His Isolated Omega Luna

Chapter Ten

I still felt unsteady and light-headed when I crawled back under the blanket after changing my clothes for the second time that evening. I was just about to settle down to try and go back to sleep, when I noticed a small bright dot of light blinking intermittently in the darkness.

I sat up with a start when I realized it was coming from my hand phone. I stretched my arm out and pulled it towards me with the tips of my fingers.

I rubbed my eyes and squinted at the screen. I was surprised to see there was a voicemail. I opened it and saw it was from Gabriel. I hadn’t really expected him to get back to me quite so quickly, and certainly not in the middle of the night, but Gabriel was thorough if nothing else and had always been clinically obsessed with keeping me locked away.

I wondered sometimes if it was from love or shame.

Maybe I would never know.

I felt a bit guilty knowing it must have been sent when I was still outside being shamelessly mauled by Axel. My heart started to beat wildly while I listened to the recording and absorbed every word.

I felt sick to my stomach before it had even finished, closing my eyes while I let the hard truth sink in.

Gabriel told me it was likely I had been targeted by an unmated male alpha, and that meant my condition, as Gabriel so condescendingly called it, like it was some kind of contagious disease, was no longer a secret. I would be in constant danger and I needed to leave as soon as possible.

Unmated.

That was the word that kept swimming around in my head. It had been the foundation of my fear for so long, I couldn’t remember my life without it.

So. Axel was an alpha then.

That much was certain, and I felt cold at the thought of how close I had come to letting Axel take me.

All the doubt and mindless panic had seemed so unimportant when I melted in Axel’s arms, but now it all rushed back into my body with a vengeance at the thought of being claimed and forced into submission.

I had really started to believe Axel might actually care about me. Now he was just another one of those terrible things that had haunted my darkest nightmares for close to two decades, but that wasn't what hurt the most.

Something deep inside my heart stung much more than the tears I was forcing back.

Axel had lied.

***

I was trying hard to reconcile the fact Axel had openly deceived me, with really wanting to understand why he might have done it. He hadn’t actually told me a lie outright but now I wondered if Axel had deliberately tried to manipulate me. Make me believe I was safe, when all the time he was planning to take me when I was at my most vulnerable.

None of this was even close to the truth, but to me it felt painfully real.

I imagined Axel had been trying to ensnare me with the promise of a soft kiss and a gentle caress just to lure me in. To what purpose I could only guess, but Axel was an uncoupled alpha. The very thing that I had always run from. Gabriel had warned me, and I hadn’t listened.

Stupid.

I was just another conquest to someone like that.

I already knew that, and it had never bothered me so much before but now there was an unpleasant pull in my stomach that made me want to curl up into myself. I could feel a dull headache developing just behind my eyes, and rubbed at my temples to try and shift it before deciding to settle down for the night.

I tugged the blanket right up to my chin and rested my head on the backpack. My shoulders shuddered, a single tear welling up in one eye. It ran slowly down my cheek. I shivered and shut both eyes tight like that would somehow make the horrible feeling of emptiness go away.

I was alone again.

Axel had started to make me feel like I was actually worth something.

It was all a lie. I thought, wiping at my eyes.

Axel must have seen me coming a mile off. He probably thought I was just going to spread my legs for him with a few carefully placed touches and a string of false promises.

I had managed to pretend I was alright for so long, it had become easier as the years passed. Now I knew what it felt like to have a warm body pressed up against me and that was worse somehow. I even hoped there might be something there with Axel that could one day erase the pain of all those lonely nights. To have that, and then for fate to take it away again so cruelly made that ache of longing for Axel to hold him close almost unbearable.

I would rather have never known it at all.

I hadn't been completely honest with Axel either. I wanted to tell him everything so badly, but so many years of pushing down every emotion and hope had forced it to become second nature.

The dark pressed in against me.

I was still cold.

***

Axel groaned when the bright glare of morning sun filtered down and warmed his face. He covered his head with one hand and rolled over on to his side. Lucas was already up and watching him intently while he managed to crack open a bleary eye. He quickly closed it again when he realized he was being studied.

“So? Did Cassandra pass your stupid test, then?” Lucas asked, around a mouthful of pancakes. He completely ignored the fact Axel was pretending to be asleep. Most of his body was draped untidily over one end of the couch. He retreated to its relative safety only a few hours before after Lucas tore a strip off him for the way he'd gone after Cassandra. Axel hadn’t even bothered to kick off his boots, fighting sleep for as long as he could while his thoughts were a tangled mess of concern. His happiness had soon been dulled by the fact he may have unwittingly put Cassandra in danger.

“What?” Axel responded, with a deliberate yawn. He could hear Lucas chewing loudly but he didn’t offer any further information. He wanted Axel to try and work it out for himself. “Lucas... too early.” Axel grumbled into the cushion underneath his face. “What test?”

Lucas waited patiently for a few more seconds until it was clear he was just going to have to spell it out. Axel was clueless to subtle hints at the best of times, but when he was half-asleep and consumed by misplaced guilt it was a complete waste of time even trying.

“Axel.” Lucas swallowed the last bite. “Why did you really go and see Cassandra last night?” Lucas stopped him from trying to justify it with a warning glare and wiped the back of his hand across his mouth. “I know it’s got something to do with that book, and don’t lie to me. I’m still really mad at you.” Axel was wide awake at that and pushed himself up on his elbows.

“Why you been digging around in my stuff?” He asked bluntly. “I don’t screw with your computer.”

“That’s because you know I password protect it with something you can’t even spell.” Lucas spared him a conceited smile. Axel forced himself up, narrowing his eyes at his brother when he wandered over to the table.

“That’s not the point.” He sniffed. “Don’t mess with my stuff, Lucas. It’s personal.” Axel reverently ran one hand over the leather cover before picking it up and leafing through the pages that caused him to bolt out in the middle of the night. He had to know for sure if he was right about Cassandra before he lost his mind.

“I just wanted to see her.” Axel rolled his eyes in defeat. Lucas had always been far too perceptive for his own good and Axel was too knackered to deal with the thousand-yard stare. “I wanted to see her because of this.” Axel continued, turning the book around and passing it to Lucas.

Lucas was completely silent while he started to read. Axel felt more uncomfortable with every second that passed. Lucas’ eyes were flicking from left to right as he absorbed all the information in front of him. After almost two full minutes he inhaled a deep breath and closed it gently before handing it back to Axel.

“Subconscious behavior. I see.” He said slowly. Axel felt his shoulders drop.

Lucas had an enviable knack of being able to convey whole conversations without ever saying more than a handful of words. There was a lot more hidden behind that simple response, but Axel could feel the back of his neck getting warm and he was really hoping that would be an end to it for a while. He sighed a short breath of relief but even that didn’t last for long. “I didn’t think you still really believed in all that pair-bonding stuff.” Lucas added, just because he couldn’t help himself.

“Do we have to do this now, Lucas?” Axel sighed. “I slept like four hours, and quite honestly I think you said more than enough to me last night.” There was a sharp edge to his voice that suggested he was definitely not in the mood to listen to any more of Lucas’s bullshit.

“Is that why you marked her? To see if she would have to respond?" He asked suddenly. Axel was so surprised by the directness of it, he just nodded.

“She’s the one, Lucas. The only one, and I got no intention of letting her go.”

Lucas seemed to be mulling over the specifics of all this recently acquired information. He had to admit there was no way he could dispute the sincerity in Axel’s face when he spoke about how much he wanted Cassandra.

“Listen.” Lucas said, after a thoughtful pause. “I don’t agree with the way you did it, but I’ve never seen you like this before, so I guess you believe it and that’s all that matters, Axel. I hope she is your true mate. I really do. God knows you’ve waited long enough for her.”

***

Lucas left just after lunch to resume his mission of finding a job in the city before both of them starved to death. He was likely to be out all afternoon, so Axel spent most of it just lying on his bed and allowing himself the odd power nap while he carefully planned how he could tell Cassandra the truth without her regressing back to a point where she was reluctant to let Axel touch her at all.

God, he missed her.

Axel had been trying to recreate their kiss in his imagination but all that achieved was to give him an insufferable ache between his legs. He distracted himself by picking up the trash and washing up most of the breakfast plates.

It was almost dark again by the time he saw Lucas come in. His arms were weighed down by a large flat box with a couple of brown paper bags perched on top. His keys were dangling from one side of his mouth.

“Beer and pizza. Knock yourself out.” Lucas said, forming the words around clenched teeth.

Axel was still moping about after Cassandra and his customary appetite had dwindled to almost nothing. Every time he thought about having to admit to being an alpha, he felt sick but he might manage to force something down. He knew Cassandra wouldn’t be finished with her shift until the morning so there was nothing he could do until then. Lucas turned to shut the door and Axel almost choked when he reached for the box.

“Cas. You’re back.” Lucas said in surprise. “Axel said you were working tonight.”

“Change of plan.” Cassandra replied, forcing a soft smile.

“Lucky you. I know Axel will be very happy to see you. I think he wanted to tell you something.” Lucas said pointedly, knowing full well that the door was wide open and Axel was definitely within earshot. His tousled head appeared almost immediately and Cassandra’s eyes grew wide.

***

“Yes. I… I’m not feeling well, Lucas.” I mumbled.

I shivered, putting my head down so I didn’t have to look into Axel’s searching eyes a moment longer. I started to pick mindlessly at the hem of my shirt. My fingers were trembling but I couldn’t seem to make them stop, stomach still churning at the bitter memory of my brother’s message.

I just wanted to crawl into bed and shut out the rest of the world and the heartache of being taken in completely by someone I thought was so different.

“They sent me home. I didn’t sleep much yesterday and I think I must be coming down with something.” My face was flushed pink and I was sweating so much, the edge of my collar was damp. My lips looked chapped and dry and I kept dipping out my tongue in a futile attempt to moisturize them.

Axel was studying me so hard, his nostrils flared wide.

“Cas? You okay? You want me to walk you?” Axel asked quickly. There was something definitely not quite right about her. Her scent had changed.

“No. Thank you.” I replied in a broken whisper. I carried on down the hall without looking back but Axel ran after me anyway.

“What’s the matter? Cas?” Axel stressed. I was now visibly shaking while I rummaged around in a pocket for my door key. The burning heat that had started to consume my body without warning was making me distressed and jumpy.

“Hey.” Axel said softly. When he reached out to try and calm me, I swiftly jerked my arm away. “Have I done something wrong?”

I could feel the panic surging again and all the sadness and disappointment rose up inside me until I just couldn’t hold it in any longer.

“Why didn’t you tell me?” I suddenly blurted out, choking back a desperate gasp. Axel was staring at me in confusion.

***

“Tell you… what, exactly?” Axel stammered. A rush of possible scenarios cascaded through his mind. He purposely covered the lock with his hand to prevent Cassandra from pushing in the key.

“Cas? What are you asking me?” Axel reached for her again and this time Cassandra did not too refuse him. She lets Axel slide his arm up so he could curl his fingers around the back of her neck. She made a weak attempt to move away but Axel just pushed his hand into the back of her hair and played with the strands between his fingers.

***

“Axel... please let me go.” The request was half-hearted at best. My head was spinning and there was a pulsing in my ears that made everything sound muffled and indistinct while I felt myself sway under the stroke of Axel’s seductive fingertips.

Axel reluctantly pulled back and allowed me to try and open the door but my hand was shuddering aimlessly against the key slot, so Axel gently covered it with his own and helped me to slide the key in.

I unexpectedly leaned against him, but Axel sensed it was only because I needed the support. Despite my wordless protests of insisting I was fine by waving Axel away dismissively, Axel helped me into the apartment anyway and positioned me on the nearest seat before I collapsed altogether.

***

Axel leaned over Cassandra to make sure she was secure, and there was that scent again.

It was still all Cassandra, but it was sweeter like syrup and Axel inhaled as much of it as he could while he had the chance. It left a strange sticky taste in the back of his mouth. He knew it was something he had never encountered before.

“Okay?” Axel asked, when Cassandra finally looked up at him. She nodded, but she was far from okay and they both knew it. “Sure? ‘Cause you don’t look real good, and if there’s something I can do to help then…”

Cassandra cut him off.

“I think you’ve done enough.” She managed at last. “You lied to me. You should have told me what you were!” Axel jerked back in alarm.

So she did know the truth. He had no idea how Cassandra could have come to that conclusion on her own and wished he had told her sooner, but there was nothing he could do about that now.

Axel finally understood how that must have looked to someone so pure and vulnerable. All Axel had wanted to do was to try and protect her and make Cassandra want his claim rather than just taking her, but the damage had already been done by his needless hesitation and his own insecurities.

“I really think it's best if I don’t see you anymore...” Cassandra whispered.