Preceeded with caution

the rest of the night

The rest of the night is spent watching mindless TV, but my thoughts keep going back to my conversation with the O-Maker. I think about his words. In my head I can hear them. I imagine what his voice would sound like. Deep, confident, sexy, I bet.

Jesus, stop it, I tell myself. He probably sounds like Minnie Mouse and has a lisp. Probably some weirdo, trolling the internet for vulnerable girls so he can lure them back to his sewing room and make couture body suits out of their skin.

When I’m finally tired enough to where I think I can fall asleep, it’s past two in the morning. I lay in bed, but sleep doesn’t come. All I can think about are Heath’s words.

The rest of the night is spent watching mindless TV, but my thoughts keep going back to my conversation with the O-Maker. I think about his words. In my head I can hear them. I imagine what his voice would sound like. Deep, confident, sexy, I bet.

Jesus, stop it, I tell myself. He probably sounds like Minnie Mouse and has a lisp. Probably some weirdo, trolling the internet for vulnerable girls so he can lure them back to his sewing room and make couture body suits out of their skin.

When I’m finally tired enough to where I think I can fall asleep, it’s past two in the morning. I lay in bed, but sleep doesn’t come. All I can think about are Heath’s words.

Do you like to have your p***y eaten?

It’s not an easy question to answer. In theory, yes I do. Something warm and soft and wet should feel amazing on sensitive body parts, but the few times I’ve had men go down on me, they’ve pointed their tongues and jabbed at me like my v****a was a keyboard and they were transcribing the event. Not exactly a turn on.

But aside from the all of that, I can’t get over how blunt he was on the computer. I wouldn’t say I’m a prude. Far from it, actually, but I’ve never had a guy talk to me in that way before. So aggressive and in my face. If I didn’t have a face to go with the words, I would’ve found them revolting. But when I think about Heath, those penetrating blue eyes looking up at me, I picture his mouth between my legs, his full lips parting, wet tongue pressing at my opening, I’m anything but repulsed.

I have no idea how I’m supposed to sleep now. The heater kicks on. I take off my covers and then my clothes. Getting up, I go turn it down, but soon after I get cold. I can’t seem to get comfortable, and a lot of it has to do with the fact that I’m turned on.

My computer is on my desk, the battery light blinking as it charges. I stare at it, wondering if he’s messaged me again. I haven’t checked Twitter since I closed out of it, leaving him hanging. Probably not. A guy like him doesn’t need to beg. But apparently, he thinks I do, since he thinks I’m insecure.

I refuse to check my messages. I may be insecure, but I’m not desperate. I don’t get up. I’m not getting out of bed for some stranger.

* * *

The next morning, I drag myself out of bed and into the shower. Once I’m dressed I finally break down and check Twitter. Like I thought, he didn’t write back.

I managed to only get a couple hours of sleep and it’s evident by the dark circles under my eyes and the puffy skin of my face. I put on some makeup and head out to the parking lot. A frigid breeze manages to shock the drowsiness out of me.

Once I’m in the parking lot I notice all the cars are covered in snow. There’s an x-rated snowman nearby and someone’s name written in yellow on an otherwise untouched landscape. I have to guess which car is mine. All of them are just white heaps beneath the snowy surface. When I find it, I shovel off the mound with my hands until I can reach the driver-side door. It’s frozen shut. After I finally manage to get it open, the car won’t start.

Leaning my head against the steering wheel, I say to no one in particular, “Are you serious?”

At least the subway is nearby. I can walk there and get to town much faster that way. I go back into my apartment for a scarf for the walk, then head toward the subway. The sidewalks are slick with ice. Even though I wore boots with good traction, I still have to be careful not to fall.

The subway station smells like dirty diapers and human filth, but at least it’s warm. When the train stops, I climb aboard. It takes fifteen minutes by subway to reach my usual coffee shop. I almost fall asleep during the ride, but wake up just in time for my stop when someone beside me announces they have to pee.

I get off the subway and weave through the mess of weekend commuters. As soon as I climb the stairs, out of the tunnels, I’m seized by the biting air, my breath puffing a white billowy cloud in front of me.

Wrapping my scarf tighter around my neck, I walk several blocks to my favorite coffee shop. Inside, it’s warm and the smell of coffee and fall spices is inviting. A few minutes later, my jaw stops chattering and my muscles thaw enough to relax.