Frail Tears

Chapter One : Before I Wake

The burial started at 5 , just a bit before sundown . Almost everyone that showed up left with tears staining their faces . My mother took a flower off of the casket for remembrance , and left quietly with her husband . It's a family tradition to keep a grave flower preserved in a special book . We've done it for generations . On top of the coffin were magnolias ; those have always been my favorite .

Once they left , the only people still there were the service workers , and my ex-boyfriend . His parents and their friends were waiting for him in their vehicle . It was getting dark , but he didn't seem to want to leave . William , his best friend , strolled up behind him , "Vince , we should go . She's in good hands ." He tugged on Vince's jacket .

He said nothing else , and after a minute passed , they finally headed toward the car . The group drove off , all of them grief-stricken . But I was left here . My body may have been unoccupied , but my soul stood there in shock . I'd just witnessed my own funeral , and watched my body being dropped onto the ground , 6 feet under , in a fancy ornament box .

"You'll get used to it ." A strange man in a grey suit said . He looked like something from a Dracula film . He stood beside my fresh gravestone . My eyes fluttered back to it :

[Della Anne Chevelle]

[ Daughter , Friend , Beloved ]

[ 1996 - 2016 ]

"What do you mean ?" I asked , my mouth still gaping at the scenery . I woke up only an hour ago , and no one knew I was there .

"Honey , don't you know you're dead ?" He spoke with a southern accent . I covered my ears ; I didn't want to hear this . He started again , "I'm sorry , I didn't mean to sound harsh about it . My name is Gideon ; I died at 42 ."

"Uh , nice to meet you , I guess . It's funny , I'm talking to the dead ." I awkwardly shifted , staring into the space beside his head . I twiddled with my fingers .

"Sweetie , you are dead ."

"Shouldn't there be a light somewhere I gotta walk through to find my next eternity ?" I asked , crossing my arms . I sat on the nearest tombstone , moving my eyes to the plot of dirt above me , above my body .

"Nope , that is it , as far as I've seen ." He brushed something off of his shoulder . It looked like a small firefly , but it didn't have any wings or make any sound .

"So , what now ? Lurking alone in the world unseen ?" I asked .

"If you choose not to be , there isn't anyone who can see you , but they have that techno crap that can hear you ." He said . He ran a hand through his white hair .

"Paranormal teams ?" I didn't need him to clarify . I've watched enough of those shows to make my own if I wanted to . I smiled wryly at that thought . I don't think I'll get to .

A mist formed beside him suddenly , and shaped into a person . A lady wearing a light blue low-cut nightgown smiled at me in the mist's place . She had long , black hair in a beautiful braid down her back . Her eyes were a bright shade of green , and she looked to be in her late twenties .

"I see you've made it to the dead realm safely ." She stated , raising her arms , palms up . She gave me the wiggins , but I still nodded , not wanting to be rude . "Olivia Jules ," She held out a hand to me . I introduced myself , but hesitated to shake her hand . With a grin , she giggled , and forced the gesture . Her hand was strangely warm and tingly . There was an energetic feel to it like static when you rub balloons into your hair .

"So how'd you die ?" She asked suddenly , excited to have some company . The words hurt like a dull ache in my stomach , but as far as I could tell , they were true . If this had been a dream , I'd have woken up by now , right ?

"Umm .. I ended up in a car crash ." The memories came rushing back like I was seeing it from someone else's eyes .

She saw the look on my face , " I'm sorry . You should have time to adjust . I didn't think about it. It gets lonely when you can't talk to those you care about ." She hung her head as she spoke . I'm sure she's had enough time to try . When I woke up in the morgue , I could speak , but no one was listening . No one could hear me cry out .

"No , I forgive you . I have a feeling I'm going to be like this for a while . It's nice to have a friend right now ."

She perked up instantly , and started to twirl . She danced around an obviously annoyed Mr. Gideon, who rolled his eyes and misted away , disappearing into the soft wind . I strode up to my headstone . I looked at the details closer , and a rose was etched into the bottom left corner . It had a border of vines engraved all around the words announcing who rested here , that I rested here .

My head started to hurt . I knew people were crying . It was like being a crowded hallway where everyone was talking . I pushed my palms into my temples, not sure where the sudden migraine was coming from .

"You're being thought of , sweetie . Let it flow , and don't fight it . It will hurt worse if you don't receive the messages ." Olivia appeared next to me , "When you think of someone who has passed on , they can hear your thoughts . It will get quieter when they go to sleep tonight ." Her reassuring words did the best they could . I made a point to drown them out since I couldn't focus on any of them . It was all loud mumbles .

I nodded again , not sure what to say . Olivia started humming , and sat on the grass . I joined her .

"Who was that last guy waiting ?"

"Hmm ? Oh , " I frowned . I wouldn't get to talk to him anymore , let alone about all of this .

"That was Vince Mason . I loved him ." I saw a flash through my mind . It felt like I was looking through his eyes . He was holding a picture of me . I felt connected to him , somehow . The picture he had was one he took on a really old Polaroid we found in my mom's basement . We went snooping for board games that day , and ended up kissing on the spare couch down there .

He was thinking of me , but there were so many thoughts running through my mind , I couldn't keep up . His thoughts got lost among the rest .

"You must really care about him ." She observed the pain on my face . I nodded softly , and looked at the ground . I held my knees to my chest , and laid my chin on top . I was disassociating so I could drown out the noise that was only getting louder .

"Would you like to talk about it ?" She sounded like she genuinely meant it , or maybe she was only curious . I shook my head , " No , but I'd like to see him ."

"Oh ! I knew I had forgotten something ! I can show you the ropes on this spirit thing ! Down from simple haunting to moving things , to evaporating , and even speaking through people !" Olivia looked so eager . Her eyes lit up like a Yule tree .

"Evaporating ?" I asked cautiously .

"Yeah , when Gideon flew away . It looked like a bunch of dust stirred up in the air ."

"Orbing ?" I continued .

"That little speck on his shoulder earlier . That was me . I was a little orb of my existing energy . I do that from time to time so I can mess with him . He pretends he doesn't like being bothered , but I know he's alone over here ." She explained .

"That firefly-looking thing was you ?" I didn't want to believe that . Then again , I'm a ghost , talking to a ghost , so I guess it can't get anymore unbelievable than that . Olivia nodded , and stood up .

"It's freaky , but true . It's fun when you get to do it , but it also takes a lot of practice ." She held out a hand to me , but just before I took it , Olivia evaporated into a mist . Her body parts completely came apart in little specks that looked like a fog of her color . I heard her giggle at my shock , and I guessed this is what she meant .

I shook my head , and searched around me for traces of her . She formed back into her human shape behind me . She began twirling again toward the cemetery gates . I followed , walking . When we reached it , I tried grabbing the gate , but my hand went right through the bars . So much for using doors .

"So we just walk right through ?"

Olivia gave me a huge grin , approving my question . I clinched my eyes shut , and stepped carefully through . I had almost reached the sidewalk when something stopped me . I couldn't reach the concrete ; it felt like there was a wall in my way .

"I can't .. " My voice trails off .

"Okay , hang on , Della ." She disappeared , and was gone for just a minute before she came back from her evaporated form . Beside me , she held out her hand .

"When you die , " She explained , " They bury you in your things . It could be a ring or a photo . What you feel most connected to , you should keep with you , or you're stuck . You'll be bound to the area , and wherever that object is, is where you should be . It's sort of like a talisman ."

She gave me what she had , and I turned it over in my palms . It was my scorpion necklace . I wore it every day , not even taking it off to sleep .

"Since you have all these bug tattoos , I figured this was it ." She gestured to the tiny trinket . "Uh , they placed it so neat around your neck , I didn't notice when I took it off . I rolled your head to the side .." She trailed off with an ashamed look on her face , and cast her eyes down .

My brows scrunched , thinking for a second . Then I realized what she was saying . My head had been severed in the crash . If my face wasn't already pale , I'm sure it turned Casper instantly . I reassured her , " It's fine .. Um , I'm not in my body any more so it shouldn't matter . I'm not using it ." I quickly put my necklace on .

The necklace had its own little glow in a soft little green color . Once I clasped it in place, the energy held within it joined mine like it was coming home . I felt kind of complete wearing it . I remember when I first acquired it . My best friend at the time knew I loved the cool kinds of insects . The scorpion was especially on my love list , because scorpions were my dad's favorite pets . He was an awesome person . He didn't have much to fear .

"Okay ," Her eyes lit up a bit , "Do you want a lesson in evaporating ?" She was really looking forward to this teaching thing . I'm sure she's helped other souls find their way around here . I feel overwhelmed by everything though . She would understand , right ?

"Olivia , I'm sorry , but can we just walk ?" I'm extremely new to this , and I want a minute to digest it . The news of my death , my funeral I attended , the upsetting fact that I couldn't talk to any of my family - it was all sinking in , but it was sinking in very slowly .

"Let's walk then ." She said . I'm sure she saw my hesitation . So we walked in silence .