Best Friends Since Kindergarten

Anger

RYAN

“Ryan- your fork,” Rob warned me. I realized I had unconsciously been bending it with my thumb. I put it down quickly, before it got even more warped.

“That motherfucker,” I spat angrily.

“Ryan,” Amy said quickly, grabbing hold of my arm. “You said you wouldn’t do anything.”

“I said I wouldn’t do anything crazy,” I corrected her. “He assaulted you,” I growled. She winced.

“I mean… yeah,” she sighed. “Ryan, I don’t want any more drama with him. Please. I just want to move past it and forget it.”

I searched her face. “What did he say?”

“What?” she stared blankly at me.

“What did he say? It would take more than a kiss to upset you as much as you were.” She winced. I’d asked the right question. “Amy,” I said lowly when she didn’t answer right away.

“’Ryan’s not the kind of guy who picks someone to stick with long. And when he leaves, I’ll still be here’,” she quoted quietly. Out of the corner of my eye I saw Rob put his head in his hands.

“I’m going to rip his d**k off,” I said flatly. I abruptly stood up from the table, walking my empty plate to the sink. My vision swam with red. I wanted blood, now. I gripped the sides of the sink as the water ran over the plate, trying to steady myself. I was vaguely aware of Rob saying something from right behind me. “What?” I spat over my shoulder at him.

“Ryan,” he said in his best soothe-the-beast voice. “Andres isn’t like that kid you beat up the other day. The guy used to box. You can’t just pummel him. Please think clearly.” I just snarled, turning my attention back to the water, trying to calm myself down. Rob meant well, but his words just made me angrier. More than anything, I hated feeling helpless. Andres hadn’t only laid his hands on Amy- which would have won him my rage even before yesterday- but he’d tried to make her doubt me. He wanted to drive a wedge between us. I wasn’t just going to rip his d**k off, I was going to kill him. My face felt unbearably hot; I wanted to scream or punch something (by which I mean someone).

“Ryan,” a voice said from somewhere near my elbow. I turned my head. Amy was standing there, her eyes soft. She reached up and pressed her palm to my cheek. She felt like a cool compress compared to my burning skin. I closed my eyes, leaning into her hand. “I know you’re pissed right now.” I grunted in acknowledgment. “But beating him up won’t fix anything.”

“He touched you,” I spat. “He tried to ruin us before we’d even started,” I snarled angrily. She winced at my tone. I took a deep, shuddering breath. I didn’t like scaring her. I didn’t like being upset in front of her at all, in fact. Never had. That’s why Rob always brought her along when he heard I was up to something. He knew Amy calmed me down like nobody else could. I closed my eyes, trying to regulate my breathing. Amy pressed her cool hand against my hot forehead, soothing me.

“Ryan,” she started. “If you want to get back at him, then prove him wrong.” I looked into her eyes. She was serious. “Hurting him would just confirm what he already thinks of you. Stay with me, okay? Don’t let him get the best of you.” I let out my breath in a hiss, looking away from her face. I knew she was right, but that didn’t make me less angry. I wanted to go for a run, but I didn’t want to storm off and make her think she’d done something wrong. Didn’t want to leave her and waste an opportunity to be with her either. I clenched and unclenched my fist, looking down at my hand. “Ryan,” she whispered, holding my face gently again. “I don’t care what he did or said. It didn’t work, okay? I know who you are.”

“Fine,” I forced myself to say. “But if he does or says anything at all like this again, promise me you’ll tell me.” I looked into her eyes.

“I promise I’ll tell you,” she said solemnly. She drew my face down towards hers and kissed me. I wrapped my arms around her tightly, squeezing her against me. Her head nestled neatly into the crook of my neck. I pressed my nose into her hair and breathed her in deeply for a minute, trying to calm myself down. When I finally released her, she grinned impishly up at me.

“What?” I asked nervously. She reached behind her and grabbed her plate off the counter.

“While you’re over here, would you be a dear and-“ I snorted and took the plate from her, giving her a playful shove with my free hand. She laughed. I rinsed the plates off and slipped them into the dishwasher. I could feel her waiting behind me. I turned around, noticing that Rob and Lucy had vanished. How long had I been trying to calm down? Amy was leaning back against the counter, watching me with those violet eyes. I put a hand on the counter on either side of her, trapping her between my arms and leaned down to press a soft kiss to her lips. She held onto my shirt, pulling me deeper into the kiss. A polite cough interrupted us after a few minutes. I looked up to see Rob and Lucy standing behind the counter we were leaning against.

“What do you want?” I growled.

“Have you heard the word of God?” Rob asked playfully. I glared at him, in no mood for jokes. “Alright, tough crowd,” he said, raising his hands in surrender.

“Just wanted to let you know that we’re going downstairs to watch movies. Do you want to join?” Lucy asked before Rob could annoy me further. Amy nodded eagerly, so I sighed and agreed too. I sat stiffly on the sofa while Rob and Lucy settled into their armchair. Amy poked at me.

“What?” I asked her.

“Lay down properly, you jerk,” she said. I sighed and forced myself to lie down on my back, trying my best to feel peaceful. Amy lay down on top of me, like always, nuzzling her face up under my chin. She kissed my neck softly while Rob and Lucy flipped through movie options. I massaged her back, just wanting to relax and enjoy her presence properly. We spent the rest of the day watching movies and eating popcorn until I finally felt normal.

After dinner, Lucy decided to head out. Amy sighed and said she should probably sleep at home tonight. We kissed about a hundred times before I finally let her go. Lucy, rolling her eyes all the while, basically had to drag Amy back to their house. I felt a warm softness inside me as I watched them walk away. Rob punched me in the shoulder, startling me out of my thoughts.

“Jesus, Rob, what was that for?” I snapped at him. He just grinned at me and walked back inside. I sighed, looking in the direction of Amy’s house, then slowly followed him back in.