The Flare

Aftermath

Drak, what had she done? She had mated with a human!

Salona shivered. 'Mated' seemed inappropriate for what she shared with Jake—so removed and clinical. The intense training she received in s****l relations had not covered what she was currently experiencing as part of the curriculum.

The assistants her father hired never spoke of emotional aftermath or the sensations currently gnawing at her heart. There was a pressure on her chest as if someone were sitting on top of her. It was powerful, driving her to want, desperately, to be in the same room with him again. Not to mate, but to be held. To be stroked gently on the arm and whisper in his ear.

The itching burn was gone, yes. But Salona was unsure which was worse, the burn or the ache. She felt dirty and discarded. Emotionally, she wanted to blame Jake for these feelings, but logically, she knew he wasn't the source. It was her insides, her soul, craving him.

Her body, her fault.

Dex chose that moment to squeal and demand her attention. He always knew when she needed comfort. Salona snuggled the little riki into the corner of her arm, showering him with some of the affection she yearned to show Jake.

“Hello, chakre. Did you run off after your hot dog?” Salona scratched behind his ears, Dex’s eyes closing in rapture.

She'd been unprepared, she thought. But this time it wasn't fear she felt, as it had been in the center of the arena. This time it was shame. Shame because she flared for a human? Or because she had thrown herself on an unwilling man? He had no clue what was happening—that her body was driving her behavior.

What must he think of her? She didn’t know what these feelings were.

Salona's mother committed suicide hours after Salona was born. Because of this, Salona never received her Baelk conclave prior to her flare ceremony. No special arrangements were made for her because of her mother's absence. Their intent had been to prevent reliving the shame of her mother's death. Bringing attention to the stain on her family's honor was not appreciated. Salona assumed the meeting between mother and daughter was simply a ceremonial formality. Otherwise they would have made other arrangements to assure she was prepared. Wouldn’t they?

Salona had to make do with her father and brother’s help. Her father told her what happened when he was chosen by Utakia, her mother, and what he remembered about her body's response to her mate. Leinad could only tell her what he remembered about Utakia's demeanor before and after a flare episode. He'd been so young at the time; he didn’t remember much. She was calm and normal after, he said, never disturbed or upset when the burn subsided.

Salona hugged Dex tight. In all likelihood the Baelk didn’t offer advice on these circumstances. She was on her own figuring out what to do when the flare returned.