Life Under the Hijab

Hijab

Hajar Khalid

I couldn't believe how much my life sucked now. First, I got bullied in school, and then my father was dying. My life was in shambles at this point.

Zaynub started stroking my head as I sob into her already wet chest. School had been really tough ever since I started wearing the hijab. Kids always bullied me and they said such nasty things. The whole school believed that I was a freak. I know Allah is testing me, but it got hard sometimes.

Ya Allah, please ease my pain. I loved Baba. He was such an amazing man. He didn't deserve to go like this. I needed Baba. I didn't want to get bullied. I wanted to be a good Muslimah. I wanted to be like Zaynub, strong and beautiful. I was neither of those. I was so weak. No, I shouldn't think like that. Allah made me who I am and I should be happy.

"It's going to be alright," whispered Zaynub.

"H-How?" I asked.

"Allah will help us," she replied calmly.

"Zaynub?" my voice came out thin.

"Hmm?" she said while stroking my head.

"Do you like wearing the hijab?" I asked.

"I love it," she said.

I got up to look at her. "Why?" I asked.

"Because I am wearing it for my Creator. I am pleasing him. I'm being modest and humble. When I wear my hijab it reminds me that I'm a Muslim. That I have been sent down here for a purpose. I am being tested. It's a promise I make to Allah and myself. Plus, it makes me beautiful because I am doing the right thing," she smiled.

I stared at her in shock. The hijab meant so much to her. I wanted to be just like that. I loved the meaning behind the hijab, I just didn't like the struggles that came with it from society's pressures on who I should be, yet Zaynub didn't seem like she even care about that. Zaynub didn't care about what others thought of her, she only cared about Allah and His commands.

While I was deep in my thoughts the doctor came into the waiting room. Everyone stood up. The look on the doctor's face was enough evidence for me to know that he was going to say something that would really crush me on the inside.

"I'm afraid I have terrible news," he said.