My ex is my soulmate

Chapter two - Last day with my friends

Austin's POV:

My name is Austin Lee and I am 19 years old. I graduated from high school and soon I will start my first year at university. I chose to study art, because I like it and also because it helps me to express myself better. If I can't say something with words, I can draw it. Well, I am not that good, but I think that I'm not bad either. The teachers will tell me. I have a couple of friends who I have to leave. It's not like I want to, but all of us want different careers. Maybe I can find new ones at university. If I have luck, I can get a girlfriend or at least someone to occupy me. Let's be honest. This will never happen. I dated a girl named Ally. She was my first girlfriend. I let one stupid argument win and now we are separated. It's not like I wanted this, and I'm sure that she too. Ally was the best thing that has ever happened to me. The worst of all is that I still have feelings for her. To be honest, they never left. I realized what had happened when I said the horrible things to her, but it was too late. I have already lost her. I miss her every single day, but I can't call her. Probably she is still mad at me and with the right. I hurt her a lot and don't deserve her to accept my apology. Maybe that is better. Ally deserves someone better than me. Someone who will take care of her and never argue. I guess that it was for the best, no matter that I don't like it. 

I am on my bed, playing video games alone. Later, I will go out with my friends. Some of them have girlfriends so they will come with us. It's not like I mind it. I am happy for them. At least they are happy. I wish that I could be. Well, I was, but I lost everything. For the last three months, I have been distracted with whatever I find, but it's not helping. I even tried to go out with girls, but this only made it worse. Whenever I was looking at a girl, I was seeing Ally. None of them looked like her, but the memories were hitting hard. 

I went to my nightstand and pulled out the photo frame from the drawer. We took it at school dances. They were the last of our junior year. I can still feel her kiss on my lips. Damn it! Why does it have to hurt so badly? Usually, people move on fast, but I can't. Three months had passed since we broke up, but there wasn't a day in which I wasn't thinking about her. I can talk with her, but she is probably preparing for university, so now it's not the right time. Let's hope that the new place will help me to move on. I still don't know who my roommate will be. Well, whoever he is, I hope that he knows how to chill. 

I left the picture where it was and laid on my bed. I closed my eyes and all the memories came. I hate that I love her so much. Soon there was a knock on the door, and I felt how someone sat on my bed. I looked up and saw that Dani and Jenny were there. I smiled at them and they returned it. 

- Man, you need to stop thinking about her. 

- I have to agree with Dani. This is not helping you. 

- It's easier said than done. 

- Why don't you call her?

- How am I supposed to? Do you think that she will talk with me after all the horrible things which I said to her?

- You never know. - Dani said

- No, I can't do that. 

- Let's not think about this and enjoy our last day together. After one day, we are going to university, and I need some positive vibes. 

- Ok, what do you want us to do? - Dani asked her

- Why don't we go out? We can go for some drinks or a walk. 

- I am up for it. If Austin wants.

- I don't mind. 

Like that, all of us walked out. We walked to a diner and ordered food and drinks. Well, I ordered only a milkshake. I'm not much in the mood for whatever it is. I won't tell them that Ally and I used to come here very often. They are trying everything to cheer me up, and I appreciate it. Soon the rest of our friends came. I rested my head on the window and let everything come. I won't cry, because I am a boy, but I won't lie that it hurts me. I would do anything to go back in time and stop myself from saying all of these things, but I know that I can't. 

- Austin. Hello. 

- What?

- I was calling you, but you didn't hear me. 

- I'm sorry. 

- Stop thinking about her. This is not helping you and you know it. - Dani said

- But I can't.

- Why?

- Because I love her! - I said and walked away

I walked to the nearest park and sat under a tree. I never told the truth to my friends, because there was no point. Moreover, they have always told me to forget her. Telling them that I still have feelings for her won't help. They are the best friends for which I can have, but Ally is also important to me. Too much if you ask me. I need to move on, but I can't. Something is pulling me back. I looked up and saw my friends coming. All of them sat around me. 

- Hey, are you ok? - Jenny asked me

- Yes, I'm fine. 

- Man, I'm sorry about that. Why didn't you tell us that you still have feelings for her?

- Because this won't change anything. I already f*cked up everything. 

- If you still love her, don't give up. Find a way to talk with her. There is no need to do it face to face. Call her, leave her a message, or whatever it is. - Ashley said

- It's too late. She is probably at her university. 

- So? Don't give up so easily. - Jenny said

- You know what? I won't think about that. After one day is my flight, so I will focus on that. Our relationship was impossible. 

- How can you say this? Especially after everything that happened between you two. You were so happy when both of you were still together. 

- It doesn't matter. This is in the past. 

- Ok, let's go and do something. - Jake said

- I suggest video games. - Dani said

- And what do we have to do? - Ashley asked

- You can gossip or do your usual things. 

- Boys. - both Jenny and Ashley said in sync

All of us walked back home. I gave the boys controllers and we started playing. My parents bought me a PlayStation for my graduation. I had one, but it was two years old. It's not like I was complaining. It was doing a good job. The boys and I were always using it. According to my parents, I have to be modern and updated. It was strange said by them, but I appreciate the present. After all, it's not cheap. 

- I see that you are ready for your flight. - Dani said

- Yes, I almost packed everything. Tomorrow I will put the rest of my things. 

- Do you know who your roommate will be? - Jake asked

- I don't know. I'll see him when I go there. I hope that he is a chill guy. 

- What if it's a girl?

- No chance. I don't think that they will let boys and girls in one room. 

- Yeah. Maybe he will be your new best friend. 

The boys and I played a couple of games while the girls were talking. I invited them to stay for dinner, but they all denied it. I guess that they already have plans. Well, I can't tell them what to do. I decided to take a nap, but I couldn't. In the moment I closed my eyes, she came into my mind. I don't know what is going on with me today. Usually, I don't think about her that much, but today is probably one of my worst days since we broke up. I took my phone and opened my gallery. I still haven't deleted the pictures of her. If I have to be honest, I didn't want to do it. While I was looking through them, I felt tears in my eyes. I miss her like crazy. 

Later, my mom came into the room. I looked at the clock on my phone and saw that it was dinner time. She looked at me and immediately understood that there was a problem. 

- Honey, what's wrong? Why are you so upset? 

- No, I'm not. I just woke up a while ago. 

- Austin, you know that you can't lie to me. Is it because of Ally?

I didn't say anything and only nodded my head. Mom grabbed my hands and pulled me for a hug. I won't lie that this is exactly what I need now. 

- I have said this, and I will say it again. If you miss her so much, call her. She might not want to talk with you, but at least you will know the truth. 

- She won't talk with me. 

- This is what you think, but this doesn't mean that it's true. 

- If it wasn't, she should've called up by now. 

- It's not like you did it. 

- What do you mean?

- You are accusing Ally of not calling you, but you didn't do it as well. Maybe she doesn't know what to tell you or needs some time. 

- I don't care. I won't think about her. 

- What did you say?

- That I won't think about her.

- Make sure that you believe yourself because I don't. 

- Can we talk about something else?

- Sure. I hope that when you go to university, there you will find people who will help you move on. 

- I will. You don't have to worry about me. 

- How am I not supposed to? Every day you are upset because of her. I told you to do something, but you didn't want to listen to me. Now, it's too late for physical contact. 

- Why?

- Because she is going to university. Ally won't stay here and wait until you finally decide to call her. She has a life. The same is for you. 

- I know. Maybe it's not meant to be. 

- I don't think so. 

- Why? Because I still care about her. 

- Yes and no. I know that you care about her, but you were so happy when both of you were still together. I have seen you around girls, but none of them made you feel the same way as Ally. She had a special effect on you. 

- She did. I can't deny it. 

- Look, I know that it's hard for you, but you have only two options. To call her or to move on. You can't keep hurting yourself. It's not healthy for you. 

- I will try. 

- Which of the two things?

- To move on. It won't be easy, but I will try. 

- Do what is best for you. Now let's go to eat. Your dad is probably waiting for us. 

Mom is right. I have to do something. I want to move on, but I am scared that I will forget her, and I don't want this to happen. She is the best thing that has happened to me. No matter how much time passes, I still won't be able to move on completely. It will take me time to look at another girl and see her, not Ally. I don't know why it is taking me so long. I am a boy, and usually, we are supposed to take break-ups, easier. Well, I guess that every boy reacts differently. Maybe one day, I will be able to get my life together and start from the beginning. For now, I will try not to think so much about Ally and focus on university.