LOVING MY BROTHER'S RIVAL

The Choice Between Us

Chapter 3

The lecture hall was already half full when I slipped into my usual seat near the middle of the third row. Betty had saved the chair beside me and was scrolling through notes on her tablet, muttering about electrolyte balances.

I dropped my bag beside my chair, took out my materials, and glanced around the room.

A man in a dark charcoal suit sat in the last row, one ankle resting on his opposite knee. He looked completely at ease, dressed far too formally for a campus where most students wore jeans and sneakers. His suit was well-fitted, his white shirt crisp, and his hair neatly combed back.

Then he turned his head.

Shane.

My heart skipped a beat. I quickly faced forward, almost knocking my pen off the desk.

Betty glanced at me but seemed to notice nothing unusual before returning to her tablet.

The professor began discussing differential diagnoses in acute trauma, and I tried to concentrate on the lecture. I copied the notes from the slides, but my mind kept drifting to the man sitting behind me.

Jonathan's words kept coming back to me.

Choose.

I wrote down things I would probably have to read twice to understand later.

When the lecture ended, I packed my things slowly, hoping Shane would leave before I did.

He didn't.

Betty touched my elbow. "Are you okay? You look pale."

"I'm fine. Just tired."

She studied me for a moment before pointing toward the door.

"I'll save us a table in the cafeteria. Don't take too long."

I waited until most of the students had left before getting up. By the time I reached the exit, Shane was already there.

He stepped into the doorway at the same time I did, shifting slightly to block my path without making a scene.

Up close, his suit looked even better. The charcoal fabric fitted him perfectly, and his shirt was unbuttoned at the collar. He wasn't wearing a tie.

He also smelled like the cologne he usually wore when we went out on his bike, though today it seemed a little sharper.

"I get the feeling you're avoiding me, Rissa."

He was the only person apart from my mother who called me that.

I kept my expression neutral. "I'm not. I just need time to focus on my professional exam."

"Is that all?"

"Yes."

He didn't look convinced. His dark eyes stayed on mine, as though he was waiting for me to admit something.

I still hadn't told him about Jonathan's ultimatum. I hadn't told him that my last name connected me to everything his past self had done.

I couldn't bring myself to explain any of it. Once I told him the truth, there would be no taking it back. Besides, the twenty-four hours the Dean had given me were already running out.

"I can see it in your eyes," Shane said. "There's something else."

I raised both hands and placed them against his chest, hoping to create some distance between us. I was prepared to push him away if I had to, but I didn't.

His suit felt different from the leather jackets I was used to touching. Beneath the smooth fabric, his chest was warm and solid.

I looked up at him.

"Why are you all dressed up like this?"

He straightened his lapel before slipping both hands into his pockets.

"Yesterday, I thought you were embarrassed by me. So I decided to dress up."

A short laugh escaped me before I could stop it.

I hadn't expected that answer, and judging by his expression, neither had he expected me to laugh.

Then the corner of his mouth lifted.

"See? I knew it. You were embarrassed."

I waved my hands in front of me. "Not at all! I love you better when you're all gangster and daring."

The words left my mouth before I had time to think.

Then everything went quiet.

Shane's expression changed. His usual confidence faltered, and he stood a little straighter. For a moment, he looked almost unsure of himself.

I noticed immediately.

"Did I say something wrong?"

He didn't answer.

He simply stared at me, and I began to wonder if I'd crossed a line without realizing it.

After a few seconds, he spoke.

"How much do you mean that?"

His voice was quieter than before.

I frowned slightly, confused by the question. But there was something so serious about his expression that I answered honestly.

"I mean it."

"Don't you ever go back on your words."

His response caught me off guard.

"What do you mean?"

He held my gaze.

"You said you love me."

My stomach tightened.

My hands were still resting against his chest, and I could feel him breathing beneath them.

I hadn't meant the words the way he understood them.

Or maybe I had.

I didn't know anymore.

For three months, I'd kept our relationship a secret. I'd made excuses to spend more time with him, taken the longer route home just to stay on his bike a little longer, and deleted messages before Jonathan could see them.

I'd spent all that time refusing to admit what I felt.

Now, I'd said it without thinking, and Shane had taken me seriously.

Jonathan's ultimatum came back to me.

The Dean's folder. The twenty-four-hour deadline. My professional exams in two weeks.

I had too much to lose, and I still hadn't made my choice.

Shane kept his hands in his pockets, watching me.

He wasn't asking me to explain myself. He wasn't trying to force an answer out of me.

He was waiting for me to either stand by my words or take them back.

I opened my mouth, but nothing came out.

I couldn't tell him who I really was, what his name meant to my brother, or why being with him had suddenly become more complicated than either of us understood.

So I did the only thing I could manage.

I lowered my hands and stepped away from him.

"I have a statement to write for the Dean," I said quietly. "Someone reported that the Spikes were on campus. They're threatening to revoke my admission."

His expression hardened.

"Because of me."

"Because of the attention."

He nodded slowly.

"I'll handle it."

"You can't just—"

"I can." His tone was firm. "You focus on your exam."

I wanted to tell him that it wasn't that simple.

Jonathan would see any attempt to interfere as another reason to come after me. The choice I'd been avoiding was still waiting for me, and now Shane believed I loved him.

Those words meant more than I could afford to admit.

But I said nothing.

I only nodded.

Shane stepped aside, finally giving me room to leave.

As I passed him, he spoke again, his voice low enough that no one else could hear.

"I meant what I said, Rissa. Don't go back on your words."

I kept walking.

The corridor was bright, and students were still moving between classrooms as though nothing had happened.

But I couldn't stop thinking about what I'd just said.

I had barely reached the corner when the realization hit me.

I love you better when you're all gangster and daring.

Holy s**t.

He'd heard only the first three words.

And I wasn't sure I could take them back, even if I wanted to.