You like me, don’t you?

Chapter 2-1

Reality had reared its ugly head, however; he felt that his experience points in that regard had undergone a total reset ever since he began dating Kasumi. He couldn’t help but be extremely conscious of other people’s glances, and the more he tried to act normal, the more he was unsure of what acting “normal” even was..

How did I walk when I was with Shiramori again? Was I always in front of her? Or a few steps behind? Maybe right beside her? Hmm, he questioned himself.

“You know, I’ve been thinking,” her voice disrupted his thoughts right as they arrived at their destination. She took no particular notice of Soukichi’s internal struggle and spoke to him in a somewhat tender voice. “You get through books pretty quickly.”

“Huh? Where did this topic come from?” he inquired.

“Nowhere, really. Just happened to come to mind. Ever since we met, you’ve never failed to polish off the books I lend you at lightning-speed before giving me your impressions on them the next day.”

“I’m a firm believer in getting through the books people give me fast so I can return them to their owner earlier,” he explained.

“Really now? I kinda figured that you might’ve...” she halted for a second before peering into his face with a taunting smile, “wanted me to pay attention to you.”

“Wha—”

“Maybe you thought you’d score more points with me if you were even a little bit quicker with them?”

“Nope, that’s not it. That’s just my philosophy in life: read books I borrowed in a day, and then return them the very next one,” he grumbled as he unlocked his bike’s cable. “Haah, you don’t have to overanalyze everything I do. I mean, ummm, I’ve had feelings for you for some time, but it’s not like everything I do revolved around you—”

“Is that so?” she replied with a grieved expression. She was laughing, but Soukichi could detect hints of self-deprecation and disappointment in her expression. “Ahaha.. I guess I was completely off on that one, then. That’s a little embarrassing.”

“Shiramori...”

“You know, I always got so happy when you read through my recommendations that fast. Nothing brings more joy to a bookworm than somebody who reads your favorite books and enjoys them just as much as you.”

Soukichi understood where she was coming from all too well. The feeling of a friend picking up a book that you praised was incomparable. After all, most usually wouldn’t even give it a try to begin with.

“I know you’re the type to take good care of books, and you’ve proven that, but I kinda hoped that your feelings for me might’ve played a part in that. Thinking that made me really happy, ahaha. That was probably just me being self-centered, though. Sorry,” she clarified.

“...”

“Well, I’ll be heading home now. Bye-bye,” she said, looking like she was about to burst into tears.

“H-Hold on!” he called out for her in dismay, unable to let her leave in that state. Kasumi came to a halt and didn’t turn back around to face him. This wouldn’t stop Soukichi from summoning all of his strength to lay bare his soul to her. “S-Sorry, that was all a lie. You were right.”

I don’t have any hardcore beliefs like that. I don’t even have a ton of friends to begin with, so I never really had the chance to do that sort of thing. The reason why I tore through those books was because it was you who recommended them and lent them to me. Your books always took top priority with me, even when I had other things I wanted to read, because, errr... Well, I couldn’t think of any other way to get your attention,” he explained.

Soukichi was over the moon that he’d gotten the opportunity to both lend and borrow books from the girl he so admired. He was so happy, in fact, that he consistently ended up finishing those books at a rapid pace. However, another, more personal motivation played a factor in his speed.

Kasumi, just like any bookworm, would possibly feel elated if he read any of the books she recommended. Because of that, Soukichi held a faint hope of getting on her good side by reading just that little bit quicker

It’s a pretty roundabout way to appeal to her, yes, but that’s the closest thing to a “love strategy” you can expect from a dud who can’t be direct about his feelings, he thought. “I guess what I’m trying to say is that... everything you said was relatively accurate—”

“Oh, was it now?” she cut him off mid-sentence with a vivacious voice, then finally turned back around. “I knew I was right!” she exclaimed, an indescribable smile plastered on her face. She was clearly overjoyed, like a hunter who had just watched their prey fall right into their trap. “Mhmm, I get it now. So you were that desperate for my attention all this time, hmm?”

“Wait, what?” he asked in confusion.

“Hehe, you’re such a cutie, Kuroya.”

“Y-You tricked me!” he protested.

“You only have yourself to blame for falling for it. All I did was pull a little sad expression,” she refuted.

“Yes, on purpose! I’m pretty sure that’s called ‘tricking people’!”

“You lied to me first. Should’ve been honest with me from the beginning instead of trying to look cool.”

“Ugh!” he grunted. She acted all heartbroken just to get me to drop my guard and say all that embarrassing stuff! I’ve been had yet again!!

“You gotta be more careful, Kuroya. All women are masters of the facade. Seeing how easily you got duped just now, you clearly need more experience.”

“I-I’m going home!” he stated loudly. He then hopped onto his bike and began pedaling away in a hurry just to get away from Kasumi, who was fastly approaching and trying to poke his cheek. I gotta make a run for it before I make even more of an a*s of myself!

“See ya tomorrow, Kuroya!” her voice, coupled with some hearty laughter, called out from behind him.

“Ughhh! Ughhh! See you!” he eventually mustered a reply in spite of his anger, frustration, and humiliation. The more time I spend with her, the more I’m reminded that I’m the true loser of this game of love...

It was one year ago now, and Kasumi had just entered her second year of high school.

. Around one month had passed since a certain member had joined the Literature Circle which Kasumi was the representative of.

“Ah. My bad, Shiramori. I haven’t finished reading that one yet,” a female classmate of Kasumi’s said. Kasumi had lent her classmate a certain book and was trying to send some indirect hints that she wanted it back, only to be met with that reply.

“Oh, okay. Nah, it’s fine. All good. Just wanted to make sure,” she answered back. Kasumi was looking to tell her classmate that she had been borrowing the book for over two weeks now, but in the end, Kasumi kept it to herself, instead flashing her friend a friendly smile.

I’m not even that close to her, anyways, Kasumi thought. She just happened to be sitting next to me in my second-year class. We ended up chatting with each other, and the conversation had naturally led me to lending her that book

Having said that, Kasumi was quite hesitant; she didn’t feel that they were on close enough terms for her to start giving the girl books yet. Nevertheless, Kasumi went with the flow and lent her the book in the end. Two weeks later, and Kasumi still hadn’t gotten any updates on it from her classmate.

“I’m so sorry! I just have so much going on lately!” the classmate explained. She was telling the truth in a way. She was busy going to Karaoke places, fancy cafes, and talking so much in class that she got in trouble with the teacher.

I could hear everything she was saying, she was so loud, Kasumi thought. Her patience was very much running thin, but she didn’t say as much. “It’s okay! Take your time!”

Kasumi kept her true thoughts to herself, fighting the urge to confront her classmate and tell her to give her back the book if she wasn’t planning on actually reading it. She, however, kept her composure and answered with a diplomatic reply. She knew how awkward things would get if she threw a tantrum over something as trivial as a book.

Such communication skills were crucial for living in modern society, and Kasumi happened to be particularly exceptional at it.

That’s not even me boasting. I do genuinely believe that’s the case, objectively, she added. I’ve been told by others that I’m sociable, friendly, and can read the room well ever since I was young, and I agree.

Kasumi could get along with just about anyone, regardless if she was meeting them for the first time or not, and could also blend in well with new social groups with ease. All of that, as well as her tall height and mature appearance, had resulted in her securing the “reliable older sister” position during her elementary school days.

She was able to tell exactly what the person she was talking to wanted to hear from a simple conversation with them. She, for example, knew if someone was more looking for mere empathy than an actual solution to their problems.

There was a reason why she’d made an effort to truly understand the people she interacted with, gave neutral replies to the best of her ability, and avoided any unnecessary trouble. Kasumi had realized that she could curry favor with people by acting as the friendly, cheerful character. The community around her would also function seamlessly if she made sure to reply with the correct answer to each situation presented to her, thereby putting her on good terms with her classmates.

To put it bluntly, as Kasumi saw it, the act of “reading the room” was to behave as a “version of oneself” that was required for whatever situation was at hand. In other words, it meant taking upon the role most fitting to the other party’s needs, depending on the circumstances, to the best of one’s ability.

“Playing a role” has never been a pain for me by any stretch, she pondered. I’m happy if everyone around me is happy, and I don’t really have a reason to make things awkward just to assert my ego. I enjoy being with my close friends, and even when I’m hanging out with someone I’m not as familiar with, as long as we’re laughing and having fun, I’m satisfied.

Kasumi never thought it a bad thing to adopt a fake personality in order to get in other’s good graces. However, she would be sometimes tormented by an unrelenting feeling of emptiness because of it.

When I try my best to read others and change my character accordingly, there will be times when I’m compelled by a sense of duty, a sort of voice that tells me something along the lines of: “Right now, the character known as Kasumi Shiramori must make a joke in order to to lighten up the mood,” she contemplated. That sentiment was a consistent presence in her life, and it left Kasumi feeling lonely despite being surrounded by a large group of friends.