A Killer CEO

The Struggle

I'm running from something, struggling to get away but everything is making me slower. A growling sound from behind me approaches and as it closes in I scream. Jolting up in my bed I try to calm my breathing. The dreams are back.

It had been a couple of days since having that dream. I have been having the same dream since I was 17 which gets tiring after 4 years.

It's still as scary as when it started. I am always caught. I never seem to get away from the monster. I lay there staring at the ceiling. Hoping to nod back off. Bella snuggles closer to me sensing distress, I turn on the tv hoping to find something relaxing to be able to sleep again. I finally found an old movie and watched it. Kissing Bella quickly and covering back up with my blanket. Laying back I get comfortable and slowly drift back to sleep. I awake again to the sound of my alarm screaming and Bella licking my face. “I'm up, I'm up” she jumps off the bed and runs around the house. I check my phone seeing that I have an email. From Michael Tobias. What does he want? I click on the message…

Dear Ms. Rose,

I heard that you are scheduled to come in and start training. I feel you will be an excellent addition to our team. I trust that you know what being a personal secretary means and I hope that you are ready. What we do here at Tobias Enterprises is of the utmost importance and secrecy. I look forward to seeing you.

--M. Tobias

My heart starts to race… I let Bella outside and drink some water. What is that supposed to mean? I look forward to seeing you. In his big intimidating voice. Stupid man. I stand there baffled trying to figure out how to reply. All I can muster up is . Go screw yourself 1. For making me think that I was less because I have tattoos and then sending that message. I scoff. Okay maybe I'm overreacting. But how am I supposed to reply to that email?

Hey thanks for making me feel like nothing. I can't wait to work for you. Because it's really my only option.

Signed, Are you flirting with me?

I quickly erase what I typed and begin again.

Hello Mr. Tobias,

Yes I am scheduled to start training. I cannot express how thankful I am that you have given me the job. I look forward to learning about your company and how I can be a part of such a great team of individuals. Once again thank you for your decision. I will not let you down.

Signed,

Ariya Rose

I roll my eyes to myself. This is the stupidest email I have ever written. Hopefully he won't fire me for how bad it is. Haha. Oh well. I hit send.

Bella scratches at the back door and I let her inside and put her in her kennel. “I'm sorry Bella, mommy has stuff to do and I don't want you destroying the house” I blow her a kiss and walk off to my room to get ready for the day. Getting ready I decide that before my errands I need a walk. Maybe it will help me. I sigh. Looking in the mirror. That was a mistake.

I should never eat again. That would be great. I put my earbuds in, grabbed a water bottle and started off. I look outside and it's cloudy with the smell of freshly fallen rain in the air.

I walk down the street watching the world around me. The clouds are moving overhead. I decide I need coffee. Walking into a coffee shop not too far from my house.

I stop dead in my tracks. I see Michael at the counter ordering a coffee. I look around and crush my arms into my chest. I pinch myself to make sure I'm not dreaming and sure enough I'm not. Just my luck.

I try to keep my cool ignoring him and maybe he won't see me. He turns around and sees me. Slowly a smile grows on his face. Reaching all the way to his gorgeous blue green eyes unlike yesterday in his cold office. “Ariya, it's so nice to see you. I wanted to talk to you”

“Hi. Yeah sure. Can I grab a coffee first?” “Absolutely, I would be dead without coffee” he laughs and then begins to speak again “ let me buy your coffee for you”

“I can get it. It's okay”

“I insist” uhhhhhm. Shoot me now. Please.

“Okay. Thank you. That's very sweet” I walk up and order with him next to me and he pays. The whole time the barista is staring him down like he is a burger and she is starving.

I look at him trying to see if he has noticed and he is looking at me. I blush....I sigh.

Grab my coffee and try to avoid looking at him.

“Here we can sit here” he pulls out a chair in the corner far away from the wandering eyes of people in the shop.

“I feel like you may have the wrong impression about me Ms. Rose, you see when you came into my office I saw a strong woman who has been through a lot and belongs to my team” I choke a little.

“You see Mr. Tobias, I understand that, I was just under the impression that you weren't going to hire me because of my tattoos. I have had so many people judge me based on something that helps me show who I really am and what challenges I have faced.” I look at my coffee steam slowly billowing off the hot liquid.

“Then I am sorry to say Ms. Rose but you have it completely wrong. I do not judge based on what someone looks like. I look at the experience, you out of all those other candidates had the most impressive resume.” I scoff. All of those other women were there and he chose me…Yeah and I moonlight as a superhero on the weekends...

They all were more attractive and had to have better references. All I had was a job I held for a while that I literally put my everything into.

“I want you to understand that my company means a lot to me and when looking at who to hire and where to go next I think what would my parents want, what would be the best decision and at this point hiring you was the best decision.” He looked down and intertwined his long fingers.

I look down pondering what to say next.

“Well thank you for doing so. You really were my last option as far as what to do. And I'm sorry if I made you question if hiring me was a good idea. I really should be off. I have a lot to complete today. Thank you so much for the coffee” I say, finishing off the cup and rising out of my chair. “Wait Ms. Rose, don't leave yet.” A pleading look in his eyes.

“I really should, I have quite a few things to do today”

“well if you must.” Sadness took over his expression. Why would he be sad? It was just coffee…. I shake his hand and walk out not looking back for fear I may not be able to leave if I do. But I can feel his pleading eyes following me.

I hurry home and change into my clothes for the day, get into my car and drive to the store. I'm standing in the floral department zoning out thinking about my future and what is in store. Grabbing purple roses and a few other essentials and I head to checkout. I feel like a zombie. I begin driving fast down the road. Pulling into a cemetery I head down the path and park. I sit in my car for a few seconds pondering if I should do this.

But ignoring self doubt I get out and walk over to my mother's grave. Sitting right in front. I begin talking as if she was sitting in front of me.

“Hi mom, I just wanted to tell you that I got the job. You probably already know. But I wanted to be the one to tell you first. It's really hard without you...but you probably know that too” I put the flowers down removing the dead ones from someone else who visited.

“I want to believe that I am good enough for this. But I am having a really hard time. I had so many plans. And then I lost you and it felt like my whole world fell apart and I refuse to believe that it was some robbery gone wrong. I know you are with me. And I know I am always supposed to remember how much you love me but sometimes I feel so alone and don't know if I have what it takes to continue on without you.” A silent tear streaks the skin of my cheek.

“I'm sorry I haven't visited before this. I have been kind of busy, trying to take care of some things. I have just been so scared to know that all this is real.” I pick at the grass. Feeling the wind kiss my skin I shudder from the cold and imagine that my mother would be telling me I should have worn a jacket and that it's winter for god's sake.

I smile to myself, wiping the tears off my cheeks and pulling myself together. “I love you mom. Forever and ever” I place my hand on her headstone and rise.

“I'll be back soon” I kiss the top and walk back to my car. Sitting in my car a weight is slowly lifting off my heart. Being able to talk to my mother even if she doesn't talk back gives me a little light in my everlasting darkness. I check my makeup in the mirror and I shrug feeling like someone is watching me but as I look around I see no one...

Why do I always look like a mess? Starting my car I drive home to grab Bella so I can take her for a walk.

“Do you want to go for a walk Ella Bella” wagging her tail I give her a quick kiss and place her in the passenger seat. Running around I quickly hop in and head to the park. Arriving I grab Bella's leash and we walk around the lake.

I think about my mother and tomorrow and all the uncertain things in my life. It's going to be stressful starting this new job and why did she have to leave so soon and why haven't the cops found the guys who broke in... A feeling of fear grows in the pit of my stomach. Clearing my mind I stop at a bench and look up to the sky watching birds fly overhead and listening to the sounds of leaves rustling in the trees.

I can smell rain coming as I see dark clouds in the sky approaching. I could just sit here and watch life forever. I sigh.

Checking the time I realized we have been sitting here for 2 hours.

Bella is asleep next to me when she looks up at me as if saying it is time to go. I pat her head and we get in my car and head home. Laying in bed that night I feel antsy watching the clock slowly changing.

....If I go to sleep now I can get 8 hours of sleep before work tomorrow. And it continues to count down when I drift off. I believe it was closer to 11 that I finally fell asleep but for a while I was just staring at the ceiling dreading the next morning.