MEMORIES OF THE PAST

CHAPTER EIGHT

After a month of continuous check up the doctor had said that she is all better and the episodes might decrease as time goes by.

She had made a promise to herself then that she will get better for the sake of her grandmother she didn’t want the old lady sad because of her and true to it the hyperventilation were becoming less by day so did her episodes. All the way he was there helping her.

For the first time in six years she cried. She cried for all the broken promise and all the miserly that followed after he left. She cried for the memories they shared and the dreams they had together.

“You know since you left everything has been messy all around.” “You were supposed to be my pillar but you decided against that too was it too much to ask that you set light into my world. Was it?” “when you left you took away the light that was in my life and the little that was left they all shuttered it away.” Delilah said while still sobbing. Then all the miserly in her life came back to her and she started dictating everything to him.

“You know after you decided to back stab me and you left everyone thought I would go crazy but no I didn’t. God knows how bad I wanted to take away my life.” Not because I was strong but I never not once considered you gone .Delilah paused as she thought of how bad her life had gotten when she woke up one day only to realize Derik was gone and had left her all alone. She had stayed indoors for two weeks without letting anyone in. She recalled how one of the days between those two weeks she had decided enough was enough she couldn’t take it anymore. She had gone to the bathroom and smashed her mirror in order to get a piece of it. But as she tried to slit her wrist she saw his face and how mad he was and that had her dropping it and she started cursing him of how he was still influencing her life even when he already left.

“I should be hating you now,” Delilah had thought to herself, “but I can’t am still hoping that you’ll come back and that you’ll say this was just a prank or a joke, that you’ll come back to me and I’ll wake up from this nightmare” But she couldn’t bring herself to harm herself not with his face haunting her. That was when she decided to get out of that house the memories were too raw. But she still hoped he would come back and since she didn’t want him looking for her after he came back she decided to buy an apartment just opposite his that had been vacated recently. There she would be able to watch out for him. And would also look after their house. This had gone on for a while, days turned to weeks, weeks to months and he never came back. The first two months were terrible Delilah couldn’t eat, couldn’t talk all she ever did was stare into space. She was a mess she had lost weight incredibly and her leaving the house was not an option. But after a while she decided to lock her emotions and since then she hasn’t cried until today.

Since then she rarely talked. She started going out. Moved to another house far away from that neighborhood. And started making projects of her business that she would be launching soon. Though everyone thought that she was depressed she didn’t give a damn. She didn’t feel any emotions within her. She was numb to everything around and at times she kept staring into space but she kept denying of the fact that she was depressed. After three months everyone gave up and they thought she was okay. And she was or so she thought. She didn’t have her episodes so to her she was more than fine. Her not having her episodes or taking her life is what had people believe she didn’t go crazy it’s like they expected all of that but they didn’t know deep down she was hurting no matter the mask she put across. Life went on as usual and Delilah thought everything would just fall into place. She calmed down. To her Derik didn’t leave her. It’s just that he went for a vacation. That’s what she had registered in her head and it helped her go on with her life.

“After a year finally my parents started to show concern in my life but I was mistaken they all cared about themselves even back then and I should have seen it coming. They made me believe that I was their first priority finally after twenty two years of trying to gain their attention I got it even without trying to as I had already given up.

But it was all shattered after I found out that they were only thinking about themselves and not me. I should have known but I didn’t. I should have become curious as to how suddenly after twenty two years they would have suddenly become interested in my life and my well being.

I only got to find out about a month later that the only reason they were trying to be parents that they had started showing care and some love was because dad had finally quit his job and he was now in politics and he wanted to become a governor. This reason added to my many reasons why I hate anything to do with the government. Since his popularity as the best cardiothoracic surgeon would not be enough he had a duo with the states prime minister who would endorse him in his political party and for this I of course would be the sacrifice lamb and would need to get married to the son of the prime minister. And the wedding was set no matter how much I was against this they still went ahead with it. Come on we are in the twenty first century who gets to have an arranged marriage. But never the less I did. It’s not like I had a chance against it anyway and you had left so, yea I didn’t fight anymore. But still,…..

I guess I had forgotten that I never meant anything to them all they ever cared about was themselves and how the society would see them that’s why when I wanted to move in with grandma they refused and even after I was diagnosed with anxiety disorder my mum never wanted to hear of it. So basically even now whatever I say has no value to them they wouldn’t care less. I should have left the country like I had originally wanted to but I didn’t. One reason was deep down I was hoping you would come back and live up to your promises and the other was because despite their indifference towards me I still love them. But they never understood that.

And so the wedding took place and everyone new . You know how I hated being subjected to crowds but they never once thought that I might have a problem with it. You know at times I wish I had the strength to leave you before you left me maybe it wouldn’t hurt as much. Even though deep down I had a feeling that such a day would come that you would leave me I still naively believed you. No one other than my grandma new me the way you knew me. At times I wish I remained your best friend rather than agreeing to date you maybe you would still be in my life but I had to go ahead and agree to be your girlfriend.

While at the wedding cameras were in all corners I couldn’t even get a moment to myself with my mother constant reminder that I should put that attention seeking thing that I do to myself and not embarrass her or dad. Good thing was that I think for the first time God was on my side and I managed all because I was marrying you and not Liam to me you’re the groom that’s how my nerves calmed down cause as much as I don’t want to admit it even until today you are the only one with that capability to calm me.

Everything was okay with Liam as he was nice to appoint I thought that you shared similar Characters. He was patient with me and not once did he make me feel sad every now and then he would be there trying to cheer me up he went ahead to support my dream of running a modelling agency though I didn’t allow him to use his influence as I wanted to start from scratch just like how back at school I wanted my own apartment and never once did I want anyone to know my surname so that people don’t treat me in a special way. I always liked being my own person and not depend on others nor did I want the attention that came with it but you made that hard for me as I still ended up being dependent to you and each day you became more and more.

Day by day Liam started taking over the position of being a companion in my life and by the time four months were done Liam and I were best friends such that the guys even shipped our relationship they went ahead to give us a name Lilah cheesy much but I found myself giving him a chance and considering that maybe it was time I move on. All that was left of us were memories which I will hold dear. Memories which were a sign that we were never ment to be. Memories of broken promises. Memories of our story that didn’t get a happy ever after. I considered that maybe Liam is it for me and that you and me just were never meant to be. But you make moving on so hard.

As all we shared together am sharing them with someone else. It’s so hard but I gave Liam a chance and slowly by slowly started winning the little part of my heart that was left and by the time we hit seven months we were wife and husband on paper and by the eye. He was the best husband I could ask for and I started to slowly develop feelings for him. Not once did he ever treat me different he loved me as much. Everything was finally falling into place until we hit the first year anniversary…