TITLE: BEFORE I BECOME HIS
1092 Words
CHAPTER FIVE
The wedding dress was a weapon.
That was the only explanation.
No sane woman could look at that dress and think romance.
It was beautiful-offensively beautiful.
White silk.
Long sleeves.
A fitted waist that looked designed to remind me I had lungs I needed for breathing.
The neckline was elegant, not dramatic, but somehow it felt more intimate because of it.
It looked like the kind of dress women wore when they still believed in forever.
I stared at it from across my room like it might attack me.
Sophia stood beside me with her arms crossed.
"I hate how gorgeous it is."
"Exactly," I muttered.
"That man is evil."
"Exactly."
She walked closer, touching the fabric gently.
"And annoyingly rich."
"Very exactly."
She sighed dramatically.
"If I hated someone, I'd send them flowers. He sends couture."
I laughed.
A real one.
The first in days.
It surprised both of us.
Sophia smiled softly.
"There you are."
I looked away.
"Don't."
"Don't what?"
"Make me emotional before I sell my soul."
She leaned against the dresser.
"Elena..."
Her voice changed.
Serious now.
Scared.
"You can still stop this."
I stared at the dress.
Could I?
Could I run?
Disappear?
Start over somewhere Roman Volkov had never heard my name?
No.
Because men like Roman don't lose things.
Especially not things they believed belonged to them.
And somehow, terrifyingly, I had become one of those things.
"I can't," I said quietly.
Sophia nodded like she already knew.
"I know."
Then after a pause-
"Do you think he'll love you?"
The question hit harder than expected.
I laughed bitterly.
"Roman Volkov doesn't love. He acquires."
"But what if-"
"No."
I turned to face her.
"This is not a love story, Sophia. It's damage control in expensive shoes."
She didn't argue.
Because deep down, we both knew the truth.
Love had nothing to do with this.
And yet-
why did it hurt like heartbreak?
That evening, Daniel came to see me.
Of course he did.
Because apparently humiliation was a group project.
I found him standing in our garden near the fountain, hands in his coat pockets, looking like a man rehearsing apologies nobody asked for.
I almost turned around.
But closure deserved witnesses.
He looked relieved when he saw me.
"Elena."
I stayed where I was.
"Daniel."
For a moment, neither of us spoke.
Then he said-
"I heard."
I folded my arms.
"People usually do when the city treats your family like entertainment."
His jaw tightened.
"This isn't fair."
I nearly smiled.
"Funny. Everyone keeps saying that while doing unfair things."
He sighed.
"I came because I needed to hear it from you."
"Hear what?"
"That you're really marrying him."
I held his gaze.
"I am."
The words still tasted like poison.
He shook his head.
"No. No, Elena, this is insane. Roman Volkov? Do you even know what he is?"
I stepped closer.
"Do you?"
"Yes."
"Good. Then imagine how desperate I must be."
That shut him up.
For a second.
Then-
"You could've come to me."
I laughed.
Sharp.
Cold.
"I did. Repeatedly. Emotionally. For years."
"Elena-"
"No, let's be honest for once. You didn't leave because my family fell apart. You left because my tragedy became inconvenient for your political future."
"That's not true."
"Isn't it?"
His silence answered.
Coward.
Again.
I nodded slowly.
"Exactly."
His voice dropped.
"I loved you."
Past tense.
Interesting.
I smiled sadly.
"I know. And I think, in your own weak way, maybe you still do."
His eyes darkened.
"Then don't do this."
I stepped closer.
Very close.
And whispered-
"If you loved me enough, I wouldn't have to."
His face broke.
Good.
Let him feel it.
Just once.
Because I had been bleeding alone.
He swallowed hard.
"Does he make you happy?"
I looked past him at the fountain.
At the reflection of a life that no longer existed.
Happy?
No.
Safe?
Also no.
Alive?
Dangerously.
I answered honestly.
"He makes me feel like the ground could disappear at any second."
Daniel frowned.
"That sounds terrible."
I met his eyes.
"It is."
Then after a pause-
"But at least it feels real."
And that was the difference.
Daniel was safety.
Predictable.
Polite.
A future approved by mothers and politicians.
Roman was disaster.
Chaos.
Fire.
The kind of mistake people wrote books about and therapists warned against.
And somehow-
I was walking willingly toward the fire.
Daniel stepped back like he had finally accepted it.
"I hope he deserves you."
I almost said he doesn't.
But the truth was more complicated.
Because Roman was not a man measured by deserving.
He was a man measured by survival.
And somehow, I wasn't sure which of us would survive the other.
When Daniel left, I didn't cry.
Some endings happen long before the goodbye.
At midnight, my phone rang.
Unknown Number.
Again.
I stared at it before answering.
"What now?"
Roman's voice came low and calm.
"You sound disappointed."
"I was hoping for aliens."
A pause.
Then-
"They'd probably return you."
I smiled despite myself.
Dangerous.
Very dangerous.
"Why are you calling?"
Silence.
Then-
"Look outside."
My stomach dropped.
I walked to the window and pulled the curtain back.
There he was.
Leaning against a black car under the streetlights like some expensive warning from the universe.
Black coat.
Hands in pockets.
Looking up at my window like patience itself had decided to wear a face.
I pressed the phone tighter to my ear.
"Are you outside my house?"
"Yes."
"Why?"
His answer came without hesitation.
"I wanted to see if you'd run."
I should hang up.
I absolutely should.
Instead, I asked-
"And if I did?"
His voice lowered.
"I would've followed."
My heart did something stupid.
I hated it.
I whispered-
"That sounds like a threat."
"No."
A pause.
Then-
"A promise."
I stood there, barefoot, in the dark, staring at the man I was going to marry tomorrow.
The man I hated.
The man who terrified me.
The man who somehow made silence feel intimate.
"Roman."
"Yes?"
For the first time, my voice shook.
Not from fear.
From something worse.
Honesty.
"What happens if I ruin you?"
He looked up at my window.
Straight at me.
Like he could see through walls.
And his answer came like a vow.
"Then at least I was ruined by something beautiful."
And just like that-
sleep became impossible again.
Because tomorrow,
I was going to marry the devil.
And the worst part?
A part of me was already wondering what kissing him would feel like.
- Writer
