Make YOU Love ME

CHAPTER 13.1: Learn

Alexa's POV

"You done?" I asked her calmly. She realized what she had said. "Thank you for letting me know about Avie. I appreciate it, I understand it very clear." I know my friends are watching us since Avery shouted.

"Allie I-"

"Don't worry, it's okay. It's good that you vent your anger on me. " I smiled at her and I patted her head. "Lets go now! The fireworks will soon start. " I walked ahead of her and dragged Sam and Kiara.

"You okay, Monkey?" Kiara asked me worriedly and I nodded.

"Of course, I am" And we arrive at a nice spot. We sat on the grass.

"Lex" Sam called me.

"Bear, I'm fine. Dont worry. Instead, I'm happy because she told me all her thoughts about me and our relationship. "

"I believe you, Monkey." I nodded at her. I texted my brother and I told him to pick me up.

"Here guys, some chips," Madie offered us, and we gladly accepted it.

The fireworks will start in 5 minutes and suddenly someone tapped my shoulders. I looked at him and it was my brother.

"Let's go Ducky." He handed me his hand and I accepted it. He helped me to stand up.

"Where are you going?" Blair unnie asked me, and they were all looking at me.

"We just have something we need to talk about." Ash answered.

"But the fireworks will soon start. Can you just stay here first, Wreyne? "

"Don't worry Ms. Halston, I'm her brother. She will be fine. We just need to go somewhere." Blair unnie sighed in defeat.

"Everyone, we are going now. See you!" I waved at them.

Ash and I walked towards the car, and we rode it. He drove to the cliff where we can see the view here in Seoul. We got out of the car and walked near the cliff.

"Let it out," Ash said. That's my cue.

I fell to my knees and Ash caught me. We sat down on the ground and I cried. This is the first time I cried. I just realized that no matter how much I try, I will never be a normal person. Ash hugged me while I cried on his shoulder. I know he was also crying because this was the first time he saw me crying.

I keep apologizing to him. I promise to him that I will live like a normal person, but even though I try, people think I'm still not normal. "Ash, I'm re...ally sorry I ca...nt live like a normal person. "

"Shsushh, it's fine, let it out. You are a normal person, Alexa, you are just gifted. " He keeps soothing me.

"I think this brain is a curse, Ash. It's a curse, not a gift." I hit my head and I kept hitting it while Asg tried to stop me. "It's a f*****g curse! I hate it! It's not a f*****g gift!"

"No, it's not Lex, it's actually a gift you are gifted. You should be a doctor because of your intelligence. You can study any course you like because you are smart."

"I hate it when Ash! Yes, I am smart, but living here in reality, I am f*****g dumb, stupid, and clueless. I hate it!! I'm living in reality using what I learned in books and websites!! I am clueless and dumb and too innocent for this reality!!! I hate it Ash I hate my brain and I hate myself!" He hugged me very tightly to stop me from hitting my head.

"Lex its fine. Stop hating your intelligence and yourself. You are learning to live in reality. It's fine to depend on books and websites. At least you are learning something. I know that you also ask some people about something because you want to learn. You are eager to know the answers to your questions in your head. People are actually envious and jealous of your intelligence because no one is as smart as you. Dont hate yourself. "

"Ash, why didn't I get attracted to anyone? Why did I not fall in love? Why does everyone want to love me? Why do they always expect me to love them if they love me? Why do they always want something back? Can they just love me for the sake of loving me, even if they can get something in return? Can I just receive some love? I only want to feel loved without asking for a return. Why can't they just give it to me? I have never felt complete in my whole life. I just want love, that's all I want. I don't need any material things, I just want love. Is that a sin? Asking for love without giving something in return. Is that what you call selfishness? Tell me oppa honestly."

"No, it is not a sin, Lex. You just want to feel love because you never got that from your real family. You have experienced a lot of things since you were a child. You feel that your father never loved you because he never said it to you or even showed it to you. Also, you are not being selfish just because you want to feel love without giving in return because you just want to feel it and experience it. To be honest, you are a kind person because you didnt ask for anything material or anything else. You just wanted love, sincere love. Lex, I love you no matter what. I'm your brother and you are my little sister."

"I love you because I love you for who you are or what you are. I'm not asking you to love me either. It's actually your choice if you are going to love me back. Just let me love you while I'm still here strong, healthy, and alive. I love you, Lil Sis, and I will never stop loving my Alexandra Wreyne Smith, my little sister." I pulled away from the hug and I saw his face.

He also cried. He wiped my tears using his hand, and he kissed my forehead. I really feel his love for me. He really sees me as his sister. I hugged him, my arms around his neck, and he rested my arms on my waist.

This is the first time I feel that I love someone, and it's my brother. I love him as a brother; I love him as a member of the family. It really feels good to be loved and to love someone who is important to you. That was the first time I told someone that I loved them. I felt that he kissed my head and he hugged me really tight, but not that I was crushed in his arms.

"Thank you Lil Sis for loving me also. We are a family, even though we are not blood related. You are my sister and I am your f*****g brother. " I slap his arm.

"Language" I scolded him

"But you also cursed earlier"

"I just want to vent my feelings."

"I'm proud of you, Lil Sis. You've been holding that for your whole life. "

"Thank you oppa"

"Thank you too, lil sis"

"I love you oppa"

"I love you too, little sis"

"I love Grandma too"

"I love her too, little sis."

"Should we visit her?"

"You want to come to Thailand?"

"Yeah"

"When?"

"Maybe on Christmas vacation. I want to spend it with you and Halmeoni."

"Yeah I think we should. Let's do an exchange gift. "

"Sure oppa. I like it "

"But there is 1 rule in our exchange gift"

"What is it?"

"It should be something memorable."

"Oppa, it is easy. Don't worry, I'm not going to give you a book or anything related to boring stuff. Loosen up a bit, brother. I know what memorable means. I'm smart, remember that. "

"Yeah, my little sister is smart, smarter than me."

"You are just being lazy, but you are a smart brother." We laughed

I love this feeling of letting out all my feelings. To feel that my brother really loves me sincerely and to love him as a brother. I love this new feeling. Maybe he is right. I still have something to learn and to explore.

I'm proud to say that I'm learning to live here in reality.

(A/N: Basically, the oppa meaning in Korean is an older brother. It is used when a woman is calling or talking to an older man whether he is related to her or not.)