Not like Us

Chapter 4

Tears were racing down to escape from Bella's eyes. She could not understand what she was feeling right now. Her chest hurts and it kept her from breathing normally. The feeling just suddenly hit her for no reason at all. She buried her face on the pillow and hold her head. Her head was hurting again. It always happened everytime she cries. Why are you crying again, Bella? She asked to herself. I cannot understand you, she continued.

When Bella had calmed down, she heard a knock on her door. " Bella, are you there? " Her grandmother asked on the other side of the door. It was a soft calming voice.

She wiped her tears away and sat up from laying on her stomach. " Y- yes, grandma, you can come in. "

Her grandmother opened the door and took a peek on her. She just stayed there peeking and holding the door knob. Bella forced a smile. " D- do you need something, nana? "

Her grandmother shook her head. " No, just checking up on you. " Her grandmother looked at her and then straight to her head. " Are you all right? " she asked in a worry. Bella followed where she was looking. She did not realize that she was still holding her head. She put her hand down and laughed awkwardly. " Of course, nana! Just woke up. " She covered her mouth and yawned to make it more believable.

" Are you really sure? " Her grandmother asked. Even if Bella did not want to, she stood up from her bed and did some energetic jumping jacks so that her grandmother would believe her. " Yes! " she said with a smile.

Her grandmother sighed in relief. She thought she did not feel right. " I am glad that you are all right. What time are you going by the way? " she asked. She did not forget that Bella asked her permission to stroll around the area but if she really did not feel good today she would persuade her to just stay.

Bella looked at the clock on the side table. She had lost track of time. " Is it still twelve? " she asked in confused. They went home from the farm at almost lunch time. She took a bath and ate her lunch. She went up to her room and she remembered she slept for a bit of time before a sad feeling hit her. She looked at her window. It did not looked as hot as she remembered after they went home from the farm but the surrounding was still shunned by the sunlight. Does the time in the province move that slow?

" Oh, " her grandmother reacted as she saw Bella looking at the clock. " That clock is not functional, anymore. It is already quarter to four in the afternoon. "

Bella looked at her grandmother and then went back to the clock. She already just have a little bit of time to stroll in the forest. She needs to hurry. She hurriedly picked a ripped jeans on her closet and grabbed an oversized t-shirt. She inserted the shirt beneath her pants. She wore her black boots and tapped it a little on the floor to make adjustments. Bella had notice that her grandmother was already looking at her from head to toe. Was there something wrong?

" What? " she asked. Bella combed her and let it flow together with the wind. " I thought you just want to stroll around? " Her grandmother asked. Bella sat on her bed and rummage her makeup pouch that she had brought when she attended the party on the last bar that she had step in yesterday. It was the reason why here parents decided to send her here, the province. She applied a tint on her lips and onto her cheeks. " Yes, nana. I am just going to stroll around. Is there any problem?" Bella asked. She is not thinking that I am a little overdressed, right? She asked to herself.

Her grandmother sighed. She did not need to prepare that much to look so good. She would just attract people's attention. She shook her head. It seems like a city girl would always be a city girl, she thought.

" I am going now, nana. " Bella said as she patted some powder on her face.

Her grandmother nodded. " Be sure to be back before six, okay? Remember the evening prayer and remember what I told you? "

Bella nodded. " Be sure to comeback before six because it will be night time. It would be dangerous and the most important part, I need to join you with the prayer. And, I remember what you said, you said: ' It is not good for you to be wandering around at night for a di ingon nato might take an interest in you. ' I promised, nana. I will be home before six.” Bella said with a smile.

Her grandmother sighed and waved her hands like shooing someone out of their face. " Then, off you go. " Bella nodded and went out of her room. Her grandmother followed her until the living room. As soon as she left the house, she counted nineteen feet. One, two, three, four, five, six, ..., nineteen. Nineteen feet were measured from her grandmother's house to the entrance of the forest.

She took a deep breath when she slowly entered the forest. It was already four in the afternoon. She would not expect that she would be able to find something unusual at four in the afternoon but maybe this adventure was still worth a try. Maybe this stroll around the forest could help her clear her mind as well. It might be scarier when it was dark, colder, but as she looked around the forest, it was calming when the sun shun light to its trees and the birds flying around above her singing songs, creating melodies that were soothing to her ears.

She continued walking but as she walked, she made sure to be aware of her surroundings. What were the things she saw - trees, birds, dried leaves and twigs on the ground, what were the sounds that she could hear - her steps; everytime her feet stepped on the ground the interaction between her foot and the dried leaves created a beautiful sound, what were the texture of the things she touched as she reached her hand out to the trees, to the ground, and to the sky.

She laughed. It was funny. How she was appreciating the beauty of the forest that she ran off to yesterday because she was scared. She closed her eyes. She tried to feel herself. How was she feeling? She breathe in and breathe out. The heavy weight that she was carrying for a long, long time felt like it was lifted. The headache that she had earlier suddenly disappeared. She felt so light. She felt comfortable. She felt very open. She was alone but not lonely. She had never felt so comfortable her whole life. Ever since she was a child, she was always seen but none of her voices were heard but right here, right now, she felt their were ears that were listening to the screams she was making.