THE LUNA WHO WALKED AWAY

Chapter 3: Ghosts at the table

CHAPTER THREE: Ghosts at the Table

Judith's POV

Elena arrives at noon with medical supplies and a face full of questions she is too kind to ask immediately.

She sets her bag on the kitchen table and gestures for me to sit, her movements efficient and practiced. Elena was my closest friend before I left, the only person besides Benjamin who knew about my mother's death and the strange circumstances around it, though I never told her about the curse. Looking at her now, at the silver threading through her dark hair and the new lines around her eyes, I realize seven years changed everyone, not just Benjamin and me.

"Let me see how bad it is," Elena says gently, pulling out instruments I recognized from pack medical facilities. "Benjamin said you collapsed at the border, and You look like you have not eaten properly in months."

I hold out my arm for the blood pressure cuff and try not to flinch when she touches me. Physical contact with anyone except Benjamin hurts now, the broken bond making my skin hypersensitive to touch that is not from my mate.

Elena notices my reaction and her lips press into a thin line. "How long have you been deteriorating?"

"About three years," I admit, watching her face for judgment. "It started slowly, just tiredness and some pain, but it got worse after the four-year mark. The last six months have been brutal."

She checks my vitals in silence and I see her medical mind working through the implications. When she finally speaks, her voice is carefully neutral. "You should be dead already. A severed mate bond usually kills within two years, but you are still there and relatively functional. What have you been doing to survive?"

I hesitate because explaining means revealing how much I researched the curse, how much I prepared for this possibility, but Elena is studying me with the sharp eyes of a healer who will not accept lies.

"I found herbs that slow the deterioration," I say quietly. "A mixture that suppresses the bond just enough to keep me alive but not enough to heal. I have been taking it daily for three years and slowly increasing the dose as my body adapts."

Elena's eyes widened. "That is incredibly dangerous, Judith. Suppressing a mate bond with herbs can cause permanent damage to your wolf and if you miscalculate the dosage, you could die from toxic buildup in your system."

"I know," I say simply. "But dying slowly gave me time to find the ritual and come back here. Dying fast would have just left Benjamin stuck with a ghost bond forever."

She finishes her examination and packs away her supplies with movements that are a little too precise, a sign she is upset but trying to hide it. When she sits across from me, her healer mask cracks enough that I see the friend underneath.

"Why did you really leave?" Elena asks, and there is no accusation in her tone, just genuine confusion. "Everyone knew you loved Benjamin, knew you wanted to be Luna, and then you just vanished. The pack searched for weeks thinking you were kidnapped or hurt, and Benjamin nearly went feral before Marcus convinced him to accept that you left by choice."

The image of Benjamin going feral because of me makes my chest ache. I look down at my hands and trace the faint scars on my knuckles from the night I cut myself trying to destroy my mother's journals before I lost my nerve.

"I left because staying would have hurt him worse," I say, which is true even if it is not the complete truth. "There are things in my bloodline that make me dangerous to an alpha's mate, things that would have destroyed him and the pack eventually. I thought leaving was the kindest option."

Elena reaches across the table and covers my hand with hers, ignoring my sharp intake of breath at the contact pain. "Did you ever think that maybe Benjamin would rather have faced danger with you than spend seven years thinking he was not enough to make you stay?"

The question cuts deep because I did think about it, spent countless nights agonizing over whether I made the right choice, but fear of the curse always outweighed every other consideration. I look up at Elena and let her see the truth in my eyes.

"I was trying to protect him," I whispered. "Maybe I protected him the wrong way, but I was trying."

Elena squeezes my hand once and then releases it, standing to gather her things. "Benjamin asked me to check on you every day until the ritual. I will come back tomorrow afternoon, but if you have any sudden pain or weakness, use the phone Marcus left you to call the pack house immediately. Your condition is unstable enough that you could crash without warning."

She pauses at the door and turns back with an expression I cannot quite read. "For what it is worth, I think you were stupid to leave and stupid not to tell him the truth, but I also think you are brave for coming back. Not many people would walk into a situation this painful by choice."

She leaves before I can respond, and I sit alone in the cottage again, her words echoing in the silence. Brave or stupid, I am not sure if there is much difference anymore.

The afternoon drags by, and I force myself to eat the food Marcus brought earlier, chicken and vegetables that taste like ash in my mouth. My appetite disappeared years ago along with most of my strength, but Elena's warnings about staying functional make me choke down enough to count as a meal.

At six thirty, Marcus returns with clothes draped over his arm and an apologetic expression. "Benjamin sent these for tonight. He said to tell you that pack formal does not mean what it used to, it is just nice enough to show respect."

I take the dress and recognize it immediately as one I left behind seven years ago, a deep blue that used to be my favorite. The fact that Benjamin kept it, that he did not burn or throw away everything I abandoned, makes my eyes sting with tears. I refused to let fall in front of Marcus.

"Thank you," I managed, and Marcus nodded once before heading back out to his post by the front door.

I shower and dress with mechanical efficiency, braiding my hair into something presentable and using makeup to hide the worst of the dark circles under my eyes. The woman staring back at me from the mirror looks like a ghost wearing Judith Foster's face, thin and pale and already halfway to the grave, but the dress fits well enough to hide how much weight I lost.

At exactly seven, Benjamin knocks on the door and I open it to find him dressed in dark slacks and a white shirt that makes his eyes look impossibly green. He takes in my appearance with an expression I cannot read, something that might be pain or anger or both, and then offers his arm with cold formality.

"Ready?" he asks, and I nod because I am as ready as I will ever be for this particular torture.

We walk to the pack house in silence and I feel eyes watching from windows and shadows, pack members curious about Luna, who ran and came back dying. The mate bond hums between us with every step and I catch Benjamin's slight wince when it pulls particularly hard, a reminder that this proximity hurts him too, even if he hides it better.

The packed house dining room is exactly as I remember it, long wooden tables and warm lighting that makes the space feel like home. Fifteen senior wolves are already seated, and the conversation dies the moment Benjamin and I enter together.

I recognize most of the faces, older now but still familiar, and I see reactions ranging from shock to hostility to cautious welcome. Marcus stands from his seat beside a pretty woman I do not know and gestures to two empty chairs at the head table.

Benjamin guides me to my seat with his hand barely touching my elbow, the minimal contact required by politeness, and then takes his own chair. The room stays silent, and I realize everyone is waiting for him to speak first, to explain why the bond-breaker is sitting in his right hand like she still has some claim to the position.

"This is Judith Foster," Benjamin says, his voice carrying alpha authority that makes everyone sit straighter. "She has returned to request my assistance with a ritual that will complete the severance of our mate's bond permanently. I have granted her thirty days on pack while I consider her request. During that time, she will attend pack functions and be treated with the basic courtesy we show all guests."

He does not say she will be treated with respect or kindness, just courtesy, and I understand the distinction. I am here on sufferance, not welcome, and everyone is free to make their feelings known within the boundaries of basic politeness.

An older man at the far end of the table clears his throat. "Alpha, with respect, why would you consider helping someone who brought such dishonor to the pack? Let her die from her own choices and be done with it."

The blunt cruelty made several people gasp, but Benjamin just nodded like he expected the question. "Because a complete severance will free me as well. Right now, I am still technically bound to a mate who rejected me, and that affects my ability to form new bonds. Helping Judith benefits the pack as much as it benefits her."

His logic is sound, and I see people nodding in acceptance even if they are not happy about it. Benjamin signals for dinner to be served and conversation gradually resumes around us, though many eyes keep drifting to me with open curiosity.

The woman beside Marcus leans forward and offers me a tentative smile. "I am Sophie, Marcus's mate. We bonded three years ago. It is nice to finally meet you. I have heard many stories."

Her kindness feels like water in a desert and I return her smile with genuine warmth. "Nice to meet you too, Sophie. I hope the stories were not all terrible."

"Only half of them," she says with a light laugh, and I see Marcus shoot her a fond look that speaks of deep affection.

Dinner progresses with painful slowness and I push food around my plate more than I eat it, too aware of Benjamin's rigid posture beside me and the weight of judgment from everyone watching. An older woman directly across from me finally addresses me with a voice like flint.

"You broke a sacred bond," she says flatly. "You committed the worst betrayal possible between mates. What makes you think you deserve help now?"

The room goes deadly quiet, and I feel Benjamin tense beside me, ready to defend me even though he probably agrees with the sentiment. I set down my fork and met the woman's eyes directly.

"I do not think I deserve help," I say clearly. "I know what I did was wrong, and I know I hurt Benjamin in ways I can never repair. But the ritual is not just for me, it is for him too, and I am asking for his sake, not mine. If helping me frees him to move forward with his life, then maybe some small good can come from this disaster I created."

The honesty seems to catch people off guard and I see several expressions soften slightly. Benjamin's hand clenches on the table beside mine and for just a second, his pinky finger brushes against mine in what might be an accident or might be deliberate. The contact sends electricity up my arm and makes my wolf keen with longing.

The dinner finally ends and Benjamin walks me back to the cottage in the same tense silence we came in. At the door, he stops and turns to face me, his expression unreadable in the shadows.

"You did well tonight," he says, and it sounds like the words cost him something. "Better than I expected."

"Thank you for not letting them tear me apart," I reply softly. "You did not have to defend me even a little, but you did anyway."

Benjamin shakes his head. "I defended the pack's honor, not yours, there is a difference."

He turns to leave, but I call after him, needing him to understand even if it changes nothing. "Ben, I need you to know that leaving you was the hardest thing I ever did. It felt like dying, and every day since has felt like dying, and coming back here knowing you hate me feels like dying all over again. But I would do it the same way if I had to, because keeping you safe mattered more than anything else."

He stops walking but does not turn around, his shoulders rigid with tension. When he finally speaks, his voice is so quiet I almost miss it.

"The problem is that you never asked me what I wanted. You decided my safety was more important than my choice, and that is not love, Judith. That is control dressed up as sacrifice."

He disappears into the darkness before I can respond, and I stand on the porch with my heart breaking all over again. He is right, he has been right about everything, and I have no defense except that I was terrified and twenty-one and convinced I was saving him from something worse than heartbreak.

I go inside and lock the door, lean against it until my legs give out, and slide down to sit on the floor. My phone buzzes with another message from the unknown number.

"Dinner looked cozy, does he know you are a monster?"

I deleted it by shaking hands, but the damage is done. Someone is watching, someone knows, and they are waiting for the perfect moment to destroy everything. I have thirty days to complete a ritual, repair what I can with Benjamin, and figure out who wants us both to fail.

The cottage feels like a cage, and I am the rat in the trap, waiting for the snap that will end everything.