Thorns of White Rose

Chapter 18 - The Animosity

Out of all the decisions I have made in life, sleeping with my professor was the only one I regret. Alcohol cannot be blamed for it. So when Monday came, I don’t know how to act.

The first period just finished that day when it becomes noisy in our group chat. My heartbeat went wild when I read Kale’s name. He has been texting me all day yesterday, but I can’t bring myself to reply back. I don’t know what to say.

“Why did Professor Kale suddenly resign?” Aubrey turned to me as soon as she read the chaos in the GC. And why is she asking me that? I suddenly want to be defensive but I am guilty so I might end up making nonsense comments.

He really resigned. My hand was shaking when I opened the message from Kale. I can still remember vividly what happened that night. His last message was sent yesterday at 8 PM saying he wants to talk.

I know he mentioned that he can just turned in his resignation, but this is still shocking. I don’t want him to resign. Now, I feel like we really need to talk in person to set this straight. What have we done?

“Are you alright, Laurian?” Aubrey leaned on my desk and placed the bank of his palm on my forehead as if checking my temperature.

I had to fake a laugh and made it sound like nothing serious is happening so she won’t worry. I cannot even tell her anything right now because this is disgusting. She won’t believe what I just did.

(Let’s talk when you’re free. You didn’t have to resign.) That’s just a simple message but my hands were shaking while typing and hitting the send button.

It didn’t take a minute before he replied.

“I am available the whole day. Just let me know your free time.” I need to train my heart to calm down when it comes to him because this much of intense reaction is not safe. My heart is always excited for him.

I took a deep sigh and replied that we can meet during lunch. That’s my only free time today. I want to go home as soon as my last class ends to do paper works. He agreed to meet in his faculty room so we can talk.

The secretary let me in. She seems to be headed out for lunch too. My eyes scanned the room as soon as I closed the door. He’s alone there looking seriously on the screen of his laptop.

“You’re here.” He took a deep sigh and a wide smile showed on his face. I cannot look him straight in the face or eyes, so I looked at his table while delivering my message without any nonsense.

“I’ll be straightforward, let’s forget what happened the other night. It means… nothing to me. Don’t resign because it will make me feel guilty, and I want to forget about it. L-let’s be cool with what happened, okay?” I still refused to look at his eyes so I don’t know how he reacted to that. But I can tell my heart is rushing again, I hope he doesn’t notice.

“Look at me,” he gently said. I remained staring at his table which I’m sure made him annoyed. He stood from his swivel chair and took steps to close the distance between us. I wanted to run away when his perfume started hugging me. I cannot let me emotions win this time.

“You won’t even look at me. How are we supposed to be cool with what happened?” His voice is serious. For the life of me, I cannot look at his eyes right now. I was brave enough to meet him but not his eyes.

I took a deep sigh and tried to still act calm despite the rush of my heartbeat.

“There’s just 2 months left before the sem is over. After this, we won’t see each other again, so there’s no need for you to leave. W-we can just avoid each other…” I bite my lower lip when he cuts me off. His gently cupped my chin to lift my face but I immediately pushed away his hand.

“I don’t want to hide what we have. There is no way I will let you forget what we did. We both liked it… very much.” He’s trying so hard to make me look at him but I won’t.

“I’m asking you nicely, Kale. Let’s finish the semester quietly. I… am not ready for anything that you want. I want to focus on my studies. Being in a relationship is not in my plans.” I felt butterfly in my stomach when he passed by to go behind me. He seemed really stress from I just said.

It took a minute before he replied. He’s behind me and probably staring at me too. I just don’t want to feel anything at that moment. We should fix this in thew way that won’t ruin our lives.

“I understand that my resignation might have shocked you. But that decision is voluntary. I don’t want to put you in awkward situations after what happened. I plan to focus in my job as well as Vice Chairman of our company as well. This is not a loss from my end. We can move more freely if I leave.”

“As long as I am still here in Stallion, I will never consider you anything more more than a professor. I’ll take the blame for what happened that night. Don’t ever talk about it again or don’t use it against me. If you still want to leave then go ahead. Nothing will change with how I look at you as my professor. And also, I refuse to accept your birthday gift to me. It’s too expensive, I don’t want it.” It’s a limited edition watch from luxurious brand. That is something I cannot accept from him.

He gave a sarcastic laugh. I want to turn around so bad and watch his annoyed expression but that won’t be good for my sanity.

“Okay. So I guess not being ready is just your excuse to turn me down… even after sleeping with me.” My knees almost gave up on me when he emphasized the last words. He’s not agreeing to what I said to not use what happened against me.

“Kale…”

“Laurian, I understand that you’re afraid of the consequences of being with me. You’re afraid of the reactions of your blockmates or other Stallion students. I understand. So I want us to meet halfway on this. I will pursue you, and you can decide if I stay or leave. Whichever is comfortable with you, that would be fine with me.” I rolled my eyes even I know he cannot see.

I turned around to face him and meet his eyes. Even he makes my heart race, I will not risk my scholarship for him.

“We cannot seem to agree with each other. It’s fine. Let’s just do our thing then. I will do what I want and you do what you want. I hope you don’t feel special, I can sleep with any man I want.” His jaw clenched with the last sentence but it’s fine. It’s better to hurt each other than to resort to stupid relationship.

I walked passed him, but he still whispered something under his breath.

“Alright, agree to do what each other wants. But be careful with what you say or do, Laurian. I can get wicked when triggered. I’ll see you around.” His eyes were fierce when I last look at them. All I have to do now is make him give up on me. That’s possible if I get myself a real boyfriend. Anyone but him is okay. I don’t want any rumor that will taint my name forever.

In the afternoon, the group chat became a mess again. Everyone was celebrating when they learned that Kale’s resignation was fake news. He gave me an answer within the day. He can resign and go back to his position any time, he’s showing how powerful he is. But I will not be intimidated anymore. I need to finish my college and land a good job for my aunt. That also means saying no to all distractions.

The following days are quiet. There is no messages from Kale. I was able to focus on finishing my papers and reviewing for the bunch of quizzes that week. The Bohol Outreach will kick off on Saturday, so I had to turn in all assignments and requirements due on the weekend as early as Friday.

“I need a lot of sunscreen!!! I can’t believe you signed me up to that outreach activity without my consent!” Aubrey has been nagging me about it for a week now. I listed her as volunteer to complete the number of participants. I also asked for her parents’ permission and they agreed that it would be a good experience for her. Her bodyguards will still tag along though. Wherever she goes outside the campus, she has to be watched by her bodyguards.

“There will be many varsities joining.” She gave me an annoyed look.

“I will not ever date a varsity again! Fvcking cheaters.” She hasn’t moved on from her ex yet she was kissing with the guy she just met on my party.

“Alright. But this will be an adventure. I really look forward to traveling with you. We can walk on the beach at night and talk about how stressful this year has been. Or we can just go restaurant hopping, or get a tattoo there, right?” We’re on our way to our first class that Friday afternoon and she’s still fussing about having to get up early tomorrow.

I opened the door at the front of our classroom and everyone looked at us. My eyes widened when I saw Kale already starting the lecture. I looked at my watch, it’s 1:06 PM already. We didn’t notice the time.

“S-sorry for being late.” I said as I walked fast to my seat. Kale waited for us both to settle down before he resumed with the lecture. I can feel that this will end in another surprise quiz. It’s obvious that he’s in a bad mood. We are starting to get used to his tone. I can tolerate this for the next 2 months. He can just hate me.

He’s easy to read. Today’s lecture really ended with a quiz. It’s easier compared to last week.

“He’s been moody these past few weeks.” Aubrey murmured when we’re about to check the papers. I looked at kale’s direction and he’s looking at our way. I hope he didn’t hear what Aubrey just said even it’s true.

“For those volunteering in the outreach activity tomorrow, make sure not to be late. This is a gentle reminder that call time is 5 AM.” I snorted. This is the first time I was late to his class and he’s acting all childish. In our class, only me and Aubrey are joining so his statement is basically pointed to us.

He said goodbye to the class and I can finally breathe in ease. I took my phone out to message Brynne. He asked me to pick up the plane ticket from the SC Office yesterday but I forgot to drop by. I replied to him saying I will pick it up today with Aubrey.

The day ended peacefully. There’s so much work to do, but at least I don’t have to worry about distractions anymore. Cutting off people works.

Aubrey slept over at my place. That’s the only way she can get up at 3 to be ready for 5 AM call time at the campus.

“What the hell? How did you purchase this? This is limited edition, Laury!! And the design is inspired by our fave band!! You sly girl!! How did you get this?” She suddenly started screaming when she entered in my room. My heart stopped for a while when I saw her holding the box of watch from Kale.

“Ahm, put it down. That’s not mine.” I said calmly. I haven’t returned it because I don’t want to talk with him again. I just need to gather my courage to go to his office and place it on his table with a note.

Aubrey was so excited that she tried it on even I told her not to touch it. She was begging me all night to sell it to her, but I kept insisting it’s not mine. She asked me for the owner’s name so she can negotiate. But I don’t really entertain her. She needs to sleep and I need to overthink how Kale managed to find out about my favorite band. I didn’t know the design is inspired by them.