Sweet Evil Fangs

Where Is He?

For weeks, I've felt barely alive. I don’t know what to feel, think, or express anymore; everything seems unreal. I can’t even imagine what it feels like to be happy or energized.

The world is so impartial to me. My parents left me, and now Nathan is gone. I tried to push the heavy thought away, but every time I remember him, I choke back a sob. I miss him so much, and there is nothing I can do about it.

“Look at me.”

I didn't obey, even as he kept badgering me. I was exhausted and lacked the energy to even move, but he forcefully grabbed my jaw, making me look him squarely in the eyes. He looked aggravated, as usual. When does he ever look content? Every time I see him, he appears…unhappy, as if the world has been unfair to him, too.

He stopped when I didn’t respond. He pulled away, revealing his fangs and claws. He transformed into a half-wolf again and howled like a starved creature, ready to brutalize me. He grabbed my upper body, tilted my face up, and dragged his sharp nails lightly across my skin, tracing a line.

“You’re being difficult, Natasha.”

I tried not to look him in the eyes; they felt like they were suctioning me into an unfathomable dark space, leaving my whole system under his control. I didn’t want to be submissive to him. He would savor every minute of my obedience.

I always do what he wants. From following him, kneeling for him, cooking for him, feeding him, to exposing my soul—he has seen everything. He destroyed my ego, my pride, my womanhood. To the point where I don't know my purpose anymore.

Is it worth it to have this fleeting spirit? Is it worth it to be here? Alive, but not living?

My emotions surged, and I realized I was having a breakdown. I felt Ethan tense slightly when he saw my tears. I was trying desperately not to make a sound, terrified he would slice my neck, but suddenly, I didn't care anymore. He can kill me if he wants to. He can dispose of me if he's willing.

I feel disgusted by my own body. I want to throw myself into a pit.

“What are you doing?”

This time, I met his eyes. I couldn't believe him. My fear and sadness were replaced by an intense emotion most people can’t control. I couldn't read his thoughts, but as his eyes followed my tears, one dropping onto his skin, he looked at it. No emotion registered on his face.

“A-Are you serious right now?” Disbelief was evident in my tone. He didn't respond, just watched me go berserk.

“I’m crying, can’t you see? I’m broken! I don’t want to be here anymore! I want you to just kill me right now! f**k life! What is even the purpose of it?”

I bit my bottom lip and covered my face with my palms as my tears kept falling. I hate this. I know he’s reveling in wicked thoughts about me deep inside his foolish mind. He loves it, I know, but why am I giving him the satisfaction? To see me breaking down and begging him to end my life.

“I hate you, Ethan! I despise you! I’m never going to forgive someone like you! You’re nothing compared to your twin! You’re selfish, a rascal, an imbecile, and a jerk who doesn’t even know what life is!”

His eye twitched, and I saw something flicker—something that triggered him. His fangs sharpened and shone directly in my vision. He shoved me onto the bed and pressed his body on top of mine, crushing me with his full weight. His claws wrapped around my neck, the sharp nails digging into my flesh. I couldn't breathe properly; he wasn't thinking straight anymore.

“How dare you! After saving your life, this is how you repay me?!”

I coughed repeatedly, clawing at his grip, struggling for air. He was going demonic. I could feel the pure rage radiating from him. He raised his hand and sharp claws. Memories flashed before my eyes as my chest heaved intensely. This is it. I’m going to die, but why am I afraid? As if I’m not truly ready to give up?

But seconds passed, waiting for him to s***h my throat, and nothing happened. I could hear his deep gasping. I slowly opened my eyes to see him taking ragged breaths. His eyes were closed, and he was muttering something under his breath—a chant I couldn't make out. We stayed in that position for several minutes before he opened his eyes, and I saw something in them. I knew what it was, but before I could reach for him, he snarled at me and vanished, leaving me alone in the blink of an eye.

I waited for him to return, even though I knew it was a foolish idea after he'd nearly taken my life. But after days, he didn't come back.

“Uhm…Natasha…”

As I walked to my next class, someone called my name. I recognized the pitch of the voice and turned to meet Carl’s eyes. He looked troubled, searching for someone—and I think I know who.

“Is Nathan around? He might kill me this time.”

I shook my head, and he sighed in relief. He handed me his binder, stuffed with layers of paper. From the look of it, I was going to be busy. I offered him an involuntary smile to encourage him, though secretly, I was cursing him out. I was not looking forward to the task.

“Good. You’re the one who will proofread this and encode it afterward. I need it done by tomorrow.”

I nodded, and he walked away. When I was alone, I couldn't help but feel the emptiness streaming through my entire system. It felt like a part of me was missing; I couldn't identify what it was. I sighed deeply and continued with my day.

“You’re such a disappointment, Natasha! You almost killed her!”

The manager threw the products on the floor, scattering them in every corner. I gulped nervously, shivering in my spot. He was raging mad, shouting at me relentlessly. Some of my co-workers backed away, pretending not to hear anything. I held back my tears when he grabbed my arm and pointed his finger at me.

“I-I’m so s-sorry—”

He cut me off, pushing me back and cursing.

“Just go back to work! God, you’re stressing me! If you don’t do it right this time, I will fire you!”

Giving her a peanut butter sandwich sample for the new product launch this week was a disastrous misstep. The store manager had chosen me to provide the free example. It wasn't my intention to nearly kill her; I hadn’t known she had an allergy. I tried to explain, but they just silenced me.

Some of my co-workers discussed me behind my back as I tried not to break down. I felt a blockage in my throat. I inhaled sharply and simply focused on my job.

While walking on the side road home, I couldn’t help but look up and see how bright the full moon was. It was so beautiful tonight. It somehow gave me comfort despite the atrocious things that had happened today. Earlier, I wanted to break down and let all my tears out, but now, given the chance, I couldn’t find a single tear to fall.

The wind blew lightly, and I hugged myself as my hair scattered across my face. I looked ahead, hearing a commotion. I saw a group of men heading my way. I checked my phone—it was already midnight.

I looked left and right, ready to run to the other side of the road; I had a bad feeling about this. One guy let out a long whistle as I was about to walk away.

“What do we have here? A lady!”

Something told me this wasn't going to be my night. I gulped, tensing up. I looked at the man and forced a smile. I tried to leave, but he caught my arm, pulling me back to my exact spot. I shrieked faintly.

“Hey, how are you?” a man, taller and bulkier than the rest, smiled creepily at me.

“A-um…hi, I was just about to—”

The man yanked me toward him, making me stop mid-step and land against his massive chest. My eyes widened in terror as I struggled to escape his hold, but his hands were stronger than mine.

“Oh! We’re also going home! Want us to walk you there?” Another man touched my hair, and I felt him sniffing it. The hair on the back of my neck stood up in sheer anxiety. This is not good. I am outnumbered. My heart started beating so fast I couldn't keep up with my breathing.

“I-I’m sorry, please let go of me. I can take care of myself.” I pried myself from the man's grip and walked quickly, trying to escape their gaze. But as I tried to keep my pace faster, I glanced over my shoulder and saw them following. When I broke into a run, that’s where the trouble truly began.

They started to sprint, chasing me with their devilish looks.