Impossible Love

12. Being True

Mira’s POV

The week seems to move too slowly for my liking. I was looking forward to the weekend, it seemed like I couldn’t wait to spend time alone with Jay. My mind hasn’t given me a break. I can’t keep her out of my mind. The more I try to put her at the back of my mind, she finds her way back. Why is she doing this to me? Why does my heartbeat go crazy for her?

Jay had said she had something very important she wanted to discuss with me. I was wondering what it was. I was so impatient and this waiting was making my anxiety levels shoot. The way I was feeling about her was leaving me confused as each day passed.

She was so fascinating to me, I seemed to like everything she was doing for me. We have been chatting since the day we went out. She texted me at night thanking me for going with them and wishing me goodnight. Since then, we have been at it when we were not close. It was like our friendship moved up a level.

Spending more time with her made it so obvious made me notice she had her eyes on me at every opportunity she got. I had started to suspect that she was into girls, the way she was treating me. The way the ladies at the hospital were all over her was making me more curious. I just didn’t want to ask her, she might have taken it the wrong way.

Everything she was doing was screaming she liked me. I didn’t make an effort to stay clear of her. Instead, I was there trying to convince myself otherwise. You can as well admit that you like the attention. I ignored the voice in my head telling myself it was not true, but deep down I knew it was true, I just didn’t have the guts to admit it. I wasn’t sure if she was straight or not, it was rude for me to start assuming things.

On Friday afternoon, we were seated at our favorite spot with the rest of the gang. I was finally happy we were heading into the weekend. I was hoping I would talk to Jay to confirm our date and plan and the time. Army and Cody left, leaving the three of us behind.

Ally had been on our case watching us like a hawk. I wondered if Jay knew about it. I don’t know what had come over Ally.

I caught Jay looking at my thighs. That look in her eyes sent shivers down my spine. That reaction caught Ally’s attention. She had seen the whole thing, and she had a smug smile on her face.

Thank goodness, some guy from the lab called for her, and she left looking at me like I had grown horns. What is with her now? What was she expecting from me? I rolled my eyes at her.

I cleared my throat to get Jay's attention.

“Do you like it?” I asked as soon as she looked at me, which made her face warm up. A smile made its way to my lips, I knew I had caught her.

“Ye… No…yes, wait what?” I laughed at how she looked right now. I wanted to tease her more.

“So yes you do like it, huh?” I looked at her with a smile. She almost choked on the water in her mouth,

“I mean my skirt Jay, do you like it too?” I honestly wasn’t asking about my skirt, I was asking about the view. Oh, God! I am definitely losing my mind.

“Yeah I do, your skirt is so smart, it looks so sweet on you.” She said with a sly smile. I just chuckled at her behavior. I suddenly wished I could ask her about her past relationships. Does she have a boyfriend? I was wondering why I even cared.

The day was finally over, and I was looking forward to tomorrow. I simply can’t wait to spend another amazing weekend with her outside our workplace.

Saturday, meet at 10. She said she would pick me up. This time I didn’t need to explain to mum where I was going. She even gave me transport money, which I pocketed because I knew Jay would come with a car. By 9.30 am I was ready and waiting.

I didn’t wait long before I got a text from her informing me she was already there. She is even earlier. I was surprised because she is always a latecomer. Well, there is a first. Immediately after I saw her text, I left the house letting mum know I was heading out.

She was there on the road waiting for me, looking so sharp and stunning.

My lips curved into a big smile at the reaction she had when she set her eyes on me. I specifically wore the dress for her. I was thinking of this moment, for this exact look. I grinned with satisfaction in my heart.

She embraced me tightly, which I was starting to like. I hugged her back, holding her tight too. I felt like I had missed her so much, so I let myself be embraced by her for a few more seconds. I know I am playing with fire, but I didn’t seem to care at all. Maybe I should let myself get burnt. I couldn’t believe my thoughts. I was going crazy.

She let me go and opened the door for me. When I sat, my dress pulled up a bit, revealing part of my thigh. I don’t know why I didn’t try to adjust my dress, I let it stay the way it was. Jay was driving while chatting, glancing at me smiling. It’s then I looked at her keenly and her smile. Oh my, she had the perfect smile with perfect dimple. She has one dimple just like me.

She was looking at me when her eyes saw my thigh, she almost forgot she was driving and started devouring me with her eyes. There was this desire she had in her eyes. Under normal circumstances, I would have tried to cover myself, but I didn’t. Something is seriously wrong with me. What am I trying to do, now she can’t keep her eyes on the road? I could tell by the way she was swallowing she was having a hard time concentrating, but still, I didn’t make my dress. You can call me crazy.

We reached our destination 30 minutes late thanks to me and my dress. She parked the car, and we went into the building where I was picking up my glasses. It took me over 30 minutes. When I came out, she seemed to have zoned out, she seemed in pain. I sat next to her and shook her shoulder gently.

She snapped out of her frenzied state and the sadness I saw in her eyes made me sad. Noticing it was me, the sadness was replaced with one of her flashy smiles. Wow, she can change moods in a split second, but I am glad she’s smiling. I don’t want her sulking at me.

When we left, she told me we were going to some restaurant near the lake for lunch and later have a talk. She said I would enjoy the view and breeze there. I smiled inwardly. I wish my boyfriend could be more like her. She acts like a gentleman, and she’s just a lady. These are the things she does that make my heartbeat skip. The things I feel in my chest are driving me crazy. I don’t understand what is going on, I don’t get myself at all.

When we reached the restaurant, I asked her to make the order for us. To my surprise, when the food was served I realized she had ordered my favorite meal. The dishes filled the table. She was served wine, and I was served juice and water. I didn’t know Jay drinks, so I was stunned. I wanted to ask her about it but decided against it, it felt like a personal matter.

We were done with our meal, and we moved to go outside the restaurant. She said the view was so beautiful on this side. Jay reached for my hand unknowingly and led me to where we were going to sit. We sat on a mat which was covered with a blanket, with a basket full of fruits and another full of roses.

My smile brightened at the sight of roses. I loved it. She sure can make someone fall in love with her so easily. They brought us our drinks, and we continued chatting about the beautiful scenery in front of us.

Jay went silent for a while and when I looked up she had a serious look on her face. She was looking at me keenly. I knew she wanted to talk about that important thing she had told me earlier. She had a wry smile when she saw me looking at her, and she finally talked to me.

“Mira, can we talk now?”

“Sure, talk to me.” I smiled at her. I wonder what she’s going to tell me. She stayed silent a bit, she seemed conflicted.

“Jay, you know you can tell me anything, right?” I said, smiling.

“Yeah, I know that,” She sounded nervous. Whatever she wanted to say must be serious for her to behave like that.

“So go on, tell me this thing that made you take me out on a date.” She looked surprised, I guess she thought I didn’t know we were on a date.

“Mira, before I tell you anything, you have to promise me that we will remain to be friends no matter what,” She was worried. I suspected this had something to do with my suspicion. I took a moment to think.

“You don’t have to make me promise, it would be hard to lose a friend like you Jay, but I promise.” The moment I said that, she seemed relieved. No matter what you say, Jay, I don’t think I can stay away from you.

“Okay. Do you know anything about the queer community?” She was massaging her temple. I smiled mentally when I realized I was right all along. I even went online to research more about the community because of my curiosity. I knew and I still stayed. Just accept it, Mira, you like her. It is odd to even think I like her, another woman, am straight, right?

“Honestly, I have heard of them and watched several movies about them, but that is it.” I didn’t want to tell her. I went reading about it too.

“Do you have a problem with them, or what do you think about them?”

“I don’t judge them if that is what you are asking, and no, I don’t have a problem with them. I haven’t come across any of them (except for you, of course) but I know I won’t have issues with them, I’m open-minded.” And honestly, at this point, I wouldn’t care about who my friends chose to love. She was silent, and I took the chance to ask her the question that had been bugging me.

“Jay, why do you ask about this suddenly?”

“Because it concerns me because it’s who I am Mira.” She said, and I didn’t say anything, all I wanted was for her to tell me the truth. I was so proud of her right now, she was being true to herself and me.

“I’m not straight Mira, I’m into girls. I have been since 7th grade”. I was amazed she was so young at that age, but I wasn’t surprised by her sexuality. Now I was so sure. She started to panic at my silence.

“Please Mira, say something, you are scaring me.” She sounded desperate. Does she care about my opinion this much?

“Jay, I sort of knew, or more like I had my suspicions of you not being straight. I just didn’t want to assume and draw conclusions,” I sighed and continued when she didn’t say anything, “I didn’t want to ask you about it either, because I didn’t know how you would take it. I just knew if my suspicions were true you would tell me the truth eventually, in your own time.”

“How did you know? What led you to your suspicion?” She asked, impressed.

“You led me to it, the way women swam around you, the way you were treating me, the affection and care, paying my bills, pulling me chairs, protecting me from Ally, your jealous move with anyone who shows interest in me, why would you do that?” I was laughing mentally at the look on her face, it was like she was caught stealing.

“I’m sorry it took me so long to tell you the truth, I was terrified of losing you,” I was stunned by that.

“You know I wouldn’t judge you, Jay. I’m not some homophobic prick.” She should know me by now.

“But that was not my worry Mira, you walking away from me was.” I got it, she liked me, and she didn’t want to lose me. I smiled, and my heart went crazy thinking about it.

“I’m not walking away from you Jay, I promise. I would have walked away already because I had my suspicions.” Immediately I finished saying that, she got off and pulled me in and engulfed me in a tight hug, saying thank you more than I could count. I hugged her back, smiling. I was getting used to her embraces, I was enjoying this feeling. She went back to her sitting position grinning.

I looked at her with a mischievous grin. Now I wanted to tease her. When she saw the look in my eyes, she raised her brows at me.

"What?" She asked.

“No wonder women are all over you, you are like a magnet.” I was laughing my heart out.

“Stop it pretty, I’m no magnet.” She chuckled lightly. She was blushing at my words.

“I bet you already have eyes for one of them, like that nurse Pat, she always throws herself at you.” I felt a pain in my chest thinking about that stupid nurse, but I tried to smile to hide it.

“Oh, I can assure you the one I want is not showing any interest to the slightest degree.” She was grinning at me. Is she telling me indirectly that it was me she wanted? Did she see the irritation on my face? Why is she grinning at me?

“Maybe you haven’t shown her that you want her.” I said, raising my brows.

“I’ve tried, I am telling you. Either she’s blind or she doesn’t want to see my efforts whatsoever.”

“You should try more, maybe she doesn’t believe you with all those women around you, she might even think you are a womanizer.” I wanted her to know I didn’t like it, the way she allowed them near her. I didn’t like it at all. She isn’t your girlfriend Mira, get a hold of yourself. Ain’t you supposed to be straight? You have a boyfriend!

“Maybe she should’ve asked me if I was before she made any conclusions.” I guess she received my message, and she sent her own back. Damn, this woman is smart. I liked her even more. She had a point I was assuming. I didn’t understand my behavior. Honestly, I was behaving like a jealous girlfriend.

“Maybe you should enlighten her that you only have eyes for her.” I smiled at her, knowing all this time I was talking on my behalf.

“Yes mam, I got it.” she playfully moved her brows at me. I smacked her hand playfully for calling me, mam. I felt a little pain, her arm was hard. She smirked at the look on my face, and I pouted.

“You look so sexy when you pout like that,” now she was laughing, and I couldn’t take it anymore. I started raining assaults on her back. She was still laughing, and I ended up joining in the laugh. I stopped what I was doing when I realized people were looking at us oddly.

We left our spot and went for a boat ride and when we came back, we played with a family who seemed friendly. Their son seemed to like Jay. I had played all my energy out. Jay was flexible with the ball, and her servings were so powerful. I, on the other hand, I didn’t know much about volleyball, but we won because of her. I sometimes stayed out just to watch her play, her movements were precise. Lord, I pity my heart right now.

She didn’t rest even a bit. I guess it’s because of her workouts, but by the time we were done, I was the one who was so beat that she was laughing at me. I found her laugh beautiful. I smacked her severally playfully, and she pinched my cheeks. The way my heart was beating for this woman was abnormal.l have never felt like this, not even with my boyfriend. I didn’t want to accept what my heart was telling me, it felt so impossible. Could I be falling for a woman really?

I ended up sleeping all the way back home. When we got home, she shook me gently to wake me up. I opened my eyes to her beautiful smile, she told me I was home and then opened the door for me and I stepped outside.

We chatted for a few minutes, and then it was time for her to get going. For some reason, I didn’t want this day to end, but I had to let her go. We hugged and said goodbyes. I was surprised when she kissed my cheek. I was blushing, not knowing how to react.

I am falling in love, ain’t I? I stood there smiling like an i***t as she pulled away. I watched as the car disappeared and then went my way. The happiness I felt was written all over me as I walked into the house. I saw Mum in her study and I went said hi and I left her to work.

I went to my room to enjoy my happy moments. When Jay texted me she was home safe and wanted to check on me. I smiled when I read the last part.

Why is she so caring? If it was my boyfriend, he wouldn’t care to let me know he was safe or even check if I was doing fine after a long day. I was always the one calling or texting to check on him after we met or to let him know that I got home safe. She always finds a way to make me happy. Why isn’t my boyfriend like her.

I felt sad at realizing maybe I was in it with the wrong person. What would happen to me if Jay really liked me, and she wanted to be with me? Would I be able to say no to her?