Everything I'm Not

Chapter 3-1

CHAPTER 3

The next day, Reagan decided to visit the library. She had completed the romance book she was reading the night before. The woman that worked at the counter anticipated her arrival every Saturday morning. At this point, she was practically on her way to getting a key for the front door.

“Good morning, Reagan,” the woman said.

“Morning, Donna.”

“So . . . was it good?” Donna asked.

Reagan smiled and strolled up to the counter. “It was so good. I couldn’t believe the way he proposed to her.”

“I know, I cried. Isn’t that pathetic?”

“No, don’t feel bad. I cry all the time when I read romance.” Reagan chuckled and slid the book to Donna.

“You know, Mary is talking about retiring soon. You should apply here once she leaves,” Donna said.

“You think so?”

“Oh yeah, this would be the perfect job for you. Heck, you’re here more than I am sometimes.”

“Come on now, that’s not true.” Reagan paused for a second as Donna raised her right eyebrow. “Okay, it’s kind of true, but do you blame me? I live alone, I have a job that I don’t like, and two degrees that I’m not using. I have no clue what I’m doing or what I’m going to do. So, I fill in the void with books and movies. And that’s the extent of my lonely life.”

“Wow, that’s deep, sweetie. Sorry, I wasn’t trying to bother you. I thought you’d like to know, in case you were at least interested in changing your job,” Donna said.

“No, you’re right. It would be a good start at making a change. Let me know when she decides to retire, and I’ll apply,” Reagan replied.

“Will do.”

Reagan found herself a new book to read and stopped again to see Donna, before heading out the door. She handed over her library card and waited on Donna to do her thing.

“Here you go, honey. Enjoy,” Donna said.

“I’m sure I will,” Reagan replied.

“See you next Saturday,” Donna added.

Reagan nodded. “See ya.”

She turned and walked back out the door, reading the back of the book. She didn’t pay much attention to the world around her as she strolled down the sidewalk. This Saturday morning routine had become an essential part of her life. Luckily, her apartment was only a few blocks away from the library, making for the perfect opportunity to get exercise. She wrapped her scarf around one more time in attempt to seal out the cold air. For the most part, the small town was peaceful this time of day. The crunching sound of the salt beneath her boots was only interrupted by the occasional passing car.

She flipped to the inside of the novel and began reading it as she walked along. Then her salt-crushing commotion was joined by the sound of another pair of boots. Reagan immediately grew uncomfortable. Her loner lifestyle created a certain amount of awkwardness when she was approached by other human beings. She didn’t know whether to slow down or speed up, so she decided to focus on the pages and truck forward.

“Uh, hello?” a man’s voice said from behind her.

She stopped and whipped around, prepared to grab the pepper spray from her purse if needed. Reagan looked up at the pair of eyes staring back at her. She hadn’t forgotten the chocolate brown irises that peered down at her.

“Hi,” she said, almost as if it was a question.

“I’m sorry, I wasn’t trying to scare you. I saw you walk out of the library and I thought . . .” he trailed off. She gazed up at him. Was he waiting on her to say something? Then he continued, “You work at the mall, right?”

“Yes,” she replied without another word.

“I thought it was you,” he said. She looked down at her twiddling thumbs within the blue gloves that covered them. He seemed to sense her uneasiness. “It’s okay, I really am sorry. I shouldn’t have walked up behind you like that. I just wanted to make sure I got the chance to say something this time.” He held out his hand. “I’m Jackson.”

She grinned a little and shifted the book to her left hand before reaching with her right. “Reagan.”

“Reagan? I like that,” he said.

“Thanks.”

“It’s different. You don’t hear it a lot.”

“Well, different is sort of my middle name,” she said, chuckling.

“That’s okay. That’s good, actually. I admire people that are unique.”

“You do?”

“Yeah. It’s so easy to try to be like everyone else. But to be different than the crowd . . . well, that takes courage sometimes.”

Reagan blushed and looked down at her black boots. She didn’t know what to say next. She not only spent very little time talking to other people, but also only had a minuscule amount of experience with guys. All the romance books she had checked out hadn’t quite prepared her for a face-to-face moment with a man. And a handsome man he was.

“I better get going,” she said. These weren’t the words that she truly wanted to spew out of her mouth, but she was too scared to say anything else.

“Okay. Um, do you want me to walk you home or anything?” he offered.

“No, that’s okay. I only have a few blocks to go. Thank you, though.”

“You’re welcome. I’ll see ya around.”

“See ya.” She turned and started to walk away, scrunching her face in disgust with herself. What is wrong with you, Reagan? Just let him walk with you. Why do you have to be so weird?

She continued down the sidewalk, questioning her decision-making skills. Jackson grinned and stuffed his hands into his pockets. He glanced at her one last time, then turned back toward his car, parked at the hardware store across from the library.