Finding Home

Chapter 9: Last Days

A week had passed since the night Isabel and Lorenzo shared together, and it had been a long and difficult week for both of them. Isabel had been avoiding Lorenzo since then, not wanting to face the awkwardness that had crept up between them. She had been keeping herself busy with school work and other activities, but the truth was that she couldn't stop thinking about him. The weight of her depression was bearing down on her like a heavy blanket. She felt isolated and alone, like no one could understand what she was going through. The voices in her head told her that she wasn't good enough, that she was a burden to everyone around her.

She tried to push the thoughts away, focusing on her textbooks and on the moments she knew were true, but the words blurred together on the page, becoming meaningless. The light filtering in through the window was muted, like the world outside was moving on without her.

Isabel's thoughts drifted to Lorenzo once again, the memory of their night together haunting her. She didn't know where they stood, and the uncertainty added to her feelings of inadequacy. She wondered if he regretted what had happened between them, if he saw her as a broken mess.

The more she dwelled on it, the more her insecurities took hold. She felt like she was drowning, suffocating under the weight of her own mind. Tears streamed down her face as she walked towards the library, feeling lost and alone.

Isabel knew she needed help, but the thought of reaching out terrified her. She didn't want to burden anyone else with her problems, and the fear of being judged or rejected kept her from seeking the support she so desperately needed. The weight of her sadness was too much to bear, and she knew that she couldn't keep going like that. She needed to find the courage to open up, to let someone in and help her navigate the darkness that threatened to consume her. But deep down she knew that there was only one person she would trust enough to tell something this big. Despite confiding in Lorenzo about most of her past, she has never been vocal about her sadness. Part of her believed that the reason for that was because, despite reading about it and it sounded like depression, she never wanted to get diagnosed. She simply told herself she could not afford to be depressed and she had no one to rely on and went with it. Obviously, at times like this, she knew how stupid that was, but she lived this far, right ?

Marco was sitting next to Isabel in the university's library, trying to focus on his textbooks while she seemed lost in thought. After a few minutes, he couldn't take it anymore and turned to her.

"Hey, Izzy, you seem a bit down lately. Everything alright?" he asked, concerned.

Isabel snapped out of her thoughts and forced a smile. "Yeah, everything's fine. Just a bit tired from all the assignments and stuff," she replied, avoiding eye contact.

But Marco wasn't buying it. "Is that all? Lorenzo mentioned that you've been avoiding him lately. What's going on?"

Isabel's heart sank at the mention of Lorenzo's name. She had been trying so hard to push him out of her mind, but it seemed like he was always there, in the back of her head, haunting her. She took a deep breath before answering.

"I don't know, Marco. I just need some space right now," she said, her voice barely above a whisper.

Marco raised an eyebrow. "Space from Lorenzo? Why? Did something happen?"

Isabel hesitated for a moment before shaking her head. "No, nothing happened. It's just...complicated."

Marco leaned back in his chair and crossed his arms. "Complicated how?"

"It's a long story," Isabel replied, looking down at her hands. "But let's just say that it is better this way, there is no point in dwelling as I am leaving in 2 months anyway, besides he could have tried harder to seek me.

Marco frowned. "That doesn't sound like Lorenzo. Are you sure there's not some kind of misunderstanding?"

Isabel shrugged. "I don't know, Marco. All I know is that I need some time to figure things out. And I can't do that with him around."

Marco nodded in understanding. "Okay, I get it. But just know that I'm here for you, okay? If you ever need to talk, I'm here."

Isabel managed a small smile. "Thanks, Marco. I appreciate it."

As Isabel sits there, staring blankly at the wall, Marco places a hand on her shoulder, drawing her attention back to him. He gazes deeply into her eyes and says, "Isabel, you know I care about you. And I know you care about Lorenzo. So why are you letting your fears control you?"

Isabel looked away, biting her lip. "It's not that simple, Marco. You don't understand."

"Maybe I don't," he admits. "But what I do know is that two months with someone you care about is more than a lifetime of loneliness. You've been through a lot, I get it. But don't let that hold you back from what could be the greatest thing in your life."

Isabel sighed, tears streaming down her face. "I want to believe that, Marco. I really do. But what if it all falls apart? What if I get hurt ?"

Marco's expression softens as he leans closer to her. "That's a risk we all take when we open our hearts to someone. But what's the alternative? Living a life of fear and regret? Is that really living?"

Isabel shook her head, tears still flowing down her cheeks. "No, it's not."

Marco took her hand, giving it a gentle squeeze. "Then don't let your fear control you. Life is too short to waste on 'what ifs'. You deserve to be happy, Isabel. And if Lorenzo makes you happy, then go for it. Don't let anything hold you back."

Isabel smiled, without knowing the real reason Marco's words had hit home. And she would at least stop avoiding him.

Lorenzo, on the other hand, had no way of contacting Isabel. He didn't own a phone and had no social media presence. He was used to living without these things. He had always been cautious about technology and its potential to be used against him, knowing that it could be a way for his father's men to track him. The only phone he had was a burner phone that his father contacted him with, and he made sure to leave it at home as much as possible. He knew that there were always eyes and ears on him, and owning a phone would only make it easier for his father to keep tabs on him. All his friends laughed at his choices, but he felt it was necessary for his own safety. But now he was starting to regret not having a way to reach out to Isabel. He had been trying to see her at school, but she always seemed to be busy studying or running places.

Lorenzo had waited long enough. He couldn't bear the thought of another day without seeing Isabel. With a deep breath, he walked up the steps to the front door of her dorm and knocked on the door. After a few moments, the door slowly creaked open and Isabel appeared, looking surprised and nervous at the sight of him.

"Hey," Lorenzo said softly, his voice barely above a whisper. "Can I come in?"

Isabel hesitated for a moment before nodding, stepping back to let him in. The air in the house was thick with tension as they made their way to the living room, both of them avoiding eye contact.

"What's been going on with you, Isabel?" Lorenzo asked, breaking the silence. "You've been avoiding me for days."

"I'm not avoiding you," Isabel replied, still not looking at him. "I've just been really busy with schoolwork."

"That's not it," Lorenzo said firmly, stepping closer to her. "You've been distant and I can't ignore it anymore. What's going on?"

Isabel sighed, her shoulders slumping in defeat. "I don't know, Lorenzo. I just...I don't want to mess things up between us."

"What do you mean?" Lorenzo asked, his voice gentle.

"I mean...I am a mess," Isabel admitted, her voice cracking with emotion. "I don't want to lose your friendship and have been overthinking about our night. I know you want to be free, but I don't know what to do. I don't want to hurt anymore."

Lorenzo reached out and took her hand, pulling her towards him. "Isabel, I'm not going anywhere. You don't have to be scared of me. I'm here for you, no matter what."

Tears streamed down Isabel's face as she finally looked up at him, the weight of her emotions too much to bear any longer. Lorenzo held her tightly, not saying a word, but his presence and warmth were enough to bring her some comfort.

Lorenzo sat beside Isabel on her bed, his heart pounding in his chest as he tried to find the right words to say. "Isabel, we need to talk about all this," he said, his voice soft and gentle.

Isabel looked away, refusing to meet his gaze. "It's not necessary for us to continue this," she said, her voice trembling with emotion. "I'm leaving soon, and this will be over."

Lorenzo's heart clenched in his chest at her words. "That's not necessarily true," he said, his voice firm and resolute. "We have 4 weeks together."

Isabel looked up at him in shock. "4 weeks?" she repeated, her voice filled with disbelief. ''I am still here for 2 months actually''

Lorenzo nodded. "Yes, but actually only four weeks for me, as my classes will end earlier than yours, and I need to go straight after to help my father" he explained, and Isabel cried even harder at the realization that their time was even shorter than she thought.

"I'm sorry," he added, his voice filled with regret. "I didn't want to add to your distress, but I love you. I can't stay away from you. I want to make the most of the time we have together."

Isabel looked at him, tears streaming down her face. "I love you too," she said, her voice barely above a whisper.

Lorenzo gently took her hand, and they sat in silence for a few moments. No words were needed at that moment as they both knew what was at stake.

"I don't want to lose you," Lorenzo finally said, breaking the silence. "We have to make the most of these four weeks. We can't waste a single moment."

Isabel nodded, still crying softly. "I don't want to lose you either," she said, her voice filled with emotion. "I'll try to be better, I promise."

Lorenzo grinned and said ''you are already perfect in my eyes.''

Lorenzo leaned in and kissed her softly, and Isabel leaned into him, her tears mixing with his. They both knew that the next four weeks would be intense and emotional, but they were determined to make the most of the time they had left together.

As they continued kissing, their bodies pressed against each other, and their desire grew stronger. Lorenzo pulled back slightly, looking deep into Isabel's eyes, and whispered, "I want you, Isabel. I need you." Isabel's heart raced as she looked back into his eyes, feeling the same intensity of desire as he did.

"Take me, I am yours!" she said softly, her voice barely above a whisper.

Their lips met again, and their kisses became more frenzied, each trying to express their passion and love for the other. Lorenzo's hands moved down her back, and Isabel's fingers tangled in his hair as they pressed their bodies closer together. They knew they couldn't have forever, but in this moment, they were lost in each other, consumed by the intense desire they shared.