Forbidden Baby

Chapter 22 – Clarity

Thia’s POV

They exchanged looks and I couldn’t help but noticed the nurse shift slightly on her heel. The doctor made some unrecognisable sounds as he tapped his pen on the clipboard and looked back through Hallie’s health care notes.

‘Is everything okay?’ I looked between the two of them, a frown on my brow.

I knew it wasn’t, but they weren’t saying anything, and I needed someone to tell me what was happening. Their silent conversation was slowing causing my anxiety to get to an all time high. What could possible be wrong now? Hadn’t we been through enough.

‘Nothing to be too concerned about Thia’ the nurse smiled a little more honestly, ‘it’s just Hallie’s temperature has spiked a little today, and we can’t discharge her just yet. I am sorry, I know you are disappointed, but it’s for the best’

Was that all! The relief that embodied me was enormous ‘Oh Thank God! I thought it was something serious’

‘Oh! Thia, I am so sorry, we didn’t mean to worry you’ she said a little more apologetic ‘I just knew you would be disappointed’

‘I just need to ring Lilly and let her know’ I didn’t want to mention my situation, but I needed to tell Lilly so she could inform my parents. I expected they were already there, or on their way.

‘Of course, you can use the phone at the nurse’s station’ She patted me gently on the back and gave my shoulder a small reassuring squeeze ‘everything else is perfectly normal Thia, as soon as her temperature goes back into normal range, she can be discharge, I’d say most likely in the next 24 hours’

I made my way to the nurse’s station and rang Lilly. I knew my parents were going to be furious for another wasted trip, I thought that they may come and see me, but I didn’t hold out much hope of that. I would see them soon enough, and probably spend the rest of my life wishing I was away from them!

When I was finished on the phone with Lilly, I made my way back to Hallie’s side. Another 24 hours with my beautiful little girl. It had been such a rollercoaster of emotions over the last few months I didn’t feel like I had a chance to take it all in properly.

I stared at her and hoped I wouldn’t forget a single thing about her. I had given her a bottle and she soon started to snuggle, I lay her down in her crib and she soon drifted off to sleep. I watched her she made little noises and wriggled about. She was too cute.

Just as I was considering now was probably a good time to think about getting something to eat, Lilly came rushing to my side pulling me from my reprieve.

‘Thia!’ she had beads of sweat forming on her brow, she was pale, and her cheeks flushed, and she looked panicked ‘Thank God you are here!’

‘Where else would I be! Lilly what’s wrong?’

‘I need to talk to you. Its urgent and serious and, well, we need to go somewhere private! Let the nurse know to keep an eye on Halie for a little while, please!’

I had never seen Lilly look so shaken up, I was scared, and did exactly as she said, I trusted her completely. She rushed me to a quiet corner and started to speak, eyes wide, I listened.

‘I went to tell your parents about the delay. They were packing your things up in your room, the door was ajar, so I stepped in, I was about to call out to let them know I was there, but they were talking, well, kind of whisper shouting actually, but anyway, Thia, they are going to give Hallie up for adoption!’ She barely took a breath!

‘Lilly, it’s okay, I know’ I said quietly, ashamed I was admitting I knew about this and was agreeing to it.

‘WHAT?’ she looked so shocked ‘But you love her! You are such an amazing mum, you are so capable, why would you allow that to happen? I thought you wanted her?’

She just couldn’t get her head around it. Neither could I, if I were honest, but I had done it all the same. I was horrified at the thought of losing her, but equally, struggled with the idea of selfishly keeping her and not giving her the life, she deserved. At least this way, I still got to see her.

‘I do love her, and I do want her and truthfully, I don’t want it to happen, but they said I was incapable of giving her a good life, they won’t help me, I would be on my own, homeless and penniless, what could I offer her? They said if I did as they said, told no one about her, didn’t contact any of my friends or my brothers, they would agree to an open adoption so I could still see her from time to time. So that’s what I have been doing. I couldn’t bear to never see her again’ I admitted.

‘Oh Thia!’ she wrapped me in her arms ‘I wish you would have felt you could talk to me. There are things we can do to help you, charities, organisations, you would get financial support and housing, there is so much we can do to help you!’ She went to continue speaking but her words had my head spinning.

‘Is it too late? For you to help me?’ I asked unsure if I was prepared for the back lash of what I was saying.

‘It’s not too late, but there is something else you should know’

‘What is it?’

‘They haven’t arranged an open adoption’

‘What?’ confusion washed across my face ‘What do you mean?’

‘I heard them Thia, they said, they were relieved you had done as you were told and ‘at least one thing had gone right.’ Then they said the adoption had been confirmed. By tomorrow, you or they would never have to deal with ‘it’ again, and they would never have ‘it’ mentioned again, it would be like ‘it’ never happened… as long as they could continue to convince you to sign the papers’

She talked so fast and hushed I was trying to take it all in!

‘Oh my god! They had no intention of letting me see her again, did they! It would be like she never existed. Lilly, what have I done!’

‘They can’t do anything without your consent, but we need to act fast, they kind of scared me Thia, they sounded ruthless!’

‘They are not people I want near my child, that’s for sure. I never want to see them again! I’m scared Lilly, what do I do now? I’ve been such a fool; I’ve left it all too late and now they will come after me’

‘I’ll call Mrs. Radcliffe and explain, in the meantime, is there anyone you can call who you could stay with for a few days while we sort this out, it won’t be safe for you at the house’

‘My brother, I can call my brother! He’ll know where I can go’

Lilly took out her mobile phone and I ran straight to the nurse’s station and asked if could use their phone, the look on my face made them know it was urgent, and she handed me the phone without question.

My first thought was to call Gabe, but before I dialled the number I had memorised, I decided Zeke would probably be better equipped to help me, being older, he probably had a friend I could stay with. I suddenly thought of Freddie, but I didn’t have time to procrastinate.

I had no idea if Zeke knew about Freddie or if Freddie knew about the baby! Although I hoped that they did, I wasn’t stupid enough to make assumptions and cause any delays.

I rang the number, and it rang a few times, my heart raced as the sound of the dial tone rang and rang. The phone clicked ‘Zeke… is that you?’ my mouth went dry as I waited to hear a response.

‘Thia…’

‘Oh Zeke!’ I couldn’t help the tears that flowed.

I tried to keep it together as much as I could, I was at an open desk in the main part of the ward, but it was hard to keep my emotions in check. It had been so long since I had heard his voice and I missed him so much.

‘Thia! It’s okay, I’m here, where are you??’

‘At the hospital! I need your help’

‘What happened are you okay? The baby… what happened…’

‘We are okay, but I need you to find me somewhere to hide for a few days while I get sorted. I’m not coming back Zeke, I won’t let them take her away from me. They will be here tomorrow; can you help me?’

‘Thia, We will be with you in 6 hours. Can you be ready? Get everything you need! We have a lot to tell each other, but now is not the time, we’ll have plenty of time for time for that, I am so glad you called’

‘I don’t know if Hallie will be ready for discharge in 6 hours, but I can try! I love you Zeke, thank you!’

‘Hallie’ I could hear the smile in his voice ‘It’s a beautiful name Thia, We love you too! We’ll see you soon. What ward are you on?’

‘Ward twenty-eight, yellow zone, children’s’

‘See you soon little sis’ I could here the relief and excitement in his voice, and I couldn’t help but feel happy about it.

He hung up and I wiped the tears from my eyes, Lilly was now standing by me ‘Did you manage to sort anything?’ she asked softly, looking much calmer than she had.

‘Yeah, My brother will be here in 6 hours, but I don’t know if Hallie will be okay to leave, they said it maybe a day or two!’ I was so anxious I thought my heart would jump out of my chest.

The nurse looking after Hallie came to my side ‘Lilly explained you may need to leave today; I have checked Hallie’s temperature and it has dropped. I am going to speak to the doctor, if I can get you discharged, you need to promise me you will register her wherever you go and get her checked up immediately with your local midwife’

‘Promise!’ I prayed they could get us out of here before Mum and Dad showed up.

‘They aren’t coming here Thia’

‘How…’

‘It wouldn’t be far from my mind either. Mrs Radcliffe told them she is planned for discharge after the weekend, so it gives you a few days to get sorted. We can’t really be seen to interfere, but when it is against the will of one of our girls, we will always do what we can!’

I held back my tear ‘I’m sorry I didn’t tell you sooner, I just thought I was doing the right thing!’

‘Hindsight is a wonderful thing, but don’t be sorry, I am only glad we can do something now’ she squeezed my hand ‘Now, I think Hallie is due a feed, and I am going to pop back to the house and get your things, I’ll be back in a couple of hours’

‘You really are amazing Lilly!’

She left to get some things together for me and when she was gone, I went over all Hallie’s care needs, and hospital notes with the nurse so I had a clear idea of everything. I had no idea where I was going, but the nurse assured me, if they called the ward, they would be able to send over everything they needed.

Mrs. Radcliffe had said Lilly could stay with me until they arrived, all my stuff was in her car, she had offered me her car seat, assuming Zeke wouldn’t have one. Lilly arrived about an hour ago, It was starting to get late, Zeke and Gabe should be here soon.

I was getting anxious and then I heard the buzzer for the ward go. Butterflies swirled in my stomach as I waited for him to get to me. As I saw his tall, toned frame and signature mess of curly black hair stride towards me I couldn’t wait any longer and I threw myself into his arms.

‘Zeke!’

‘Thia’ he cried into me ‘Where’s my niece?’

‘Where’s Gabe?’

‘Oh, he’s not here, long story’

‘But you said we, we are coming? Did something happen?’

‘Oh! No, I meant me and…’

‘Me’ an unfamiliar voice spoke from behind Zeke.