CHAPTER 34: PHANTOM SHADOWS
571 Words
Mama Eliza eventually had to step out to the nurse's station to sign some updated clearance forms for the cardiology unit, leaving Reuben and me alone once again in the quiet room.
The steady, repetitive beep of the heart monitor seemed to amplify inside my head, morphing from a medical indicator into a countdown timer. I stood near the window, my arms tightly crossed over my chest, staring blankly at the hospital bed.
Suddenly, the image of my father lying pale and helpless blurred. In its place, a horrific, ghostly memory from my past life forced its way into my mind.
I wasn't seeing Papa Renato anymore. My mind, triggered by the suffocating atmosphere of sickness and vulnerability, dragged me back to that dark, cold room from my previous life. I was seeing my baby. My poor, fragile child whose breath had slowly slipped away while Mark just indifferently inserted earphones in his ears to drown out my cries and just dozed on the sofa. My baby had died in a squalid, neglected corner because we had no money, no medicine, and a husband who treated our agony as a mere nuisance.
A sudden, sharp wave of nausea hit me. The absolute terror of losing someone I loved due to financial helplessness clawed at my throat. My breathing hitched, turning shallow and rapid as the phantom weight of my dead child pressed heavily against my chest.
No. Not again. I will never let poverty destroy the people I love in this life. Never.
"Malia? Hey... look at me. You're hyperventilating."
Reuben's deep, urgent voice suddenly cut through the horrific flashbacks. Before I could pull away, his large hands gently but firmly gripped my shoulders, turning my body away from the bed so I was facing him completely. His dark eyes were wide with intense worry, searching my panicked face.
"Reuben," I choked out, my voice trembling violently as I struggled to find air. I closed my eyes, the image of Mark’s indifferent, sleeping face on that old sofa flashing in my mind, making my blood boil with pure, unadulterated rage. "Kahit anong mangyari... kahit anong hirap... hinding-hindi ako lalapit sa kaniya. Hinding-hindi ko hihilingin ang tulong ng hayop na 'yon. Mas pipiliin kong magkautang-utang o magtrabaho araw-araw kaysa ibaba ang sarili ko sa lalaking sumira sa akin."
Reuben didn't ask who 'he' was. He didn't question the sudden, unexplained venom in my voice or why a hospital room had triggered such a deep, visceral hatred in me. He simply stepped closer, closing the distance between us, and wrapped his strong arms around my trembling frame, pulling me tightly against his chest.
"Shh... I know. You don't have to look for anyone else, Malia," Reuben whispered into my hair, his hand gently pressing the back of my head against his firm shoulder, shielding me from the sight of the medical monitors. "Hindi mo kailangang ibaba ang sarili mo sa kahit kanino. Nandito ako. Kakayanin natin 'to. I will help you protect your family, I promise."
Leaning against his chest, listening to the calm, steady beat of his own heart, the ghosts of my past life slowly began to recede. Mark had taken everything from me before, but in this life, I had a different variable. I had Reuben—a man whose foundation was built to withstand my darkest storms.
- Writer
