Hide Me In Your Thoughts

Chapter 3- Together? Maybe.

Song- Rivers and Roads by The Head And The Heart

.../…

"Hold up, are we talking about actual feelings? You actually like this person in question,” Joyce says, after a few seconds of silence. My guess is that she had to take time to process that simple sentence that I told her. “Yes, I do, but honestly, I don’t want to admit it. I just know I’m feeling something”.

I could understand the shock that was written all over her face. I was surprised too when I came to the realization. The sole reason for her shock is because of a statement I made after Roberts kissed me in 9th grade. I said I was never going to kiss a guy again and told myself I wouldn’t have feelings for anyone, and even though I knew that would be impossible, I stayed so true to the statement that they were all starting to believe I was made of stone and now, I’m openly confessing that I like someone.

“Whoa! This is a lot to take in,” she says while trying to find a chair in the kitchen to sit on. “I know I know, I think I’m still shocked”. “Hold up, is it Ire?” She says, eyes wide. “No, why?”. “You said you like him today, in the pool”.

“No, it’s not Ire. I don’t even think I’m ready to tell you who it is yet”. “What!? You can’t do that to me,” she laments. “I can and that’s what I’m going to do. It’s just better this way. One big reveal is enough for tonight”.

She tries to coerce me into telling her with her eyes but I don’t budge, so she says, “Fine!”. “So, you actually like someone, huh? Never thought I’d see the day”. “Yeah, me too,” I replied as we made our way to my room.

“So Harry really isn’t coming back tonight?”. “Nope, he’s got stuff to do at school. You aren’t even going to talk to him about your feelings when you see him, so what’s the point,” I say as I change into my PJs. “You see, that’s what you don’t understand. It’s called delayed gratification”.

I roll my eyes at what she says. When we lay down, my phone’s screen lit up and it was a message from Mace. “Can’t sleep”. I think of what to reply to him with but nothing comes to my mind. The normal thing would’ve been to call him, but I can’t do that now as Joyce would ruin the whole purpose of the call. She’d say something that’d keep us all awake instead of making us fall asleep.

I end up typing, “You could try to read an old book”. He replies within seconds, “With Carl here? Nah. He wants us to play video games”. Typical Carl. “When does he not want to play games”. “See?” he sends.

I didn’t reply to him for a few minutes because I was thinking of what to suggest. “Can I call you?” is what I see when I check my phone again. I sigh and send, “Yeah”.

I walked out of the room quietly because Joyce was already asleep. I wear my robe and pack my hair up before I leave the room. Just as I reached the hallway, his call came through. I let it ring for a while, Labrinth’s Forever filling the once quiet hallway.

As I opened the door to the garden, I picked up the call. We didn’t say anything for a while. I could only hear him breathing. It wasn’t too loud, so it wasn’t uncomfortable or awkward. I sit on one of the egg chairs and sigh unconsciously.

“What’d you want to talk about?” I asked. “Honestly, nothing”. His voice is low and deep. I didn’t say anything for a few minutes. Then, I asked, “Are you lying down now?”. “Yeah,” he replied.

I think of the perfect song to hum and I start humming. Singing was off the table for me because my voice would sound raspy and defeat the whole purpose of trying to make him fall asleep. I hear him move around slightly, most likely looking for a better position to lie in.

“Are you okay?” I ask either way. “Yeah,” he whispers. I sigh and continue humming, freestyling when I get to certain parts. Soon enough, I could hear a change in his breathing pattern. He wasn’t sleeping already but he was starting to.

Throughout the call, my eyes are closed and I’m resting on the pillow behind me. I feel myself starting to drift into nothingness. The humming is coming out slowly now, and in the lowest of volumes, almost like whispers.

I heard myself stop for a while. I feel the urge to wake up and to continue humming but I don’t. The nothingness engulfed me and didn’t give me an avenue to fight it. My mind was starting to make up scenes in my head that would form the dream for the night. That was when I heard the doorbell.

…/…

HARRY’S POV

“Considering how late it is, I’d be surprised if she answered the door,” I said to my friend, Collin, as he got our bag from the car. “Why didn’t you just call her earlier as I told you to?”. "I was talking to Jane, I forgot completely".

He shakes his head and presses the doorbell again. Collin and I have known each other since freshman year and we’ve been roommates ever since. Most people are friends with their roommates because they were first roommates, but it’s not the same for Collin and me. We were friends at first.

“If we sleep in the car because of this, I’d never forgive you”. I look at him as he says that, then narrow my eyes. He doesn’t look back at me, instead, he looks straight ahead. I stretch my hand in an attempt to press the doorbell when the door opens.

I turned my head swiftly to see Joyce in front of me. I was shocked, but not entirely because it had almost become the normal thing for Joyce to spend the night or the week at the house.

“Hey Joyce,” I said. She manages to drag out a very sleepy response. I followed her into the house, relieved that I wouldn’t have to sleep in the car for the night. “Where’s Lily?” Collin asks. “I don’t know, somewhere around. She wasn’t in the room when I left,” she responded.

As Collin and I make our way to the kitchen, Joyce says, “Don’t bother, we didn’t make dinner. We ate at Mace’. Carl made it”. Then she goes upstairs without saying another word. “You know, I think I like this version of her. This sleepy version. She’s more relaxed”.

“That’s sweet, but you should be more worried about your sister’s whereabouts. I mean, what if she’s sneaked off somewhere; somewhere dangerous”. “Nah, she’s not that type of girl. If she wasn’t in the bathroom when Joyce left the room, then she’s probably in the library, reading some new book she’s crazy about, or in the garden”.

I couldn't blame Collin for everything he said, he was concerned. But that's the thing, he knows I'm adopted, so he'd forever have this feeling that I'm disconnected from the family. He doesn't actively do it, he doesn't even know when he does it sometimes, but I believe it'll get better with time. "Okay, I'll go check the Library, you check the garden".

His concerns made me wonder whether he had feelings for my sister for a split second there, but as quickly as the thought came into my mind, I shook it off. As I open the doors to the garden, I see her seated on one of the egg chairs, clearly asleep, with her phone stuck between her hand and a pillow. It just has to be Mace, that's the only person I know she can be talking to by this time. The only person she can fall asleep on a call with. Lily doesn't have a lot of people in her life, but the few she has, she talks a lot about.

My phone rings out loud. I remove the phone from my back pocket to see Jane's picture. "Hey, can I…" I say when she cuts me off, saying, "Har, I can't sleep". I rub my forehead with my fingers, the fatigue already seeping in. "Jane, I'll call you soon. I just need to take Lily up to her room and I need both hands to do that," I explained, with hopes that she'd actually understand. She hangs up the phone immediately and I sigh.

I walked up to Lily, picked up her phone, and put it in my pocket. Then, I carried her bridal style to her room. As I pass the hallway, Collin sees me. He sighs a sigh of relief and helps me to open the door to her room. After placing her next to Joyce on the bed, I put her phone on the bedside table, only to find out that she was still on a call with Mace and he hadn't said anything the whole time; he was asleep too. I contemplate hanging up but I know better than to meddle in their business, so instead, I leave the phone beside her head on her pillow.

"She slept off on a call with Mace," I said to Collin in the hallway. "I'm still surprised they aren't together," he replied. "Oh! They are together alright, not just together".