I thought that if I acted like nothing had changed, then maybe my feelings would follow suit. That if I focused on my classes, my assignments, and my friends, I could forget the way Ethan had made me feel during the trip. But I wasn’t fooling anyone. Especially not myself. I avoided him entirely.
I sat in different spots during lectures, made sure to walk with Favour and Gift whenever possible, and left class the moment it ended. If I saw him coming, I turned and walked the other way. It became a routine, one that I forced myself to believe was necessary. I told myself that getting too close to him was a mistake. That whatever connection we had built during the trip was temporary, a product of the moment. But then why did my chest tighten every time I spotted him from a distance? Why did
