Between Love and Destiny

Chapter 2

    I head home thinking over everything Rosaline just told me. This is crazy.  I was just living a normal life and now everything is being turned upside down. I know what my grandmother would want me to do… I’m scared.  What if I fail? What if I’m not good enough for this?  Why didn’t my grandmother tell me about this?  I know there is no point in dwelling on the what if’s though.  This is my life now and I need to accept it and do the best I can possibly do.

    I just want to be able to measure up to my grandmother.  She was always a good woman.  She was always someone I could talk to and confide in whenever I needed it.  She always listened to my stupid meaningless problems and never judged me. Instead, she would give me her loving smile and just listen to me.  I loved her more than anything and the pain from her loss still consumes me some days.  I wake up sometimes and it feels like a wave of depression and pain washes over me.  It drowns me and I can’t come up for air.  The only sense of relief I can seem to get in that moment is through my tears, giving the emotions drowning me a sweet release.  Then, slowly, I can breathe again and get up and go through the motions for everyone as if I’m not dying inside.  Other days, I’m just numb and don’t think about it.  I block it out and give myself a forced reprieve from the overwhelming pain that consumes me every other day. I pray for the day I wake up and I don’t have to force anything.  Where the days become easier and the piece of me that is missing will suddenly be filled or not so hollow. 

    “What are you thinking about so hard?”

    I jump and let out a scream, jerking the steering wheel in the process.  I quickly jerk the steering wheel the other direction so I am back in my lane and not heading to my vehicular death.  I quickly look to my left, my heart continuing to beat out of my chest, and see the woman I saw die earlier today.

    “Can you please not do that again?! You about gave me a heart attack and got me killed!” I practically yell at her. 

    I look back at the road and try to slow down my breathing and heart rate.  I breathe in and out slowly, counting to five on each inhale and exhale.  Eventually, I get my heart rate to steady as I am pulling into my garage.

    “Are you okay now? I’m really sorry for just popping up, I didn’t meant to scare you.” She says with worry and concern.

    “Yea, I’m okay now.  I’m sorry for earlier, too, and for this morning.  I went and saw a psychic that lives near here and she explained to me what’s going on.”

    “So…What’s going on? Don’t leave me hanging here.” She giggles and looks out the window.  I can see the hurt in her eyes though, she isn’t fooling me.  I can see she is sad and wasn’t ready to die yet.  I wish I could turn time back and push her out of the way of the truck.  I know pain, and I hate for anyone to have to experience it too.

    “I have to help you crossover. Something here is keeping you from going to The Otherside and I have to help you let go.  I haven’t really worked with my powers yet, I’m still trying to take this all in you know.   Although, the psychic said she can help me, that’s actually where I just came from.”

    “Alright, is it possible I need to let go of my family to be able to pass over?”

    “I’m sorry, I don’t know yet.  I have to be home right now, but I can go back to the psychic tomorrow and we can figure this out. I promise, I’m going to help you pass over so you can be at peace.”

    “Tomorrow? There’s no way you can today? I would much rather not be a ghost, wandering around alone, till you go back.”

    I understand where she is coming from, but what am I to do? I have to be home before my mother does, otherwise she is going to be super upset.  She will blow my phone up and will demand to know immediately what is going on. 

    “I’m sorry, but I have to be home when my mother gets here,” I think about my options for a moment, but can only come up with one.  Can I really do it, though?  Am I willing to risk getting caught?  I look at her and see how hurt she is still being stuck here in this world.  I know, now, what I have to do, “I guess I can sneak out tonight after my parents go to sleep.” I watch as she smiles at me and I know that I am doing the right thing. 

    “Thank you so much! I really appreciate this.  I know you are just as lost as me right now, but I think you’ll be great at this.  You seem to have a big heart and that is important, to me, to be able to do something like this.”  How did she know that was exactly what I needed to hear? 

    I feel as though this is going to be the hardest and most rewarding adventure of my life, but right now it almost seems impossible. It’s like these world I never knew about has just collided with my world and now they are one.

    “Thank you, I needed that.  Meet me here in my car at 11:30, my parents should be asleep and we can head to the psychic.” I tell her. She gives me a single nod and she vanishes like she was never even there. 

    I quickly get out of my car and run up to my room to make it seem as though I never even left.  I take my shoes and clothes off to change into a pair of shorts and an oversized t-shirt.  After I’m finished changing, I glance at my clean room and decide there is nothing my mom can get onto me for. I figure if I get caught it would be better if I don’t get in trouble for anything else. 

    I call the psychic to ask if I can come by tonight with my guest, to which she agreed. With everything taken care of, I find myself bored with nothing to do.  I’m about to settle into my bed and watch TV, when my phone goes off.  Who would be texting me? I barely ever get messages from people. I check it to find that it’s Ezra sending me a message.

Hey! I hope you’re okay! We got a new guy today and the Principal for some ungodly reason chose me to help him around.  I won’t be around in the morning tomorrow, but I’ll see you at lunch. Alright?

                                                                               Yea that’s fine, do what you have to do.  I’ll see you at lunch!

    I toss my phone to the other side of my bed and realize how overly exhausted I am. So much has happened today, I’m not surprised.  My world being completely turned upside down and inside out, what was up is down and down is up, my life is completely different now.  With that last thought, I drift off to a dreamless sleep.