Secret Affinity

21

“Are you leaving?” Crimson asked, popping her head out of the employee room. She and I worked late today, but I decided to leave earlier.

Before going, I grabbed some drinks, sugared buns, croissants, caramel donuts, and sprinkled muffins. Crimson had no idea why I bought so much food, but it dawned on me certain people were hungry and waiting for me.

This winter introduced me to more sadness than happiness, but more things to be happy about than sad about. It was a strange idea but the way I felt right at this moment, I knew a new set of problems and miracles would come forth.

The snow crunched under my brown boots as I made my way towards the narrow streets. On the road, a flashing light blinded me, and I stepped aside to make sure I didn’t get hit by a vehicle like last time. It stopped either way, and under the glow of the streetlight, I saw a black bike with a waiting figure sitting on top. He removed his helmet.

“Quick learner,” he said, and I stood still, watching the snow land on the ground. Be nice.

“Um, can you give me a ride today?” I asked. A heartbeat passed. He must be wondering why I didn’t ignore him. “I don’t have my helmet but...”

“You'll freeze without one,” he said. Did he decline?

“Oh, wait,” I said, lifting my head. “Just a minute. Wait.” He crossed his arms, and I crossed the road. I couldn't delay this.

In the cold, snow, and wind, the three homeless kids sat underneath the shed on the street, exactly where I last saw them.

“Hi,” I said in the tranquility. They crept further into the darkness of the shed, and I tried to sound as friendly as possible. “Are you hungry? I have some food for you.”

A stranger asking you if you wanted food might be uncomfortable, but I wanted to do a good deed—anything for the children that would make me and Mom happy.

“I bought it for you at the bakery,” I told them softly and took out the paper bag of food. “Here, don’t be scared.” I put down the bag in front of them and smiled. Still, no response. But their expressions relaxed, turning puzzled. “I’m going now. Bye.”

As I walked back, their eyes followed me until I came to the bike. I waited with my eyes glued to them until the child in the middle reached for the bag.

Satisfied, I turned to Arian. “Um, like I was saying, I don't have a hel—” He plunked his helmet over my head, startling me. I stared through the flap without budging a muscle, confounded by what he did.

“I'm not waiting any longer,” he said. I quickly sat on the bike behind him. “Was that necessary?”

When I realized he was talking about the homeless kids, I said with a passion, “Of course it was.” We shared a look in the wing mirror before he broke the gaze and drove off the snowy path.

I was once again absorbed in the luminous stars scattered across the sky. Wow, it had been ages since I had this experience. On the bike, in the wind, and although it was super-cold, it was amazing.

Then I hit reality.

“Hey, you’re not supposed to ride a bike in snow!” I yelled over the wind. Arian crossed a red light right after it appeared. “Hey!”

I received no answers from him till the point where we stopped at his driveway. I got off the bike.

“Aren’t your ears hurting?” I asked him. He rode his bike, in the winter, without a helmet on. I took it off and gave it to him. “Sorry, I didn’t know it was going to be this cold.”

“I have a large immunity to cold,” Arian said while turning his bike off.

“Thanks for the ride,” I said and walked to my house. He was probably bluffing.

Lying in my bedroom with my covers up to my waist, I had a novel in front of me. It was one of Mom’s favourite books, and at this moment, I wanted to surround myself with some of her memories and presence.

If she were to be in my shoes, what would she do? The only two people I had issues with on a closer level were Arian and Ally. Their worlds were so different, and it was hard to know what intentions and thoughts they had in mind.

How could I get along with them? Especially when they both found me on the hate-spectrum? Then again, why was I caring about it when I was a total stranger?

A light barking turning monstrous startled me, and I put my book down. Getting a jacket from my closet and new boots I hadn’t worn yet, I went down the trellis into the snow.

“Restless in all weather conditions, aren’t you?” I said to Butterscotch, and he peered up at me with his curious brown eyes. “We don’t want to disturb the neighbourhood, do we?”

The dog barked at me, a single, loud bark. I crouched, shivering to the gust. He roamed close to my knees, paws clawing at my PJs. He barked again towards the gate, and I heard the soft crunching on snow.

“Hey, you know him better than I do, right?” I asked Butterscotch, the image of Arian floating into my mind. “Should I stay away from him?” Butterscotch tilted his head, and I rubbed his white fur. He sure blended well with the snow. “Is he bad?” I said. Chatting with a dog was near to pointless, but it helped me figure things out. “Okay, is he nice?”

Butterscotch barked at me. Was that a yes, or a no? Did he even understand me?

“Butterscotch, will you hate me?” I said. Nothing. A sigh escaped my lips. He tipped his head up and began to bark. “Shh! Come on, I thought this was going well.”

I followed his gaze up to the gate and to someone standing on the other side, listening. I stood up and saw Arian with his arms folded on the gate.

“How long have you been here for?” I asked him, pulling in my eyebrows.

“A while,” he replied. He bent his head slightly. “Why?” Did he hear me talking to Butterscotch? God, why?

Forget about Butterscotch. I ran up the trellis, peeking below me before re-entering my room and shutting the window. Now, I could never confront Arian. Stupid dog.

Sighing out loud, I dug into my covers and turned off the bed lamp. I kept Mom’s novel close to my chest and fell asleep.

--

I had never seen the McCoys’ basement before, and I got a vivid look of it for Andy’s birthday. It was huge, and the emptiness of it helped its large appearance.

Dad unfortunately couldn’t come but might drop in for the last ten or so minutes. On the other hand, I was part of helping with the arrangements and went to the McCoys’ house early in the morning. All the family members were at home, all at once. All seven of them.

Andy walked around with a birthday hat on the whole day. Liara and I had made it exclusively for him, and he loved it. Ally had already commented that it was hideous, but we’d all gotten used to her behaviour.

“Oh my God, there’s only twenty minutes left until the party starts,” Julianna said in worry. Elise patted her arm to calm her.

“Mommy, I like it so far,” Andy told her, exploring the various decorations we had put up in the house and basement.

“Come here,” Julianna said, hugging him. “Okay, time to set up the table and we’ll be done. Evin, honey, get those napkins from the kitchen. Ally, can you get the tablecloth, sweetie?”

“Urgh, he’s only turning five-years old. What’s the big deal?” she groused at the stairs.

Liara and Arian were sitting on the smaller couches in the basement, waiting, idle, doing nothing. Andy began to follow the crowd go upstairs, but I lifted him.

“Where are you going?” I said. “You’re the birthday boy. You let people do everything for you.”

“I can’t help?” he said, turning in my arms.

“You can, but you’re so small and you might get hurt,” I told him. “Are you excited?” He nodded and pulled my cheeks. “O-w, A-ndhy.”

“What did you get for me?” he asked, and I pretended to zip my lips. He smiled, and I put him on the ground again. “Can you get my favorite book?”

“Sure. Stay here, okay?” I said and went up the stairs.

Evin and Ally were bringing down the refreshments, and I took the stairs to Andy’s bedroom. I picked up the book he left on the bed and began to leave.

I stopped when a crumpled piece of paper fell from the bed. I picked it up and saw Andy’s list of wishes. Horcy, hapynes, love, a hug, daddy and mommy, coton candy. Did Julianna, Elise, or anyone get to read it? I crumpled it back into my hand and took it downstairs with me.

Julianna was in the kitchen opening the cake box. When she saw me, she asked me to get the candles from the cabinet.

I opened the cabinet she pointed to. “Julianna, do you have cotton candy for the party?” She had no idea. “Doesn’t Andy like cotton candy?”

“He’s never told me,” she said. I nodded but didn’t show her the wish-list. She’d only worry for missing those things.

The basement was completely set up by the time I came back. Ally was sitting with Arian, and Evin was playing with Andy. Andy took the book as the doorbell rang.

“Let’s go see who’s here,” Evin said to Andy and lifted him. “Guys, come on. We have our first guest.”

“Why is this so formal?” Ally said, following Evin with Liara close behind her. Arian walked last, but I was rooted to my spot. I opened up Andy’s wish-list and reread it. Arian shot me a glance, and his eyes fell on the paper before he left. I had to show someone the list.

Julianna’s brother, Jack, and his family were the first to come. Jack remembered me right away and asked me about Dad. Mathew and Curtis hugged Andy, and they had presents in their hands.

“s**t, you’re Ally?” Curtis said when all the older kids grouped up in the dining room.

“Yeah, so?” Ally snapped. “You’re that annoying kid who used to mess up my hair all the time. We all remember.”

“Okay, relax,” he said. “Why did you come here, anyway, of all years?”

“It’s none of your business,” Ally answered, and Curtis rolled his eyes. He turned to me and smiled, saying hello. “Goodness, you know her, too?”

“What do you mean?” Curtis said. Ally shook her head, mumbling something about boys and me. “She’s approachable so…guys like innocent girls, not cruel b’s.”

“Oh, I bet they do,” Ally said, glaring at me. Confusion crossed my face, and Ally sat on one of the chairs. “She still doesn’t get it. Guys sure like stupid girls. Arian, can we go somewhere?”

“This is your brother’s birthday party,” Curtis said in disbelief. “Some sister, you are.”

Before they began to fight, Arian interrupted. “I can't tolerate your stupid argument. Ally, I’m not going anywhere.”

More guests arrived for the party, including Spike, surprisingly Ruby, Crimson, and some more families. The adults stayed with their younger kids in the basement.

Towards the end, it was time to cut the cake. Andy had the biggest smile on his face, the light of candles reflecting in his eyes. It made my heart bloom in happiness for him. We sang Happy Birthday while he blew his five candles. It was present-time, so we all gathered around the table as Elise and I brought all the gifts.

Andy was happy with all of them, thanking everybody with politeness. Crimson couldn’t stop having a mushy, mesmerized face as she watched Andy like he was an angel from Heaven.

Then, Andy opened my present. “A horsey!” he exclaimed, putting a smile on my face.

Nobody wanted to leave when the party was over, except Crimson who had no choice, so they sat upstairs chatting like on any dinner invitation. However, we—me, Evin, Ally, and Arian—had to pack up and clean the basement. Curtis joined us with some others.

“I think this is the best party yet,” Evin said, taking off the tablecloth. “Andy was really happy this year.”

“He likes the hugs,” Curtis said. “He hugs everyone every year.” And he certainly got love, too. “I’m going upstairs to get a drink.”

“Yup, we’re done here,” Evin said, surveying the basement. “Let’s go get drinks.” Arian didn’t move from the couch. “Arian, are you coming?”

“No,” he replied. The others left, but I didn’t go either. I had some business with Arian, but I couldn’t convince myself to leave it alone. He glanced up. “What?”

My hand went to my back pocket to make sure Andy’s letter was still there. I slowly pulled it out.

“I wanted to, uh, not talk, but,” I had no idea where I was going with this, but Arian seemed to wait. “Okay, I just want to say, I kind of, I was ignoring you for a while. I mean,” I paused, thinking of the right words.

“Are you here with a script?” he said, nodding towards the paper in my hand. I looked down at it and shook my head.

“No. No script,” I said. “I’m just saying sorry because I’ve been mean, or I don’t know, avoiding you. I didn’t know I was being rude to you until Crimson told me. And yeah.”

“You’re apologizing for avoiding me?” he said, and I shrugged and nodded at the same time. “That’s what you’re supposed to do. Avoid me, don’t talk to me.” I didn’t predict this.

“Okay,” I said, but the word tasted plain.

“You’re still talking to me,” Arian said and stood up. “At this point, you should be gone.”

“Okay.” He gave me a pointed look. “Hold on.” I straightened out the paper. “I found this in Andy’s room. I had to show someone.” Arian came forth to take it, and I waited until he read the whole list. After he finished, he crumpled it in one hand as his eyes turned icy.

“That’s where the horse came from,” Arian remembered. “Some of these are hard wishes.”

“He’s five now. What could he possibly wish for,” I started, “that won’t be fulfilled? All those things on the list—”

“Can’t be done,” Arian finished, his voice hard. “You didn’t show this to anyone, have you?” I shook my head and just like that, the ice melted from his eyes. “Is there a reason you always come to me first?” Always?

“What do you mean always?” I said, my forehead creasing. He didn’t have to answer. If he hadn’t told me, I wouldn’t have realized that he was right. “I don’t know. Do you want me to throw it away?”

He walked up to me, so close I had to walk back in par with him. “You already lost my trust,” he told me when I hit the table. “I’ll keep this with me.”

We heard loud voices above us and thuds as people moved upstairs. It became hectic, and Arian’s face quickly replaced with apprehension. He headed up the stairs. I was close behind him and saw all the elders on their feet, looking out the window.

Evin came up to us. “Arian, dad called. This is a terrible day. You have to call him back.” Arian left the living room and went somewhere alone. One word clung onto me: dad.

The bell rang, and Elise went to go get it. At the doorstep under the dark night, I saw Dad with his business suit still on.

“Sorry I came a bit late,” Dad said. “Where’s the birthday boy?” He was tired. His eyes were shallow, and some of his hair was disarrayed. What happened to him?

“Steve, today’s a really bad day for you to drop by,” Elise said, her face concerned. “Come on in.”

Dad must’ve read the situation because when he found me, he stood next to me in silence. I was worried about him and wanted to speak with him, but it was all quiet right now. Jack and he shared a nod as a greeting but nothing more.

Arian came back the way he left and judging by his expression, something was going on, and it wasn’t good. He passed a look to Dad as he walked by.

“What’s current now?” Evin asked him.

“Go back to your houses as soon as possible,” Arian said, slipping his cell phone back into his pocket. “In twenty minutes. If they find your house empty, it’ll be harder for you.”

With that said, everyone swarmed out of the McCoys’ house, saying their rushed goodbyes and hugging Andy one last time. It was only Dad, me, and the McCoys left in the living room.

“What’s going on?” Dad said, his arm wrapped around my shoulders tightly. Evin sat him down at the dinner table for an explanation I wasn’t part of.

“Dad, let’s go,” I called, opening the door to the front porch.

“You’re staying here,” Arian said, shutting the door. For someone who always told me to leave his house, it was surprising to hear him say that.

“What? You said everyone should go to their own houses,” Ally complained from the couch.

“Ally,” Elise said sternly. “We don’t know what to expect. We have to stay calm. Ari, it’s safer for you to stay here.”

“What’s happening?” I said, when Evin and Dad came into the living room. Arian opened the door after a minute and disappeared outside. We went to watch from the living room window.

Julianna wasn’t here. She probably went upstairs, but I couldn’t see her anywhere. Andy was with Liara on the couch, and Dad quietly talked to him because it was his birthday.

Outside, Arian walked all the way to the other side of the street towards two white cars. He conversed with someone I believed was an agent wearing a black suit. From the white car, an NO Agent stepped outside. It took a while for Arian to come back. He was bombarded with questions.

“All of you, just go to bed,” he said, holding the bridge of his nose. He ignored what Evin and Ally were saying, and Elise took the kids upstairs.

“Can my dad and I go?” I asked. Arian looked at me through his fingers.

“Great. That one time he says ‘stay’ you say ‘I’ll leave’,” Ally scowled, standing up. “I’m done with this crap.” The atmosphere she left behind wasn’t any better.

“I need a break,” Arian said, trudging towards the stairs. “It’s safe for you to go.”

Dad and I went back home and settled in my room after changing and brushing our teeth. I was sitting against the headset, my head on Dad’s shoulder as he smoothed my hair.

“What did Evin tell you?” I asked him.

He sighed deeply. “Some business about NR inspections. I’ve also heard from my colleagues about it. It’s serious this year, or it will become serious.”

“How serious?” I said, my eyes closing.

“I don’t know, but we have to work through it,” he said. “Are you okay?” I nodded slowly. “Imagine if Mom was here.”

I smiled. “She’d move out in a second.”

“A millisecond,” Dad corrected, and I opened my eyes to see his face. “Ari, I’m only worried about you. Promise me you’ll stay safe and tell me if you ever need me.”

“Same goes for you,” I said. “Are you sleeping well?” My eyes fell closed again, letting Dad’s hand put me to rest.

“Your sleep is much more important to me,” he told me. I was already half asleep with Dad beside me. He made time for Andy’s birthday and was given this awful night.

“I love you,” I said.

The last thing I heard was him say it back to me, and he placed a light kiss on the top of my head.