Not Meant to Be (Fan Fiction - Min Yoongi)

Chapter 1

August, 4th

A rustling sound was heard after the clasping door, indicating that Yoongi is home. You unknowingly have that suppressed smile to finally get to see your busy boyfriend. You jumped a little in your steps towards the door.

“Hey, Yoonie Baby..!”

“Im not your baby and my name is Yoongi.”

You pursed your lips into a pout seeing his unfazed expression to finally see you but smiled right after, taking over his bag as he took off his shoes.

“How’s work, Babe?”

“Well, tiring.”

You accompanied him till the night came by, small talks and jokes, most likely your talks and your jokes. Nothing deep, it was another casual moment you’d share with him.

“You know, you don’t have to stay this late, Y/n.”

He lowly spoke, making you huffed seeing his disinterest to spend more time with you. You shook your head a no as your fingers ran to his dark messy locks, frowned a bit sensing his damped hair.

“You didn’t dry your hair again, did you?”

He shrugged.

“It’ll be dry by itself.”

After rolling your eyes, you took his hairdryer and signaled him to sit back to the headboard of the bed. You attentively blow his hair dry, once in awhile devouring the feeling of his soft hair in your palms.

“Done, My Prince..”

You joked, kissed his head as the finishing. He gave you his typical tight lipped smile, muttering a small thankyou. You tugged him to sleep, watching him by his back with your hand stroking his arm.

“I’d go once you fell asleep.”

“It’s okay, you could go-“

“I’d go once you fell asleep, Yoongi.”

You’re stubborn, he knows that. And he, wouldn’t even bothered to ask you to stay the night or gives you a lift back home, and you know that.

Typical, Yoongi is the person who has a hard time expressing himself. You won’t say he is cold or thing, he’s just not getting used to initiate sweet things as much as a boyfriend would do. You were the one who always come to him, shift your priorities for adjusting with his leisure time, tell him how much you wanted the relationship as much as how often he shows doubt towards it.

Sometimes you wondered, is this what you want? You and Yoongi are a story between two contrast people from two different world. He was an idol and you’re that common person who used to watched him through the screen. To be addition, as a person, he’s even a black to your white. You’re always this small dreamy girl who contains a lot of love inside, and you’re unwavering to keep it only for the ones you’d give all of it until you break. You’re persistently an all in or nothing at all. He’s too, obviously passionate and as persistent as you’re, just yet, it is in a different turn. Yoongi adores and cherishes the value and fortress he managed to owned after a tough past that he needed to bear alone for all those terrible years. Hence, he belittles the idea of dependency and attachment, let alone true love. Full of skepticism, for him, it was another relationship human had in this superficial world.

As much as he mocks a love story, you happened to intrigue him for some reason. He kind of likes you. The universe were pretty supporting back then and somehow, here both of you trying out the small chance.

Time to time had spoken, the truth is that, you got smitten by this man. The way he’s able to put you under his collective minds and strong charms, as if he controls you in the way you’ve never felt. He awakened something in you that you’ve never thought it exists. Despite how love of him was different from yours, the idea of easily overlook all of the settled mindset you’ve lived on, sounds at least like a love for you once. You came to believe, love conquers all, and you love him. As for him, you had these little struggles to convince yourself that he loves you the way you do, had it not, a bit less love for you would be fine, you hoped.

“Goodnight my Yoonie.”

A soft kiss was planted on his clothed shoulder as you walked out in his sleep, calls the regular taxi of Yoongi’s. He at least gave you an access to also use his personal driver anywhere, mostly to his place, since it’d be sketchy and scandalous if you’re not be careful enough.

—

September, 28th

“I don’t think this’ll work.”

A common thing he would say. It’s getting harder than you thought, indeed. The obstacles and consequences for dating a mega superstar. Merging two well-built forms into one mold, was stressful and effortful. It was another days when Yoongi was caught up in works, brings the distance in between you two. He’s aware, don’t take him wrong but he’s sensitive for some part, knowing he wasn’t the sweetest boyfriend and have his works needed to be prioritized.

“I told you, i don’t like it when you pull that words on me, Yoongi.”

You calmly argued with a sigh.

“Then what? I was saying the truth.”

“You know it won’t be easy for us since the beginning. We both know how contrast the world that each of us came from. But we have reason in common by how we’re here now. We fight for that reason. And that would be enough. That’s what matters.”

He sighed, now stared at you solemnly. His charisma still have you under the spell all over again even in this kind of situation.

“Y/n.. I just don’t see how it brings you good. Well, what’s the point of fighting if it’s not worth anything at the end.”

You heart twinged hearing his words. He’s so pessimistic that it even let your optimism melted down.

“It’s not worth anything for you, Yoongi?”

His eyes widened and he shook his head with panicked eyes. He’s still a kind man who never has any intention to harm others, especially you.

“No, it’s not like that. It’s you that im talking about. And it doesn’t feel right for me to knowing how you probably feel and let it be.. You know how busy i’d get.. and i don’t have a choice between works.”

“Babe..”

You held his hand, reassured a smile.

“I know im so much younger than you’re. But im a grown woman. I know exactly what i want. I know my limit. If it’s getting too hard for me, i know how to stop too. You don’t have to worry. The fact that i know how much i wanted to fight for us is enough for me to bear all the hard time, since it’s you..”

His eyes softened as he bit his lips, flustered by how composed you always are to handle his underlaying insecurities from problem to problem.

“Why me, Y/n? Is it because im a-“

“I know what you’re about to say.”

You retorted quickly, shot a sharp glare to him.

“Yeah that’s cool i have an idol boyfriend. That BTS billboard singer? Sure. But now what? Do you sing or rap in front of me everytime i see you? Do you try to be funny or, i don’t know, make a content for me? No, Yoongi. You’re a person who speak through your mind and act through your soul, just like every human being does.”

Your fingers pointed at yourself as you gasped for breath.

“And this human being, attaches to you, the way your mind and soul shows through you, even though it’s hard for me to learn you, i want it because you have something in you that brings me life. It was as deep as simple as that, Yoongi. Can’t you understand?”

You groaned having your temper tested. Yoongi just nodded, nibbling his lips with eyes lost in thoughts.

“Look. Im mad if you look down at what i feel for you. The things is, i want this, Yoongi. You could always talk about it if you’re the one who felt tired of this but if you asked me, i know i want it, i want us.”

You concluded assertively, retreated your hand to be fiddled by your own other hand. Still, argument like this made you nervous since he’s so hard to read, hard to be understood.

But he eventually smiled at you, being the one who took your hand in.

“Okay i understand. Thankyou for explaining.”

That’s enough to flutter your heart and sparks your soul. Had only he knew the effect he had on you.

—

November, 3th

It was your birthday, Yoongi had bought you a big bouquet of flowers. It was settled on your house’s door, without his presence. What can you say, he’s the Min Yoongi from BTS overall. You bit your lips, felt your chest tightened slightly seeing the small letter, attached to it.

‘Im sorry i can’t be there. I’ll be done with my works around 9 PM. We could meet another day if you don’t mind.’

Came to your honesty, you kinda had expected too much. Flowers were beautiful and amazing, but you thought that maybe, for once it’d be him who’d come to you, who’d show you some love and assurances you actually needed, who’d put you first at least on your special day. ‘Maybe he had tried his best but the situation doesn’t let him to..’ You convinced yourself and told him instead, that it’s okay for you to wait up in his place, again, till the night, since you have nothing to do on that day beside hanging out with your friends.

You gathered and had fun with your mates, pushed your hidden uneasiness to the back of your mind. Even then, you couldn’t share to anyone about all the fond times or struggles you had with Yoongi since you both kept it backstreet for the sake of his career. Watches all your friend brag and whine about their boyfriends, the cute clinginess, the jealousy, the sparks and the fights. Sometimes, it feels lonely for you. You could be envy too with their movie scenes worth love story.

You finally arrived at Yoongi’s place, a lil bit late since you chose to have a drink party as birthday celebration.

“Y/n? You came?”

Yoongi showed up only in his track pants, having towel around his neck while his right hand was ruffling his wet hair. You gulped, sensing a hot blood rush through your cheeks.

“H-Hey.. I told you i’ll come..”

“Oh.. I thought it was canceled since you didn’t answer my calls..”

He nodded and casually walked back to his bedroom.

You were hesitating, but eventually followed him to his room. He was putting on his black shirt and you watched his back, sitting on the couch beside the window. Weirdly today, your feelings were troubled a little too much.

“Hey..”

Yoongi snapped you out from your train of thoughts, already sat right beside you.

“What were you thinking?”

You raised your brows and smiled sheepishly.

“Nothing.”

He faintly smiled at you and stroked your hair. Rarely being like that, you’re immediately melt in ecstatics feelings.

“Happy birthday, Y/n..”

You grinned a thankyou, leaning in for a hug.

“Also thankyou for flowers..”

You cooed in his chest as he hummed. Your figure slightly pulled away from the hug to meet his eyes. He was expressionlessly pale and sassy, made you giggled.

“Can’t you be sweet for once on my birthday?”

It’s a casual joke, knowing how Yoongi is, you didn’t anticipate things. You continued pouting, booping his nose with your index finger.

“Im dry of love.. My own boyfriend is not giving me enough affectio-“

Your words were swept off by his lips. You stiffened as he passionately kissed you, doesn’t give you time to react to the very rare kiss you both are having despite 4 months being together. He pulled you closer in a strong grip, deepened the kiss in the melodious rhythm. You slowly slipped into paradise, tasting his sweet lips and delicate touch of his big hands. ‘Maybe it’s not bad after all, to fall in love with him..’

In the middle of your steamy moments, a wild bell’s pressing were ringing, made you both jolted out from each other embraces. You took seconds to function again as Yoongi took his phone which came off.

“What?”

He groaned to the phone and hung up, looked back at you.

“It’s Namjoon. I guess you should hide.”

Yes. He keeps you out even from his mates. You didn’t ask much when he asked you for it, knowing he’s a withdrawn person who’s not opening up much, likewise towards his 6 brothers. Although, your heart cracked for a bit, yet you nodded and hide anyway, inside his closet.

Some incoherent words could be heard as a footsteps came closer back to the bedroom.

“Come on, Hyung..”

Namjoon rushed the older from the door frame. Yoongi opened the closet to see you sat there in confusion.

‘I need to go.’

He mouthed carefully not to be caught by Namjoon.

‘Where?’

“Hyung, faster! Bang Pd is hitting my phone like crazy..”

Namjoon whined made Yoongi quickly took his decent clothes, squeezed your hand for second as an answer, probably indicating a sorry. Before he could closed the closet door, Namjoon called him out.

“Hyung, he was asking of which mic you wanted to bring for our tour next week? I’ve been asking you too for the past 2 weeks, make decision already..”

Yoongi froze as his eyes met with your shocked one. Still trying to make sure that what you hear could be wrong, yet again guilt in his eyes tells you otherwise. The horror in your eyes wavering, with hundred emotions darted towards him. The dark space made you grateful he couldn’t witness your teary eyes. You’re out of word and Yoongi knows that he messed up. His eyes escaped yours, too ashamed to be caught in this way. He gloomily closed the door, as you statued inside, confounded.

“The black one.”

His voice could be heard, answering Namjoon’s question. Soon they’re out from the room, the condominium and soon a car engine were heard, driving away.

“A tour next week..”

You bitterly chuckled by yourself. That’d at least took him 3 weeks away from you. ‘How could he kept that away from you? Doesn’t he care.. at all?’ He made you ride a rollercoaster tonight with all his deeds. A sob turned into two. You were lying to say that you’re okay all this time. You’re tired, frightened and hurt. How effortless he is despite his ability that mindlessly wrapped you around his fingers, how mostly bland and distant he is towards you, how it seems like he does some noble charity to love you and loss nothing once he stopped, every insecurities you had kept bottled inside were cracking out one by one, reminding of how you only having him on the tips of your fingers which could be slipped away in any blink. For the first time, on your birthday, inside his closet, you let yourself to be honest, to cry it out loud that he disappoints you and probably doesn’t love you as much as you do to him, or even as less than you do.