One Night Stand, Then My Mate

What do I do?

We’ve reached the rooftop with my peanut butter and jelly sandwich and Ben Stevens. The man I don’t know. The same man who helped me through my panic attack and who is now supposed to be following me around for two whole weeks.

I take a seat near the edge of the roof and let me feet dangle off. From another persons perspective this may seem dangerous or even risky, but to me it’s comforting. I can tell that Ben isn’t getting the same comfort by my sitting on the edge because he’s still standing behind me. Taking in the view.

Really there isn’t much of a view, it’s really just really tall trees and twinkling stars. And a helipad on the opposite side of the building. I clear my throat while unwrapping my sandwich, “Are you going to join me or just stand there and look at the trees?” I say it with a small laugh because he’s acting like he’s never seen redwoods before.

I can’t really blame him, when I first came up here the view was immaculate. “Yes, sorry, i just haven’t seen anything quit like this.” Ben says with a brush of his beard. He’s got such a nice full beard. “No, i totally get it, i was the same way my first time coming up here. It’s different. It’s weird how things can look so differently from another perspective.”

My mom used to say things like that all the time. I really miss her. “So why do you feel the need to sit on the furthest edge to eat your lunch? Are you a thrill seeker?” He’s laughing at me, but truth be told, i love being on the edge. I love feeling like I could fall at any given moment. I love feeling like I’m not in control of a situation. I could fall forward. It’s a possibility and honestly I’m not scared if I do.

“Well, you could die anywhere. You could die on the toilet, or getting out of your car or even in your sleep. So why not sit on the edge of a 20 story building while eating a sandwich?” I really hope he doesn’t think I’m some whack job that belongs on the psych floor. “Hmm, well, I guess you’re not wrong. You’re different dr smith. Unlike anyone I’ve ever met”

I don’t know why he was expecting to understand me. We don’t know each other to expect any differently. For example, he’s handsome, he’s got some of the prettiest blue eyes I’ve ever seen, he’s tall (could be a NBA player), he’s got an athletic build. He could be an actor, but he works in a hospital as a nurse sewing up cuts and scrapes and doing CPR.

“Tell me a little about yourself Ben Stevens” i say to him as curious as a cat. He stokes his beard again before answering. If he does that again I’ll come unglued. It’s so….hot. “Well, im from Arizona, i was born and raised there. I graduated high school, then went on to college in Arizona and truthfully, i had no idea what I wanted to do. i just got my basics until I knew what I wanted to do. I worked in a factory until about two years ago. Um, I have a son, he’s four and absolutely amazing. His mother died shortly after having him. She had preeclampsia and I had no idea what that was. I wanted so badly to help her in that moment, but i couldn’t. That’s part of why I became a nurse. After she passed, I went to nursing school, and after I graduated, me and my son moved here. My mom lives here and um, yeah, that’s all I’ve got” he gives me a soft smile.

I’m trying so hard to take in all that information. Who would’ve known? “So, you have an amazing four year old son? What’s his name?” I smile at him because I’m intrigued. I truly am. I can only imagine how beautiful his babies are. He arches one of his thick eyebrows and his blue eyes are gleaming, his skin is glowing. His son is the light of his life. “His name is Sebastian. Sebastian Hayes.” I smile so big. Actually showing my teeth. That’s such a beautiful name and I want to pry more, but before I even ask he’s pulling out his phone to show me pictures of him.

He’s got brown curly hair, sage green eyes, two dimples, and the cutest button nose. His skin is an ivory skin tone. The best one to have in my opinion. Any color would look great on him. He looks a lot like his dad. He’s beautiful. “He’s absolutely beautiful, Ben.” He blushes because he knows. “Thank you. He’s my everything.. Now, it’s your turn Doctor Smith. Tell me about yourself”

“Hmm, well my name is Caroline Smith. I’m a doctor. I have a sister, she’s a year and three months younger than I am. I didn’t have a dad. My mom told me he preferred to work over being in anyone else’s life. So he was a workaholic that I haven’t seen since I was six. My mom is great..was great. She was an anesthesiologist here at this hospital. She was caring and kind. She was great at being both mom and dad. She died a few months ago to cancer. It was unexpected and inoperable. Her death was fast. After she passed, my sister moved away to Oregon. She just met the love of her life. His name is Adam, he’s great too. They just got engaged.”

“And have you met the love of your life?” His reply shocks me. That’s the only question he has? Oh god how do i answer that? Have I? Yes, maybe? I don’t know. “Well, I have met someone, but he was in a car accident and is in a coma. His doctors aren’t sure he will ever wake up. So i can’t really answer your question. We had only been dating for a couple of weeks before his accident.”

The look of remorse fills his cheeks and eyes. He’s regretting asking me. “I’m so sorry. For him and your mom. I hope you’ll forgive me for prying?” But truthfully, i don’t mind his questions. It makes me think of my situation a little bit more. So i ask him an uncomfortable question, “have you dated since your wife?” His eyes pull to mine, we stare at each other for what feels like an eternity. I could stare at you for a lifetime. I shake my head from my thoughts and break our gaze.

“I haven’t dated since Charlene. And we weren’t married. We had planned on it after we had Sebastian, but you know. We had been dating for almost a year when Sebastian was conceived. We were so happy. I had always wanted to be a dad, and she had the same dream of being a mom.” They were never married.. oh my god. “Now, I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have asked you that.” He laughs, and brushes his beard again. Why is that so sexy?

I finish my last bite of my sandwich and crumble up the plastic wrap and slowly stand up. He grabs my hand to assist me and it feels like I got electrocuted. The energy between us is different. After I’m standing all the way back up, i slowly move my hand up his arm and to his shoulder. He’s so muscular. So solid. He looks at me deep into my eyes and grins.

I take a step back “we should get back down there and get to work, you coming?” He laughs and heads back to the elevator. I walk in first and he puts his hand on my lower back again. It’s so hot out here. It sends shivers up my spine. How does his touch do this to me? We’re inside the elevator enjoying the utter silence. The pull between the two of us is getting stronger by the second. I don’t know what it is about elevators, but I want him to push me against this wall and kiss me. I want it so badly. But this is my work place. That cant..

He walks toward me so fast and presses me against the elevator wall, slides his hands up to my neck to to the back of my head. His hands explore my hair as his mouth connects to mine. He parts my lips with his tongue and i let out a small moan into his mouth. His tongue explored mine and mine to his. It’s so magical and i don’t want it to end. He pulls away, just as the elevator dings and we’re to our floor. His back is to the opposite side of the elevator and we’re both trying to calm our breaths. I step out first adjusting my scrubs and head to the nurses station, and just as I make way, his hand is on my lower back again. HOLY HELL