His Isolated Omega Luna

Chapter Eight

It took me a few breathless minutes to regain my composure, checking myself one final time in the mirror before I felt ready to walk back out. I was trying to think of somewhere I could hole away for the night, so I could be alone and undisturbed. I knew I couldn't possibly go home until I decided what I was going to do. I might run into Axel again, and right now I couldn’t risk being alone with him.

I could no longer be held responsible for the way my body seemed to want to respond to Axel. I was also very scared of becoming too dependent on that deep voice, and the way his strong arms held back all the fears and made me feel even half-way safe. Gabriel had all but told me I was completely forbidden to see Axel again. I understood that my brother was just looking out for me, but the thought of having to blank Axel out altogether was almost more than I could bear.

I wanted that touch again. I desperately wanted more of the way Axel made me feel, but Gabriel was probably right. It was best to just try and forget he even existed.

My heart sank at the thought of trying to erase those beautiful eyes from my memory. I sighed, wondering if years of denying myself any form of human contact would ever feel like it had all been worth it. I knew what my brother would say.

He kept me safe all this time. I owed him something.

The need to mate had never really made a whole lot of sense to me anyway. Logic told me I should be determined that no one, not even someone who looked and smelled as good as Axel Harrison, was going to negate the best part of my life spent running and hiding. Allowing most of my family to think I was dead was one thing, but to risk being exposed for what I was…

Well. That was something else entirely.

I was pulled from a string of distracted thoughts by a gentle hand on my shoulder. I jumped out of habit rather than anything else, and the relief was obvious on my face when I realized it was only Hayley.

“Hello, Cassandra.” She said lightly, quickly removing her hand so I wouldn’t start panicking again. “What you up to?”

I was immediately on the defensive, and looked at her like she had caught me doing something I shouldn’t.

“Nothing.” I replied, but she just smiled at me.

“I meant, why are you here? You’re not on tonight, remember?” Hayley said kindly.

I always got the impression she thought I needed to be managed delicately in case I suddenly snapped and went postal. I knew she was probably just trying to be nice, but I wished I could tell her the truth. I was phobic, not mentally unstable.

And it certainly wasn’t unjustified. I didn’t want to be afraid.

“Yes, I know. I just really needed to be somewhere quiet tonight.”

I didn’t think I had ever said more than a few words to her at a time, and now she seemed far too interested in what I was doing, and even that made me nervous. As much as I liked Hayley, I was trying to edge away and out of conversation distance. I was still feeling the exhausting effects of my unexpected vision from earlier and was frightened she might notice my unusual scent and make some comment I would have no response for.

“You can use the admin office if you want. It’s sure to be empty at this time of night, and it’s pretty quiet. You’re not really supposed to sleep here you know, but honestly, you don’t look so well. I promise I won’t snitch on you.” Her smile was actually warm and genuine this time.

“Thanks.” I whispered quietly, walking away with my pack slung across one shoulder.

I wasn’t used to people being so kind to me without wanting something in return. Axel had been unnecessarily patient with me all day, even when I had pushed him away, and now this woman I hardly knew seemed to be looking out for me too. It was only a matter of minutes before that familiar sense of despondency came over me again. Axel probably wouldn't have been so wonderfully understanding if he knew the truth.

I felt everything twist inside me with the realization Axel Harrison was just an impossible dream.

***

Axel was sitting with his legs propped up on the table and his feet crossed together, a large book resting on his lap. Lucas finally closed his computer and got up to go to bed. It was almost midnight, and he would have to go job hunting again in the morning so he decided to call it for the day.

“Right. I’ll see you in the… what’s that?” Lucas asked with sudden interest, when he spotted the worn leather book in front of his brother. He hadn’t even noticed Axel leave the room. “Are you actually reading?” Lucas asked incredulously. Axel bit his tongue to stop himself from retaliating.

“Hmm.”

“Hey, I know what that is. You haven’t had that out for years.” Lucas continued. “Not since you were getting ready for that first hunt. Do you remember? Why on earth are you..? Oh.” He deliberately stopped his mouth from moving any more when he realized the significance of the sudden reappearance of that book.

“Axel,” Lucas attempted gently. “You know you’re only gonna make yourself feel worse.” Axel knew exactly what he meant, but he carried on reading anyway.

“I just needed to check something.” He murmured vaguely. Lucas knew it was pointless trying to dissuade him, regardless of the fact he was probably just going to be disappointed again.

“You know that lore by heart, anyway.” Lucas paused for a second.

He had to say it.

“Cassandra?” Axel nodded and licked his finger before turning the corner of a particularly worn page.

“I really think she is, Lucas. I can’t get her out of my head. She’s only been gone a couple of hours and it’s driving me insane.” Axel slammed the book shut in frustration.

The mere mention of her name had seemed to set him off again. He stared at the front cover where two definitive symbols were joined together. “I never wanted anyone the way I want her,” Axel covered his face with his hands and tipped his head back in distress. “I just don’t understand why she would hide it.”

“I think I do.” Lucas said quietly.

***

I didn’t even remember falling asleep, but I awoke suddenly in the middle of the night.

I only had a thin blanket to cover myself and had used my backpack as a pillow from necessity. It definitely wasn't the most comfortable sleep I had ever had, but I felt reasonably safe, and it had given me some time to think about whether I could trust Axel enough to tell him the truth.

There was something so honest behind his eyes that made me want to pour my heart out to him.

The last thing I consciously remembered was Gabriel’s voice in my head, and the wave of defiance that had risen up when I thought about how my brother always seemed to have made all my decisions for me, even if he thought they were wrong.

This one I definitely thought was wrong. Gabriel could never understand how safe I felt in Axel’s arms.

How could something that felt so right ever be wrong?

That was the one thought in my mind when I was stirred awake.

I had no idea how long I had actually been asleep, but soon realized I was only roused from it by a gentle but insistent knocking on the office door. I had taken the precaution of locking it just in case I had another panic attack in the night, or even more disturbing, a dream about Axel that would have left me flustered and soaked in slick. I had no desire for anybody to see me like that.

I opened one eye and glanced at the clock. It was just after two a.m. I tried to ignore it but it could have been an emergency, so I held my breath and waited to see if it came again.

I could hear a soft voice calling me from the other side. I thought I recognized it, but I was still half-asleep so I sat up and rubbed my eyes. I eventually threw off the cover and stood up. My legs still felt a little shaky and I suddenly came over very cold.

“I’m coming - hang on.” I offered, with a wide yawn. I pulled it open just enough to be able to look out. The bright light from the corridor hurt my eyes when I squinted at the shadow in the doorway. “What is it?”

“I’m really sorry to wake you, Cassandra, but there’s a very persistent man outside and he wouldn’t go away until he made me promise to give you this.”

“Hayley?” I asked, my voice still dulled by sleep. Hayley didn’t say anything else. She pushed a small piece of paper through the door and I took it slowly before retreating back into the room with a quiet murmur of thanks.

I was still completely mystified as to why anyone would care enough about me to send a message at such an ungodly hour but it made me a little curious so I flicked on the small desk lamp and opened it with trembling fingers.

My heart almost stopped beating when I read two words that looked like they were hurriedly scrawled on impulse.

Come outside.

I just stared at it in surprise and read it again just to make sure that waking myself from sleep so abruptly hadn't caused me to hallucinate.

I could feel the warning signs of anxiety tighten my chest, heaving in a few fractured breaths when I peered out into the darkness. I couldn’t really see anything, so I pushed the blind back some more and pressed my face up against the pane.

I jerked my head back when I recognized the shaded outline. I quickly wrapped my jacket over both shoulders and slipped out the fire exit.

“Axel?” I blinked when I got outside. “What the hell are you doing?” Axel’s smile suddenly faded at that.

I hadn't responded in quite the way he'd hoped.

“Sorry.” I apologized, gripping the piece of paper more tightly. “I didn’t mean that the way it came out. I just didn’t expect to see you again tonight.” I whispered, a stream of breath escaping my lips when I looked up at the sky. “This morning, even. Do you have any idea what time it is?” Axel nodded and pressed his lips together.

“I couldn’t sleep. My head was all over the place earlier.” Axel moved in closer. “I was thinking about you.”

I could feel the warmth rising up in my chest. I was pretty certain I was blushing. Axel seemed to hesitate when he realized he might have said too much again. He was staring up at the top of the building, sticking the ends of his fingers down the edge of his pockets. “So - I thought I’d come have a look where you work, seeing as you like to spend so much time here.”

Axel was pretending he was just teasing, but there was something pained in the way he said it. It looked like he was trying very hard to smile.

I couldn’t say a single thing in response. I was completely overwhelmed by the idea Axel had been unable to sleep just because of me. He couldn’t possibly have meant that seriously. Maybe he was trying to get a reaction out of me for his own entertainment.

He certainly wouldn’t have been the first.

I was fascinated by the way Axel was twisting his thumbs through his belt loops.

“Like I said, it’s nothing personal, Axel.” I stammered awkwardly. Now I knew for sure my cheeks were pink. I could feel them burning when Axel seemed determined to stare longingly at my mouth.

“I know.” Axel continued to edge closer, and I wanted to back away but I couldn’t seem to move my feet at all. “Can I ask you something?” Axel’s voice was quiet. He looked so shy when he leaned his body in towards me.

I could hear the sound of irregular breaths passing through those slightly parted lips, drawn in by the luring scent of his body. There was no way I could have stopped myself now, even if I wanted to.

“’Cause I feel like I’m losing my mind here. I need to know, Cas.” Axel pleaded with me as much with his eyes, as with his mouth.

“Could there be… something… here between us, or am I imagining it?” I felt my whole body go cold and I couldn’t breathe.

“Am I imagining it?” Axel continued with a sigh and he inhaled a deep breath when I shook my head silently and turned my face away.

I thought my heart was going to burst. I was all too used to feeling scared, but this was something else I never felt before. I could hear my own blood pumping in my ears and sense my body shivering with anticipation. Axel made it abundantly clear he wanted to touch me again and moved in like he was subconsciously circling injured prey.

“Has anyone ever kissed you before?”