Chapter 1
1869 Words
Chapter 1
Santos
I was 10 years old when I labeled myself as a lesbian, I was in my 5th grade class when I saw this girl passing by the corridor, she was older than me, I think that she's on her 7th grade. She was so cute with her uniform, and I felt attraction towards her, which is weird 'cause I was also a girl, I didn't know what's that feeling is so I began researching for an answer. it took me moths to figure it out but then boom I discovered that I was indeed a lesbian.
Una kong sinabihan ay ang matalik kong kaybigan na si Britney, she was in the same class as I am, pero pinag sisihan ko kung bakit ko sinabi sa kanya, dahil iniwasan nya ako. Nung una I tried talking to her but she refuses she can't even look at me, then rumor spread the entire class that I have feelings for her, which is not true I never had feelings for her, yes I love her but not in a romantic way. Then I heard Britney one day in the girls bathroom talking to two other girls na nag sasabi na may gusto ako rito.
I was depressed at that time I can't focuse on my grades and my parents began noticing it, but I kept it to myself at tinanim sa aking isipan na no one ever can know who I really am, especially my parents. In 6th grade I began to change myself I hide behind the closet and begun using makeup which I did like eventually, hindi naman ako katulad ng ibang lesbian na gugustohing mag cross dress, I stayed being girly.
Time has pass at hindi na ulit na ungat ang issue pa tungko sa aking sexualidad, my ex-best friend already transferred tisa din siguro sa mga dahilan kaya hindi na ito na pag uusapan, maybe they suspect that she just spread the rumor to put me down, One of my classmate say that she's jealous of me because I was the smart and pretty one among us.
"Look out!" shouted the girl in tang tops pointing at the ball that almost hit my face, she has the same height as I am but a little darker on her skin tone, meron din itong boyish hairstyle na parang kay Harry Styles. I pick the ball on the ground, "sorry about that, my friend and I were playing basketball" she pointed on the group of guys in the basketball court, I offered her the ball back and she took it from me gently. "gusto mo bang sumale? we are missing one member" she invites me, nag isip pa ako nang sandali but iventually agreed, from that day I made a friend, her name was Ashley, Ash for short.
4 na taon kaming naging matalik na kaybigan, she tells me secret and everything about her and I tell her mine, she knows the real me and I know the real her.
"I came out to my parents last night George," she told me one day habang nasa bleachers kami nang court, "they told me that they already knew from the start and they support me" she happily told me.
"I wish my parents would be supportive of me to" I sigh, inakbayan nya ako.
"Sure they will, your their only daughter, they love you" she explain, does word gave me hope
**********
I was plotting the right words to say to my parents, balak ko nang sabihin sa kanila ngayong gabi, pagod na akong itago ito at sa tingin ko ay ito na ang tamang panahon, pumasok ako sa bahay at kinakabahang sinabi ko sa kanila.
My father did not accept it, he told me that I was just confused na baka na inpluwensyahan lang ako ni Ashley, I was so upset that night. I tried to explain to them that I knew my identity even before I met Ashley, but he still refuse to accept me. My mother just stared at me disappointingly.
They scheduled me to shrink it's like I just have illness that can be recovered. They also let me cut all ties with Ashley, they never want me to talk to her ever again, I felt so alone I wanted to kill myself.
I felt so tired so I just went with them pretending that I was straight I dated guys so that my dad can see that I am "cured" but deep down in me I know who I am. And it's really hard when there are so many beautiful women around me
In college I had a relationship with a woman named Emily, we dated in secret for 2 years, but she got tired of hiding so I promised her that when we graduate we will announce that where in a relationship.
I graduated from law school and eventually moved out, and moved in with my girlfriend. I am planning to introduce her to my parents
"I thought you already change Georgina?" my dad asks while looking into my eyes intensely
"Dad wala akong sakit, this is really who I am, hindi ito sipon na mawawala kung bibigyan nyo ng gamot" I explain with a teary eye
"Tigilan mo na yang kahibangan mo Georgina, babae ka and you should act like one" my dad angrily say, my mom just stared at me while pulling my father's shoulder.
"Mahal ko sya dad, kaylan nyo ako matatanggap? for many years I pleased you, I even buried myself just for you, I just wanted to be happy" I cried, Emily held my hand
"Hanggat hindi ka nag papaka babae, I would never accept you to this family you understand? You may leave my house" he shouted and left
At pinanindigan nga niya ang kanyang sinabi they never wanted to see me ever again, I tried to contact them but I never got a response from them, after 5 years Emily found a job in Canada, I couldn't come to her, Kaka tangap lang sa akin ng Fresh Field at pangarap ko talagang mag trabaho dun, ito ang dahilan kaya nag hiwalay kami.
Now here I am 30 years old still single.
**********
Navarro
"Ms. Rose here's the papers that you need to sign," my secretary said to me
"Just put it my table Vicky, thanks" I replied, sinunod nya naman ito at lumabas na nang aking opisina
It's been two months since we got back in the Philippines and I never heard any word from Jaxon, the twins are now attending pre-school here in the city, while I on the other hand run Avari hotel.
My office is quiet when suddenly my door opened widely, and there I see my best friend Alexis Go came inside with a big smile on her face. We met few years ago in the US, at that time she was an intern at nag ka kilala kami sa isang cafe na parati kong pinupuntahan and coincidentally we ordered the exact thing, we chatted a little and since parehas kaming pinay ay mas nag click kami we exchange numbers that day at yun ung simula ng pag kakaybigan namin.
"Kamusta Rose?" she asked me still having a big grin on her face
"Uso kumatok Lexie" I told her still signing the papers "I'm fine, so what brings you here?" binaba ko ang fountain pen ko at inayus ang mga papeles na pinirmahan ko, I will make rounds after lunch
"Bumisita lang, baka naman kasi mag mukha ka ng monitor dito, when was the last time you had fun Rose," she told me at umupo sa couch na malapit sa table ko
"I don't have time for fun Lexie, I have my two children waiting for me in my house" tumayo ako at lumabas ng aking opesina "Vicky please call all supervisors we'll have to discuss the promo to them in the meeting room in 10 minutes" tumango lang ito at ginawa ang inuutos ko
"Labas naman tayo, besides I miss you," she said while putting her lips
"Fine but I need to go home by 12mn may pasok pa ang mga bata bukas" pag suko ko she hugged me and excitedly exited the hotel
When I arrived at the meeting room everyone was there so we began to discuss the next promo for the hotel.
After the meeting, I received an email
I want you back, where can I call you
Its from my ex husband I ignored him, after 2 months ng walang paramdam yan ang ibubungad nya sakain, unbelievable.
I started working again and signed more papers, at 5 o'clock I fixed my stuff and head home. 30 minutes ay naka rating ako sa bahay, I saw my two lovely angels sitting in the family room watching television. I approach them and kissed them on the head
"Mommy Lily has a crush" pag susumbong ni Eli sakin
"No, I don't" deny ng huli
"But I saw you in the swing talking to JC Salazar" bumelat pa ito sa kanyang kapatid
"Baby stop teasing your sister. Now, who wants to help me cook?"
"Ay ma'am kami na po dito" tarantang sabi ni Anne na isa naming katulong
"It's okay Anne; you can help Manang Lei in the washroom"
As much as possible I want to cook the meals that my children eats, in that way I can show my kids that I love them and show them through my cooking. At night I made sure that the twins fell asleep before I went out with Alexis, nag bilin na rin ako sa aming mga katulong.
Nang makarating kami sa bar ay dumeretsyo kami ni Alexis sa bar counter para maka pag order nang inumin she ordered blue lagoon and I ordered cosmopolitan, habang nag k-kwentuhan ay napansin kong parang nakatingin sakin ang isang babae sa kabilang side ng counter, she's wearing a corporate attire. Mukhang kakagaling lang nito sa trabaho, but it's weird cause she keeps on staring at me. I ignored it and went back on talking to Alexis.
"Rose lets dance" pag aaya nito sakin, which I agree
We where happily dancing in the dance floor, nang mapansin ko na may ibang ka sayaw na ang aking kaybigan, isang matangkad na lalake. I was about to leave when I felt someone touch my waist, it was that girl before, she was swaying her hips and touched my waist, I just went along with her.
We dance with each other I liked it. She was very good at dancing I can tell by her moves.
"Can I buy you a drink?" she asked
"I can buy my drink lady, so no thanks" we sat at the counter "One sangria please," I told the bartender
"I'm George by the way" she offered her hand which I accept
"Rose" I introduced myself and sip my sangria
"I never saw you here before"
"This is my first time here" I glance at my watch and saw that it's almost 12:30 am, sakto naman na umupo sa tabi ko si Alexis
"Lexie I need to go may pasok pa ang dalawang bata" pag papaalam ko
"Wag muna mommy Maaga pa" pang aasar pa neto
"You're married?" George
"Oh I guess you both already met," Lexie said in a tipsy voice
"Yeah, so you know each other?" they both nodded "well I have to go, it was nice meeting you George" sabi ko lang at umalis
I still feel weird with this George girl she's like gives me chills, I left that instant and went home.
- Writer
