The Alpha's Secret

Chapter 4: A Decision

Chapter Four

Thea

I pushed myself up from the ground, painfully aware that everyone was staring at me in complete shock. All I wanted to do was disappear.

I turned towards Alaric, and my heart sank at the sight of him. He looked furious with me, and honestly, I couldn't blame him. Whatever had just happened, I had somehow managed to interrupt one of the most important moments of his life.

But I was just as confused as everyone else.

One minute, I had been running towards his wolf, desperate to reach him, and the next, I was lying beneath his naked body.

What in the name of the goddess had just happened?

“Oh, my goddess! Are you okay?” Dhalia asked, wrapping an arm around my shoulders and gently steering me away from the gathering.

I kept my eyes fixed on the ground as we walked, unable to bear the thought of looking at the faces surrounding us. Unfortunately, lowering my gaze did nothing to stop me from hearing the whispers that followed us.

I wanted the ground to open up and swallow me whole.

“No, I'm confused. I don't understand what came over me or what just happened,” I admitted quietly.

Dhalia guided me towards the mansion and up to my bedroom, keeping her arm wrapped protectively around my shoulders.

“I'm not going to lie, Thea. I genuinely thought he was going to kill you,” she whispered as she pushed open my bedroom door and ushered me inside.

I swallowed hard.

“I'm not entirely sure what happened either. I remember feeling this overwhelming urge to get to him. I remember running towards his wolf, and then...” I paused, trying desperately to piece the events together. “The next thing I knew, I was lying underneath his naked body.”

Dhalia turned me to face her, her expression shifting from concern to bewilderment as she searched my eyes.

“Thea, you both just imprinted! Your mate bond was so powerful that it knocked everyone around you backwards. What do you mean you don't remember anything?”

Me and Alaric?

Imprinted?

Absolutely not.

Everyone had to be mistaken. There was simply no other explanation.

“I think you've all got it wrong. If we imprinted, why didn't I feel anything? And why can't I remember it happening?” I asked, my voice rising slightly with my growing frustration.

Dhalia studied me for a moment, wearing an expression I couldn't quite decipher.

“Perhaps one of you doesn't want the bond. Or maybe neither of you does. You could both be fighting it without even realising. Or...” She hesitated, glancing towards the back of my head. “You hit your head pretty hard, Thea. Maybe that's why you can't remember.”

I instinctively reached up and touched the back of my head, wincing slightly at the tenderness. I couldn't even remember injuring myself.

How was that possible?

I lowered my hand and sank onto the end of my bed with a heavy sigh. My head was beginning to throb, and the more I thought about what had happened, the more overwhelmed I became.

“I think you're all making a huge mistake,” I insisted, shaking my head. “What you felt was probably just Alaric gaining his Alpha abilities. There's nothing to fight, nothing to want, and certainly nothing to remember.”

I paused, staring down at my hands.

“All I know is that he's absolutely furious with me, and my head is killing me.”

Oh, my goddess. I had really managed to upset him.

In all the years I had known Alaric, I had never seen him look at me the way he had earlier. He had never once been cross with me like that, and the memory of his furious expression made my stomach twist uncomfortably.

Dhalia sighed and crossed the room before settling beside me on the bed. I could practically see her trying to find the right words to make this entire situation seem less ridiculous.

Unfortunately, I wasn't sure there were any.

All I wanted was to find Alaric and apologise. I hated the thought of him being angry with me, especially when I couldn't even explain why I had done what I had.

“Listen,” she said gently, nudging my shoulder with hers. “Once Alaric and Elias have returned from their run, we're all having a party to celebrate our new Alpha. Why don't you have a shower, get changed, and try to enjoy yourself? We can talk about all of this tomorrow, when we've had some sleep and can think straight.”

I considered her suggestion for a moment before nodding.

Perhaps a distraction was exactly what I needed. A chance to forget about the strange events of the evening, clear my head, and enjoy myself for a few hours.

Besides, I couldn't spend the entire night hiding in my bedroom.

After taking a long, hot shower, I changed into a pair of denim shorts and a vest top before slipping on my Converse trainers. I ran a brush through my hair, took one final look in the mirror, and forced myself to smile.

Tonight was supposed to be a celebration.

I was determined not to let one unfortunate incident ruin it.

When I returned to the mansion grounds, I discovered that most of the pack members had already retired for the night. The children and older members had left the younger generation to celebrate their new Alpha, and a sizeable group of young men and women had gathered outside.

Music drifted through the air, mingling with the sounds of laughter and excited conversation.

For a moment, I allowed myself to relax.

I offered the group a small smile before looking around for Dhalia. Instead, my eyes landed on Alaric.

He was standing among the others, looking every bit as intimidating as he had earlier.

And he was still glaring at me.

Wonderful.

I briefly considered returning to my bedroom and spending the rest of the evening curled up with a good book. Reading had always been my favourite escape, especially when I was upset or had too much on my mind.

It was far more appealing than spending another minute feeling like the most unwelcome person at a party.

I turned on my heel and started towards the mansion.

“There you are!”

Dhalia's cheerful voice stopped me before I had taken more than a few steps. She caught my hand and pulled me back towards the gathering before I could make an excuse.

“Come on! You can't spend the entire evening hiding away.”

“I wasn't hiding,” I protested.

She gave me a knowing look.

“Of course you weren't.”

I rolled my eyes, but I couldn't help smiling as she dragged me towards the bar that had been set up especially for the occasion.

It was stocked with bottles of all shapes and sizes, containing everything from familiar spirits to liquids I couldn't even begin to identify.

Dhalia leaned against the bar and looked at me expectantly.

“So, what's your poison? We've got pretty much everything you could possibly think of.”

I scanned the bottles until my eyes settled on a large bottle of tequila.

A smile tugged at my lips.

Tequila had certainly got me into trouble on more than one occasion, but it had also been responsible for some of my fondest memories.

What could possibly go wrong?

“Tequila, please,” I said, addressing the werewolf behind the bar.

He raised his eyebrows before glancing towards Alaric, seemingly waiting for his Alpha's approval.

Alaric didn't even acknowledge him.

After a moment's hesitation, the bartender reached for the bottle and poured me a shot.

“Are you sure tequila is a good idea?” Elias asked, appearing beside us with an amused expression plastered across his smug face.

I narrowed my eyes at him.

What exactly did he think I was? Some sheltered little princess who had never seen a bottle of alcohol in her life?

“Absolutely. I'll have two shots and an El Diablo, please.”

The bartender stared at me.

Dhalia burst into delighted laughter and nodded encouragingly at him.

“Give the girl what she wants!”

I grinned.

Clearly, these people had a great deal to learn about me.

Everyone seemed to have assumed that my time at boarding school had been spent buried in books, attending lessons, and behaving like the perfect young lady.

If only they knew.

The things the girls and I had managed to get away with during those years would probably have given Kane a heart attack.

And that was only the beginning.

Before long, I found myself sitting around a campfire with a group of young pack members. Most of them were already well on their way to being drunk, with some laughing hysterically and others wrestling on the grass.

I had no idea where Dhalia, Elias, or Alaric had disappeared to. I assumed they were still near the bar, and for once, I was enjoying the opportunity to get to know some of the other members of the pack.

I was just beginning to relax when one of the young men approached me and handed me a pint glass filled with beer.

I stared at the glass, then at him.

Where was this going?

“I dare you to down the whole thing in ten seconds,” he announced with a mischievous grin.

His friends immediately gathered around us, their faces lighting up at the prospect of some entertainment.

I looked at the beer.

Then I looked at the expectant crowd.

Was it a sensible idea? Absolutely not.

Was I about to back down from a challenge in front of a group of strangers?

Not a chance.

I lifted the glass to my lips and tipped my head back.

“Chug! Chug! Chug!” they chanted.

I fought to suppress a laugh as I drank as quickly as I could, ignoring the increasingly enthusiastic cheers surrounding me.

Eight seconds later, the glass was empty.

The crowd erupted.

I lowered the glass with a triumphant grin, feeling rather pleased with myself.

“I told you she could drink all these idiots under the table!”

I recognised the voice immediately.

Dhalia, Elias, and Alaric had appeared at the edge of the gathering, evidently drawn over by the commotion.

Dhalia looked absolutely delighted.

Elias, on the other hand, appeared as though he had just discovered that the moon was made of cheese.

Alaric remained frustratingly difficult to read.

“Jeez! Where the hell did you learn to drink like that?” Elias demanded, passing me another cocktail.

I accepted it with a grin.

“Clubs and pubs, while I was away at boarding school.”

Elias blinked.

“Excuse me?”

I laughed.

“You heard me.”

For a moment, I was transported back to those nights when the other girls and I would sneak out through the windows and disappear into town. We'd spend hours moving from one pub to another, laughing until our stomachs hurt and desperately trying to make it back before our superiors woke up.

There had been mornings when I'd sat through lessons nursing the world's worst hangover, desperately hoping nobody would notice that I was barely capable of keeping my eyes open.

Somehow, I'd always managed to get away with it.

Looking back, it was a miracle we hadn't been expelled.

“Wow,” Elias said, looking at me with renewed interest. “What else did you get up to?”

My grin widened.

“Oh, you have no idea.”

I stood and turned slightly, hooking my fingers into the waistband of my denim shorts.

Then, with a mischievous smile, I lowered them just enough to reveal the edge of a rather large tattoo stretching from my hip towards the outside of my thigh.

I had designed it myself.

The artwork depicted Gaia kneeling in prayer over the Earth, and because I prayed to her so often, having her permanently inked onto my skin had felt right.

I'd managed to keep the tattoo hidden from almost everyone.

Especially Kane.

If he ever discovered what I'd done, he would absolutely lose his mind.

Elias leaned forward to get a better look, his eyebrows shooting upwards.

“No way! You have a tattoo?”

“Of course I do.”

“Take your shorts off! We want to see the whole thing!” one of the drunken men shouted from behind us.

I burst out laughing, although my amusement quickly gave way to discomfort.

There was absolutely no way I was pulling my shorts down any further. Not in front of my friends, my friend's boyfriend, my new Alpha, and a gathering of increasingly rowdy, testosterone-fuelled werewolves.

“Not today, guys,” I laughed, tugging my shorts back into place.

“Good choice.”

Alaric's low growl cut through the laughter.

I froze.

It was the first time he had acknowledged my existence all evening.

Slowly, I lifted my gaze to meet his.

His expression was hard, his jaw clenched, and his eyes seemed to darken as he looked at me.

My smile faded.

He was still angry with me.

Why did that hurt so much?

I swallowed the lump forming in my throat and took a small step towards him.

“Can we talk, please?”

For a moment, I thought he might refuse. Instead, he gave a brief nod before turning and walking towards a tall willow tree standing a short distance from the gathering.

Its long, trailing branches formed a natural curtain, creating a secluded little space away from the noise and the prying eyes of the pack.

I followed him beneath the branches.

Once we were alone, I looked up at him, suddenly feeling far less confident than I had moments earlier.

He stood silently, his expression unreadable.

I took that as my cue to speak.

“I'm sorry for making you angry. I should never have interrupted your ritual.”

Alaric stared at me for several seconds before releasing a heavy sigh.

“I could have killed you, Thea. What in the world were you thinking?”

His voice was low and rough, and I flinched despite myself.

“I don't know!” I exclaimed, frustrated by my own inability to explain what had happened. “I just felt this overwhelming urge to get to you. To protect you. To take away your pain. And stupidly, I followed it.”

I shook my head, desperately searching for words that might make sense of the impossible.

“If I'm being completely honest, I don't remember anything else.”

Alaric blinked.

For the first time since we'd stepped beneath the willow tree, something in his expression changed.

“You don't remember anything at all?” he asked quietly.

There was something about the way he said it that caught me off guard. His anger seemed to falter, replaced by something I couldn't quite identify.

Sadness, perhaps?

“No. Not a thing. But I suppose that's what happens when you hi—”

“That's strange,” he interrupted, looking away. “But probably for the best.”

I stopped speaking.

For the best?

What did that even mean?

Before I could ask, he straightened and gestured towards the party.

“Anyway, let's rejoin everyone.”

And just like that, the conversation was over.

He walked away before I could say another word, leaving me standing beneath the willow tree with a thousand unanswered questions swirling through my mind.

I watched him disappear into the darkness, feeling an unfamiliar ache settle in my chest.

I'd apologised. I'd explained everything I could remember. I'd tried to make things right.

So why was he still treating me as though I'd done something unforgivable?

I didn't understand him anymore.

Perhaps I never had.

“Thea! Come on!”

Dhalia's voice carried across the grounds, and I turned to see her waving me over to where she stood with Elias and Alaric.

I forced a smile onto my face and slowly made my way back towards them.

I had officially had enough of the evening.

“Shots!” Elias announced enthusiastically, appearing with a tray of twenty shot glasses filled with sambuca.

I stared at the tray and laughed softly, shaking my head.

“I'm going to head to bed. I'm getting tired.”

It was a lie, but I couldn't bring myself to care.

I needed to get away from Alaric before his coldness hurt me any more than it already had.

Without waiting for a response, I turned and walked towards the mansion.

My thoughts were a tangled mess.

I understood that I had frightened him. I understood that interrupting his initiation could have had serious consequences, and I regretted that more than I could explain.

But I had apologised.

What more could he possibly want from me?

He had barely spoken to me all evening, and when I'd finally managed to get him alone, he'd cut me off and walked away as though my words meant nothing.

I couldn't keep chasing after someone who clearly didn't want to speak to me.

If Alaric wanted to be angry, then that was his choice.

But I wasn't going to spend the entire night begging for his forgiveness.

As I climbed the steps towards the mansion, I felt something inside me begin to crumble.

It was a strange feeling, one I couldn't quite put into words.

My heart had broken a little that night, although I didn't understand why.

Not then.

But I would soon enough.

---

Alaric

I watched Thea walk away from us, and my heart sank.

The sight of her retreating figure filled me with an unfamiliar sense of regret. I hadn't wanted to make her feel unwelcome, and I certainly hadn't wanted to hurt her.

Yet somehow, that was exactly what I'd done.

Dhalia glanced up at me, frowning as she studied my expression. She had clearly noticed the tension between Thea and me, and I had little doubt that she was wondering what had happened beneath the willow tree.

“I think I'm going to check on her,” she announced.

Before either Elias or I could respond, she turned and hurried after her friend.

I sighed, dragging a hand through my hair.

Beside me, Elias looked down at the tray of shots he was still holding, apparently uncertain what he was supposed to do with them.

“You okay, mate?” he asked, placing the tray back on the bar.

The bartender gave him a deeply unimpressed look.

I barely noticed.

“I honestly don't know,” I admitted, rubbing a hand over my face. “My head is all over the place right now, and I think I need some time away from Thea.”

Elias turned towards me, his expression becoming more serious.

“I need to think without her being around me,” I continued. “The moment she's near me, I can't think straight. My emotions take over, and I can't trust myself to make the right decisions.”

The words tasted bitter in my mouth.

For seven years, I'd imagined what it would be like to see Thea again. I'd wondered how much she'd changed, what she'd look like, and whether she'd even remember me the way I remembered her.

I'd imagined a thousand different reunions.

Not once had I imagined this.

“It is a bit of a tough situation,” Elias admitted, slipping an arm around my shoulders in a rare attempt to comfort me.

He was one of the few people I trusted enough to confide in, and despite the fact that my father had warned me to keep everything to myself, I'd told Elias the truth.

All of it.

I'd made him swear never to tell another soul, and because the secret we were keeping was too dangerous to leave to chance, I'd demanded a blood oath as well.

He hadn't hesitated.

I trusted him completely.

“What are you going to do?” he asked, drawing me out of my thoughts.

I stared into the darkness beyond the bar, searching for an answer that simply wasn't there.

“I haven't got a clue.”

I exhaled slowly.

“I can't be the one responsible for protecting her, Elias. How am I supposed to do that when I can barely control myself around her? And I certainly can't marry her.”

Elias opened his mouth to interrupt, but I continued before he could.

“Thea and I don't even know each other anymore. We've both changed. What if we don't like the people we've become? What if everything we remember about each other is nothing more than a childhood memory?”

I shook my head, feeling increasingly frustrated with myself.

“Yes, she's beautiful. She's probably the most gorgeous woman I've ever laid eyes on. But she's practically a stranger to me now.”

I paused, struggling to voice the thought that had been eating away at me since the moment I'd seen her again.

“And if I'm being honest, I'm not good enough for her.”

Elias stared at me.

I could practically see him trying to decide whether to laugh in my face or knock some sense into me.

“She is a princess,” I continued. “She's our future queen. She's above me in so many ways, Elias. How can I possibly be what she needs?”

For a moment, he simply looked at me.

Then he let out a disbelieving laugh.

“Dude, you seriously need to stop overthinking everything.”

I shot him an irritated look.

“I'm being serious.”

“So am I!” he replied. “What the hell are you talking about? You're not good enough for her? Are you actually listening to yourself?”

I opened my mouth, but he held up a hand.

“No. You're going to listen to me for once.”

I sighed.

Wonderful. Here we went.

“You are exactly what that girl needs, and she is exactly what you need. That much has been obvious since we were kids.”

I looked away.

“Elias—”

“I'm not finished.”

He gave my shoulder a firm squeeze.

“Thea hasn't changed all that much. She's grown up, obviously, and she's a woman now, but she's still the same girl who used to drive you absolutely insane. And you're still the same serious, lovable arsehole you've always been.”

Despite myself, I almost smiled.

Almost.

“You two have always had something special,” he continued. “You can deny it all you want, but I've seen it with my own eyes. You just need to give her a chance.”

I knew he was right.

That was what made everything so much worse.

Because I wanted to give her that chance more than anything in the world.

I wanted to know the woman she'd become. I wanted to hear about her life, discover what made her laugh, what made her angry, and what she dreamed about when she closed her eyes at night.

I wanted to be the person she turned to when the world became too much.

I wanted all the things I had spent seven years convincing myself I could live without.

But wanting something didn't mean I had the right to take it.

Not from her.

Not when I was keeping a secret that could change everything she believed about herself.

Until Thea knew the truth about who she really was, getting close to her would mean building our relationship on a lie.

And she deserved better than that.

She deserved the truth, even if it meant she would hate me for keeping it from her.

I looked back towards the mansion, wondering whether Dhalia had managed to find her friend.

“I just need to stay away from her,” I whispered. “At least until she knows the truth.”

Elias fell silent.

For once, he had nothing to say.

And neither did I.

Because the hardest part wasn't knowing that I might lose Thea.

It was knowing that, in order to protect her, I might have to be the one who broke her heart first.