Dark Silence

23 days (1)

The bright autumn sun was with its last bit of strength trying to warm the lonely car that was throwing up dust on an empty country road. The radio, interrupted by the static noise, convincingly stated that fair weather was expected all day long. But in a few minutes, it finally gave up. In the end, it gave out the information on the absence of traffic jams on the highway leading to the neighboring city and burst into a steady noise, and then completely shut up.

Darnell turned his car to a back road that was barely visible among thick brushwood and drove into the forest. Gleams of light that were breaking through thin yellow leaves flashed across the hood of the car and dazzled Darnell’s eyes. The man squinted and lowered the sunshade, which, however, did not help much. A few old pieces of paper flew from under it and disappeared somewhere in the depths of the car. Darnell looked in the mirror at Madeleine. Although she did not want to go and hardly got up in the morning, now she gazed with delight at the landscape passing by, and she almost glued to the window. She seemed to feel that Darnell was looking at her. She interrupted her contemplation of the autumn forest and looked at him back, shaking her head in silent question. The man grinned.

“Do you want me to tell you where we’re going?”

Madeleine nodded briskly. She probably didn’t have many impressions and experiences in her bland life in the orphanage, and she was happy to go at least somewhere and learn something new, even if she never admitted this.

“I already told you that I escaped from the orphanage many times,” Darnell started his story. “But at the age of 14, I decided that I was ready for a more grandiose accomplishment. In this city, I was very quickly found and returned, so I decided to get to the neighboring one. On foot.” Darnell laughed. “I was so naive and stubborn - that was more than enough in me. I thought that I’ll somehow find a job in another city, I’ll arrange things somewhere there. My whole plan was based on “somehow” and “somewhere”. So, I walked for three days,  reached this forest, decided to cut through it, and successfully got lost. I don’t even know how I managed to get lost in this open small forest, probably I was too small for such a trip. A day later, I came across someone's house, right in the middle of a thicket. I didn’t have much choice, as I was tired and desperate. So I foolishly broke into it. It turned out that the house belonged to Fanny, she is something like a sorcerer or a witch or shaman - everything at once. She knows everything, helps everyone, doesn’t take money from anyone. And why does she need money here? Such a kind old lady living in the woods. She lives on her own small farm and only accepts help from those who wish to give it. I should have visited her more often though… And so, I crashed on her couch for a while, but in a few days, she gave me away to the orphanage, no matter how hard I begged her not to do this. She claimed, so to say, that I must go along my own way by myself.” Darnell snorted. “What a stupidity. But on the other hand, she allowed me to come when it really sucked and became unbearable, and live with her for several days. And so I did come to her in autumn and in spring. But if the minion didn’t tell me, I wouldn’t even think of coming to her. I really should start thinking about others more,” Darnell hummed feeling ashamed for himself and his selfishness. The man looked back at Madeleine in the mirror. She listened attentively to his story. “I think she will help you.”

Darnell stopped the car near an open wicket that was squeezed in a low stone fence, twined with red ivy and dark green moss that crammed into the cracks. Darnell shut the engine down, turned to the girl, and said cheerfully:

“We arrived at the place.”

Darnell threw his coat to the passenger seat and left the car. He took out his cigarettes and lit one, stopping on the gray cobbled path that led to the gate with the peeling green paint and then further to the house. Darnell was nostalgic about the countryside that was associated with his childhood. A solid two-story red brick house could be seen behind the fence. It looked like it came to this world from the pages of a fairy tale. It had a triangular tiled roof which was decorated with a round attic window. On the top of the roof, the wind vane in the shape of an owl, with its wings thrown over its back, was slowly turning around.

Madeleine quietly came up to him and stopped near, not knowing whether she should go into the wicket and what she should do next. A huge outbred black fat dog came out of the wicket at a slow pace and headed towards the guests. When Madeleine noticed him, she stepped back in fright and raised her hands. Darnell gladly took a step forward to him.

“Jack, are you really still alive?” the man threw the cigarette away and hunkered down in front of the dog. Darnell's face was opposite the dog's completely gray muzzle. The dog raised his old watery blue eyes and said hoarsely "Barkh!" into Darnell’s face. Darnell grabbed the dog by the neck and buried his face into his shaggy, curly hair, dotted with white hairs. In response, the animal sighed patiently and sat down on the ground.

“Who’s there? Who came to visit us, Jack?” A female voice sounded from behind the fence.

An old lady with grey hair with a short haircut appeared at the wicket. She was dressed in a loose flowered dress with long sleeves. She resettled the half-glasses on her nose and began to wipe her hands on her apron, contemplating the guests.

“Darnell, have you finally come to see me!” She flung up her hands. The man got up and walked towards her smiling. “Or are you running away from someone again?”

When Darnell heard this question, he tensed on the inside. What a certain question. The smile slowly faded from his face. Fanny knew and understood him perfectly, and at the same time, she was the only one whom he could trust completely. Not a single doctor managed to reach such a level of trust she could easily go through.

“Good day to you, Fanny. I would say I brought someone who needs your help.”

Darnell looked around absent-mindedly, looking for Madeleine, but didn’t notice her by his side. She was standing away from him, barely breathing, with the dog by her side. Compared to her, Jack looked like a huge monster. But he only tried to sniff her idly. Nevertheless, his size made her look petrified with horror. Darnell sighed and walked over to the dog. He patted his fat side to distract him from the girl.

“Madeleine, there are even no teeth left in his mouth. He only looks formidable, let's go."

Darnell took her to Fanny. The girl looked her up and down and nodded in greeting.

“This is Madeleine,” Darnell introduced her.

“Glad to meet you, child,” the old lady smiled. “But what are we standing on the road? Let's go into the house. There you will tell why you paid a call.”

She took her guests to the house. On the go, Darnell described the essence of the trouble that happened to Madeleine, and which help he needed from Fanny. However, he avoided the situation that led him to the idea to come here. The old lady nodded to his words and took them to a cozy living room. She seated Madeleine at a round table covered with a huge knitted white napkin and sat down opposite to her. Darnell chose to sit on a small couch near the table. He looked around the room. Here, everything was the way he remembered it. Several self-made protective amulets hang on plain light walls, which were illuminated in the evening by a pink fabric lampshade with fringes that had always been hanging there. On a shelf above an unlit fireplace with a heavy cast-iron grate, porcelain elephants, covered with a tiny c***k pattern, lined up in height. The shelves of the antique bookcase bent under the weight of the books packed in two or even three rows. In the far corner by a high window with the curtains with flower patterns stayed a cozy rocking-chair covered with a knitted blanket. Fanny loved to sit in it in the evenings and crochet the napkins and then decorate all surfaces in the house with them.

Darnell concentrated back at the one-sided dialogue that continued between the sorceress and the girl behind the table which she always used for hosting her visitors.

“Give me your palms, child,” Fanny reached out for Madeleine’s hands, but the girl didn’t seem to hurry and fulfill her request. To Darnell's surprise, she looked at him as if asking permission, and the man nodded. Since when she looked for his approval for her actions? Only after this Madeleine carefully gave her arms to the old lady, and she gently squeezed them, looking into the girl's eyes. "Oh, poor child," Fanny smiled mournfully. “How many trials happened in your life. How much sorrow lies on your poor soul. I’m so sorry that I can’t help you with them.” Fanny turned to Darnell. “And those "experts" of yours are completely narrow-minded and blinkered, they know how to judge everything only by their books. No one even thought or imagined that Madeleine doesn’t have a part of her memories at all and that the spell cast on her is just a trick.”

“What do you mean - has no memories?” Darnell was taken aback.

“Right what I said,” Fanny let go of Madeleine's hands and the girl hid them under the table. “Looks like they were taken away. It is impossible to reveal or restore something that doesn’t exist. So, you may leave the spell on her, it doesn’t affect the girl in any way.”

“I see,” Darnell commented thoughtfully on the new information that he received. He actually didn’t even know what to do with it. He needed to think it over, and maybe he would come to some solution. What was taken away, can be found and returned.

“Well, since we have figured it out, go to the garden, for now, child. Take a walk, look around, breathe with some fresh air. Jack will keep you company, don't be afraid of him,” Fanny said this and took Madeleine to the door, and out of the room. She locked the door tightly behind her not to give her a chance to eavesdrop. She stopped for a minute, waiting for the girl to walk away. The old lady returned to Darnell and sat down next to him on the couch. “Now, tell me, what’s eating you, dear?”

“What?” Darnell immediately got anxious and nervous. “I’m fine, everything is fine. Madeleine and I probably need to leave now, we must return to the city before dark, and…”

“Don't lie to me,” Fanny interrupted him. “I do feel that again you are just like you used to be when you came to me as a kid.” She patted Darnell on the knee. “You can tell me everything and share your worries and troubles, you know that.”

A lump suddenly squeezed Darnell’s throat taking his breath away. It pressed on his eyes. Fanny was the first in many years to ask about him so sincerely. Not just for the sake of appearance, as if talking about the weather. But showing true and sincere care and concern. No matter how many psychologists Darnell visited, none of them managed to wake an open desire to speak in him. They all seemed just soulless dolls to him who didn’t even struggle much to get into his head. They made similar conclusions based on his words and gave the same pieces of advice which didn’t bring their patient the slightest relief.

The bitterness of anxiety, struggles, worries, and constant stress rolled over Darnell in waves. He felt the urge to leave right now, but Fanny was looking at him so attentively with her kind, caring smile. Darnell suddenly felt as if he returned back to his childhood, abandoned by everyone, washed-up, and hated by each and every, except for this weird old woman from a deep forest, who did not even get angry with him for the mayhem he made when appeared at her place for the first time.

“Oh, come one, come to me, my boy,” Fanny suddenly opened her arms to Darnell, and he burst out.

He pressed himself against the old lady’s bosom and burst into tears like a child. Fanny quietly stroked his head, giving him the opportunity to let at least some of the load accumulated on his soul out.

“I… can't keep on going like this anymore…” Darnell hardly managed to say, sobbing. “There is no one by my side… I’m always alone. How much longer…”

“I don’t know, my dear boy, I don’t know,” Fanny replied in a comforting voice.

“Hasn’t… anything changed? Nothing at all?” Darnell asked, wiping his nose with the sleeve of a gray sweater. He lifted up his reddened eyes to the old lady.

"I'm sorry my boy, but I don't tell people things they want to hear." Fanny smiled, looking back at him. “You still have to walk this path on your own.”

When Darnell heard this, a new wave of despair swept over him. So, he couldn’t change the path of his fate no matter how hard he wanted that. Fanny was always right. And always told the truth.

“It’s fine, dear child, let it all out,” the old lady hugged a sobbing, shuddering man, pressing him to her chest. “Peace always follows sufferings. “She sighed as if she knew about Darnell's plans for the future. “The main thing is that you help this poor girl. I'm sure you can cope with this.”

Darnell nodded back as he started to calm down. He felt an emptiness in his soul and somehow even peacefulness. At the same time, he felt a burning shame that he, a grown-up man, started whining in front of an old lady.

“It doesn't matter how old the body is,” Fanny said suddenly, seeing his confusion and embarrassment. “In our souls, we are exactly as old as we feel.” She smiled in a calming manner. “For example, I'm 84, but in my heart, I'm still an eighteen-year-old girl running barefoot through the forest and gathering herbs to help anyone who asks me to. And no one dares to reproach me for this.”

Darnell pulled away from her, trying to hide his red eyes, and hastily wiped the tears from his face with his sleeve. He sighed convulsively again, recovering from sobs, and finally was able to speak in a more or less even voice.

“Thank you for your advice, Fanny. You always know what and how to say.” He smiled sadly, looking away. “I'll go and check on Madeleine.”

Darnell left Fanny sitting on the couch and went to the bathroom to wash his face before seeing Madeleine. The icy water, which was pumped directly from a spring located next to the house, cleared his head, and almost removed the redness from his eyes. Darnell washed his face furiously until he decided that there were almost no signs of his weakness remaining. Looking at himself in the mirror, he thought that his eyes were turning a bright emerald color from his tears. He hadn't ever noticed this before. Probably because he did not give vent to his feelings for a long time, always bottling them inside.

When Darnell was done with washing, he went out into the yard. Madeleine was resting in the shade under a huge apple tree with the dog. In fact, Jack was resting, and the girl was persistently squeezing and hugging him, and it seemed that she was silently sharing something very important with him. Darnell walked up to the tree and sat down on the ground next to them. Jack shifted his head from his paws to his feet and sighed heavily, like a human being, staring with his blind, watery eyes somewhere into the distance.

“You’ve turned into a real lumber,” Darnell said, stroking his shaggy black head. “Your eyes are completely pale. There’s not much time left for you… Besides, how old are you? About 20 years old? It’s amazing that you’ve lived such a long dog life.” Darnell turned to Madeleine. “A long time ago, this dog caught me for shameful theft and dragged me by my pants to Fanny.” Darnell chuckled, remembering his childhood. “I was so happy the moment I came across her house. I didn’t even think much, crawled into the greenhouse in the middle of the night, and out of hunger began to eat everything that grew there. And then this shaggy guard heard the noise and came to check on what was going on. I still wonder how he didn't eat me up. I threw tomatoes at him, trying to scare and drive him away. Do you remember that?” Darnell addressed the dog, patting his dangling ear. Jack only sighed noisily in response and blinked slowly under heavy overhanging eyebrows, as if confirming the man's words. “For this, he really disliked me, almost hated me. He constantly either kept away from me or tried to bite me in the leg. Anyway, I’ve always been at odds with animals. They sense the demon inside me first of all.” Darnell shrugged his shoulders. “But then I found his weak point, look.” Darnell put his hand lower than the scruff of Jack's neck and began to scratch the dog between his shoulder blades. Jack slowly and unwillingly started to paw the ground, unable to resist the pleasure. The shaggy tail waved, kicking up dust.

Fanny quietly came up to them. It seemed that she was watching her guests for some time already.

“When you’re done with toiling poor Jack, come back to the house,” she said kindly. Darnell and Madeleine looked at the old lady. “You should return to the city tomorrow. Stay here, have a rest from its hustle and bustle, noise, and smoke. How can anyone live there!” Fannie threw up her hands and walked towards the garden, still chuntering about the urban dwellers. Darnell turned to Madeleine.

“Wanna stay here today?” he asked. The girl nodded happily and stood up briskly. “Okay, so be it,” Darnell smiled. “The way back is really long. If we stay here, we can go to one place I need early in the morning. Go to the house,” he nodded to Madeleine, and she rushed off to explore new territories.