His to Keep

Chapter4:On the edge

Praise POV

I woke up with a crushing weight of realization. It dawned fully on me that I was alive to endure the unbearable pain of all I had lost, alive to be nothing more than a walking ghost haunted by betrayal and grief. The sedative they had given me was wearing off, leaving behind a dull heaviness in my limbs and a bitter taste in my mouth.

I had made up my mind. I was going to end it anyway, no matter how much they restricted me, no matter how many nurses they stationed outside my door, no matter what medications they pumped into my system to keep me docile and compliant.

I opened my eyes slowly, cautiously, my lashes fluttering just enough to see through them without fully revealing that I was awake. A nurse stood beside my bed, her back partially turned to me as she checked something on one of the monitors. She was young, probably fresh out of nursing school, with her hair pulled back in a neat ponytail. She looked tired.

I closed my eyes immediately, forcing my breathing to remain slow and steady, the perfect imitation of someone still deep in medicated sleep. The nurse touched my forehead with cool fingers, checking for fever perhaps, or just performing one of the countless routine checks that hospital staff carried out throughout the day and night. I felt her presence as she walked around the room, probably examining the various machines I was hooked up to, making notes on a chart, ensuring everything was as it should be. Then, finally, she left.

The soft click of the door closing behind her was the most beautiful sound I had heard in days.

I waited, counting slowly in my head. One minute. Two minutes. Three.

I needed to be sure she wasn’t coming back, that she wasn’t lingering just outside the door, that I would have enough time to do what needed to be done. When I was reasonably certain the coast was clear, I opened my eyes and began the painstaking process of removing the injections from my body.

This time I was more careful. I couldn’t afford to trigger any alarms or cause a commotion that would bring the nurses running. My fingers trembled as I carefully withdrew each IV needle, pressing against the puncture wounds with the edge of the bed sheet to stem the bleeding. I peeled off the monitor patches, silencing the machines that had been tracking my vital signs.

Standing up was an ordeal. My legs felt like they belonged to someone else, weak and unsteady, muscles atrophied from three days of disuse. The headache that bloomed behind my eyes was immediate and vicious, and my vision swam with dark spots that threatened to pull me back into unconsciousness. But I held onto the bed frame, then the wall, forcing my body to obey me despite its protests.

Each step was agony, but I pushed through it. I had to. This was my final act, my last moment of control over anything in my shattered existence.

I held myself upright, one hand pressed against the wall for support, and tiptoed out of the room. The hallway was empty. It must have been during a shift change, or perhaps just a lucky moment when everyone was occupied elsewhere. The fluorescent lights overhead were harsh and accusatory, but I kept my eyes down and walked as fast as my weakened body would allow. Don’t look back, I told myself. Don’t hesitate. Just keep moving.

My hospital gown fluttered around my legs, and I was dimly aware that I must have looked like something from a horror movie, barefoot, pale, wild-eyed, leaving a faint trail of blood drops from where the IV sites still leaked. But nobody stopped me. Nobody seemed to notice the broken woman stumbling through the corridors.

I started running despite the pain shooting through my body with each footfall. The pain seemed to cease at some point, or perhaps adrenaline had simply overridden my body’s desperate signals to stop. I felt a closer connection to my dead baby with each step I took.

I found the stairwell and began to climb, my breath coming in ragged gasps. Each flight brought me higher, closer to the sky, closer to freedom. My hand gripped the railing so tightly my knuckles went white, hauling myself upward when my legs threatened to give out. Finally, after what felt like both an eternity and no time at all, I reached the rooftop. The door had been mercifully unlocked, some oversight, some small gift from a universe that had taken everything else from me. I pushed through it and emerged into the early evening air.

Nobody had noticed. It was so smooth.

The rooftop was empty and windswept. It was covered in scattered gravel and punctuated by various mechanical equipment, air conditioning units, ventilation systems, things I couldn’t name and didn’t care about. But beyond all of that was the edge, and beyond the edge was freedom.

I looked back at the door I had come through, at the hospital building that had tried to save me when I didn’t want to be saved. A smile curved my lips. They thought they had won. Joe and Kiara, lying together in my bed, probably celebrating my disappearance. They thought they could have their happy ending while I suffered. But winning in life didn’t mean getting what you wanted or taking what belonged to someone else. Winning meant peace. And I was about to find my peace.

I walked toward the edge slowly, each step deliberate. When I reached the low barrier at the roof’s edge, I climbed up onto it, my bare feet finding purchase on the rough concrete. The wind whipped around me, pulling at my hospital gown, tangling my hair across my face.

I looked down at the ground far below. Everything looked tiny. The cars in the parking lot were like toys, people like ants going about their insignificant lives, the world reduced to miniature from this height.

I was supposed to feel overwhelmed by fear at the height where I was standing. That was what normal people felt, wasn’t it? That primal terror of falling, of dying?

But I felt joy. Pure, inexplicable joy at the prospect of it finally being over.

My hand moved to my stomach, resting on the flat emptiness where my baby should have been growing. Tears filled my eyes, streaming down my cheeks and falling into the void below.

“Don’t worry, baby,” I whispered to the wind, to the sky, to the tiny soul I would soon be joining. “I’ve got you. Mommy is coming for you.”

I closed my eyes, feeling the wind caress my face, ready to let go of everything.

Then I heard a voice, a familiar voice from years back, cutting through the wind and my despair.

“They cheated on you, made you lose your baby, and you’re just going to let them win? You’re going to let everything you have sacrificed go away like that? How weak.”

George POV

“George, you have to let me go. It’s been four days now,” Joe’s voice came through the phone.

The voice still carried that element of pride and stubbornness, not one that was ready to compromise.

“I’ll let you go. Only after you agree to my terms,” I replied.

“I would never agree to those terms. I’d be better off dead!” he shot back.

“Seems like your torture has been a bit lighter,” I said. “Elvis!!”

“Yes, sir!” Elvis replied.

“Double the torture,” I said calmly.

“To hell with you!” Joe barked, his voice sharp with disgust.

I hung up immediately. He would come around, definitely. It only takes time.

I entered my car and drove off to my hospital.

My heart was filled with a nostalgic excitement, the kind I felt during my university days any time I saw Praise. She was going to see me today, and she would be so happy too. Reuniting after years was certainly the medicine she needed right now. I headed to her ward immediately, ignoring the greetings that rang out around me.

“Good morning, sir.” Alex ran to me, keeping up with my pace.

“How is she?” I asked, ignoring the formalities.

“We just checked on her. She is fast asleep,” he said.

“Good. Go attend to other patients. I need to have some personal time with her,” I dismissed him.

I stopped at the door and took a very deep breath, preparing myself for whatever was about to unfold. I sincerely wished it would be a happy one.

But as I stepped inside, she wasn’t there. I checked every corner of the room but she was nowhere to be found. I became alarmed immediately and called for my doctors.

“She was lying exactly here, fast asleep, when I checked her,” the nurse said, almost breaking down.

“If anything happens to her, I will make sure none of you sees the light of tomorrow,” I fumed.

Everyone dispersed immediately and began searching the entire hospital.

I paced back and forth, confused about where to go.

I decided to check the roof. On reaching it, I saw her in her patient gown standing at the edge. My chest tightened instantly. I wanted to run to her, but I knew Praise. One wrong move, and I might lose her.

Hot tears clouded my eyes, but I had to maintain my composure.

How could she want to take her own life over a nonentity like Joe?

She had seen him cheat on her with Kiara. I had made sure of that. And now she wanted to take her own life?

“They cheated on you, made you lose your baby, and you’re just going to let them win? You’re going to let everything you have sacrificed go away like that? How weak.” The words escaped from my mouth as my mood shifted to annoyance.