Hide Me In Your Thoughts

Chapter 5- No Secrets

Song- Hope by Daughter

…/…

“Oh, don’t put it that way. It didn’t bother me as much as you think it did,” I said to him. “You have to understand the fact that I know you, Lily. I know when you’re angry, I know when you’re tired, and I know when you’re hurt”.

I couldn’t help but think of his last statement and how deep it was. When I don’t respond verbally to what he says, he adds, “I’m sorry”. “Why?” I ask almost immediately. “The call was a really big deal because I don’t think I would’ve been able to sleep without it and my not acknowledging it was very wrong. So yeah, I’m sorry”.

I sighed in response and said, “Why didn’t you acknowledge it? I know why you're sorry, but what I don't know is why you didn't say anything”. "I don't know how to explain it. I wanted to, I really wanted to. It just kinda slipped my mind I guess". I look at him in disbelief and say, "Fine," in a hurried attempt to end the conversation.

“Please forgive me. I’d never forgive me if you don’t,” he says, knowing fully well that I hadn’t let go. “You’re way too dramatic”. “Only for you babe,” he responds. That right there is the sole reason I can’t stay angry at him. When he goes on and says stuff like that, even though he has a girlfriend, it makes me forget the reason for my entire existence.

“So, we’re cool now?” he asks. “Meh,” I reply, shrugging my shoulders and looking outside the window. “Alright, off to Orange’s”. I smile when he says that, but I don’t let him see that I’m smiling. After a while, I say, “I like that you know me”. “I know,” he replies.

…/…

As I opened the door to my house, I was greeted by Jane's smile. "Oh! I can't remember the last time I saw you two. Hi," she says to Mace and me, smiling way more than she should. "Hi. Hey," Mace and I said, respectively. Then I whisper, "I saw her last month, it's not that long ago". We walk past her, into the living room where Harry and Collin are seated.

“Hi, guys. Uhm Lily, Jane is around,” Harry announces and quickly adds, “Before you go on about how you don’t like her coming here and stuff, I just want you to know that I didn’t tell her to come. She just came”. “Yeah, cause she thought you were cheating,” Collin added.

As well as I know, Collin and I share the same amount of dislike towards her as we do for our worst movies or books. Mace is just indifferent, but he knows better than to tell me that. This strong feeling of dislike that we have towards her didn’t just appear. No one should treat their significant other the way Jane treats Harry, and we always tell him that he can do better.

“I know she’s around, we already saw her. I just don’t want to see her touching what she’s not meant to touch or going around the house aimlessly. Plus, my room is totally off-limits”. “Yes ma’am,” Harry replies.

“I don’t want to have to be smiling when I actually don’t want to smile,” I said to Mace as we left their presence. “But you don’t smile. A blind person would be able to tell that you don’t like her. I’m pretty sure she knows that already”. “Good,” I replied, with a tone of finality.

…/…

“What do you say we continue reading this amazing book?” Mace says to me. My guess is he’s trying to make me forget about this morning’s issue completely and he might not know it yet, but it’s working. “Did you bring the book?” I ask in utmost delight. “You bet I did”.

I look away for a while, biting my lip. “Okay, what are you thinking of?” he asks. I knew that the habit gave me away but I didn’t care. “Look, a part of me wants to read it just to find out what happened to the neighbor, but at the same time, I don’t want to part with the book, at least not yet”.

“I totally understand how you feel and you know I do. Okay, how about we don’t read it today but we read it tomorrow,” he suggests. “Till tomorrow,” I say. “Till tomorrow”.

“So while we’re waiting till tomorrow, what do you suggest that we do today?” he asks. “We could always…” My voice is cut off by my personalized ringtone for Joyce, Lollipop by Chordettes. “Oh, it’s Joyce, I’m about to get all the juicy details about the new neighbor,” I exclaim.

“Hey,” I say. “Hey. Window,” she replies, and I immediately get the message. I walked to the window with the phone stuck between my shoulder and my ear. I can see her grabbing the ladder, resting it on the wall so she’d be able to climb to my room.

I opened the window from inside and Joyce climbed in. “Hey,” she said to Mace. “So, how’s the new neighbor?” I asked, hoping she would spill. “Oh, the sister is absolutely adorable. The brother, however”. “Is he cute?” I asked. “Cute? Cute? That’s not the point. He’s annoying”. “So, he’s cute,” I said.

“Why are you so interested?” Mace asks from behind me. I looked at him just to see how much he was affected by what I was doing and by the look on his face, he was bothered. “Yeah, why’d you want to know so badly? don’t you…” I cut Joyce off by putting my hand over her mouth and glaring at her.

She tries to talk but I end up dragging her to the bathroom so Mace wouldn’t hear whatever was about to come out of her mouth. “What happened to ‘No Secrets’ Lily?” is the last thing he says as I shut the door to the bathroom.

“What was that?” I said when I removed my hand from her mouth. “What?”. “You were about to say that I had a crush on someone. Joyce, Mace doesn’t know that yet”. “Huh? And I know? Wow, that's a lot. Plus, something isn’t right”.

She looks at me, narrowing her eyes, trying to figure out the missing piece. “Look, there’s really nothing to it. I just don’t want him to know, at least not yet”. “Fine,” she says. After a few seconds of silence, she adds, “So, I know something that Mace doesn’t. How cool!”

“Just shush!” I said as I opened the door for us to go into the room. I wasn’t entirely shocked to see Mace standing outside the door with his face close to the door. “I totally heard everything you guys said,” he says. “Of course you did,” I replied.

“C’mon Liles, you gotta tell me,” he whines. “It’s a girls' thing,” I reply. “When has that ever stopped you? What makes this so different?”. “It’s much worse than the ones I used to tell you,” I said, hoping that he’d leave me alone.

He leaves me alone for a few seconds, walking away, then he turns back suddenly, and says, “Please,” dragging it out. I rolled my eyes and exclaimed, “Boys!”.

“Is Harry around?” Joyce asks. “Yeah, he’s downstairs with Collin and Jane”. “Wait, Annoying Jane?” she says in a hurry. “Yeah, his girlfriend Jane,” I reply. I knew she was going to be hurt by the way I called her his girlfriend, but that’s the truth; the sad truth.

“Don’t worry, I know that one day he'll come to his senses and realize that she’s not the best for him”. “I hope so too, cause she’s really annoying,” I said, and Joyce laughed a little. I looked over in Mace’s direction to see him busy with his phone. “Who are you texting?” I asked him. “I am most certainly not telling, since we’re keeping secrets from each other now”. I laugh and say, “How mature of you!”

…/…

After spending hours doing homework, I sit up and say, “I’m done. I’m bored”. “Well, what’d you want to do?”. “You always ask this and I’m sure you know I don’t know what I want to do,” I replied. “I’m trying to help,” he says in defense. “I know. I should’ve gone with Joyce to see the cute neighbor”.

Immediately after, my phone’s screen lights up showing a text message from Carl, “I’m outside and you have ten minutes to get here or I’m leaving without you”. My face lights up with a smile and I start dressing immediately.

“What’s going on?” Mace asks as he stands up. “I have a date, that’s what’s going on”. “What? How? With whom? Is that what you guys were talking about in the bathroom?”. “No,” I replied, with my eyes wide. “Or maybe,” I added.

The whole time I'm dressing up and styling my hair, I’m trying to read his reaction. “You know if I don’t approve of him, you can’t go out with him,” he says. “Oh really?” I responded. "Did I approve of yours?" I asked. "That's a different thing," he says. "Of course," I responded. “Yeah”.

He leaves the room with me and follows me to the door just to see the ‘supposed’ mysterious guy. “Okay, just don’t get too weird when you see him. Don’t scare him away”. “Whatever,” he replies. I could already sense the jealousy seeping in, and that made me happy. It meant whatever I was doing was working.

“Huh?” he says, as I open the door.