Bound By Gratitude, Shackled By Lies

Conforming

CHAPTER THREE.

MAZIKEEN.

“You shouldn't frown like that,Maze…it really doesn't flatter you.”

“That's just how my face is,” I whispered but Graylin undoubtedly heard me, because he shot me a look that sent a chill down my spine.

I swallowed as I sat up straighter and attempted to relax my face as I watched him saunter fully into the room,a towel hanging dangerously low on his narrow waist.

“Did you go to the place I asked you to?”

I hesitated then shook my head even though he wasn't looking at me.

“Use your words,Maze.”

“I didn't go…” I said. “I was a bit thrown aback by what I saw…you with the red head.”

“Savannah.” He murmured, “that's her name.”

I didn't know what to say to that,so I silently watched his back flex with each movement of his hands as he flipped through the clothes in his closet.

“I…is it quite necessary that you have another lover?” I asked and he scoffed as he picked out a clean shirt and a pair of pyjama bottoms from the closet.

“What do you mean ‘another lover?’,you're not my lover,Maze.You're my wife.”

“Not yet…”

He turned to face me,and I felt my heart leap when his gaze lowered to my hand, lingering on the engagement ring I hadn't taken off for the night yet.

“Soon,Maze…real soon.”

That should've made me feel better, right? It surely would have before. But right then,I just wanted to cry and beg him for something I couldn't even name.

My throat tightened as I thought about my next question. “Can I have…someone else too?”

Gray's gaze snapped to mine,and I caught them narrowing angrily before I looked away. “It's quite unfair for only one person to enjoy the benefits of an open relationship,don't you think?” I added,weakly and he huffed out a dry laugh that made me wince internally.

“You're mine,” he murmured as he started to move closer. “Your thoughts,your life,your body…. they're all mine. And that means no other man gets to touch you.”

I wetted my lips nervously, forcing myself to look at him again when he dropped his change of clothes on the bed.

“What if it's with a…a woman?” I asked and he tilted his head to the side, studying me with a small frown.

“Are you into tha…”

“No,” I quickly replied, flushing. “I'm not into women.” I sighed. “I'm just saying…yuuno?”

He didn't respond and I really didn't think I wanted him to.

For the first time in my life,I wasn't so sure about anything.

And it felt weird, because for the longest time it had always been Graylin,the one stable part of my life. He was the center of my world,the man who brought out the moon on my darkest nights.

But staring at him,as he knelt on the bed, crawling as he moved between my legs,I felt cold.

“You will not be with anyone else,Maze…male or female…I'm all you'll ever need.”

As if to punctuate his words,he wrapped a hand around my throat and rocked his hips against mine—pressing his erection against my core.

I closed my eyes as my head hit the pillow.I wanted him to stop,but I couldn't tell him that…I didn't want to disappoint him….I didn't want him to slap me across the face and force inside me like he always did whenever I tried to resist—it hurt less when I wasn't fighting his intrusion.

“We were always meant to be together,”Graylin whispered, then captured my lips in a soft,brief kiss. “It is why I was there that day…to save you.” Another kiss, “you were made for me, Mazikeen.”

"Do you want a baby now?" I asked him and he quickly shook his head in silent response.

"Do you?"

I swallowed, "yes."

"Well I don't," he replies, rocking against me, "and that's final."

"Then maybe...you should use a condom... I'm not on the pill anymore...and I don't wanna get another abortion so soon because the doctor...."

"Can you just let me enjoy this?!" Graylin snaps and I immediately press my mouth shut.

He ran a hand up the outside of my thigh, pushing my nightgown up until it was bunched on top of my stomach.

“Do you love her?” I whispered and instead of an answer,he kissed me again;deeper, desperately,his hand cupping the overflowing softness of my chest almost painfully.

I slid my arm up his muscled arm and around his neck as he ripped off my panty.

I wanted to feel something other than the lukewarm fuzziness in my chest and the incessant need to please him; I wanted to be pleased too.

It was as if something within me knew there was more to what we were doing.

But I said nothing when he tore off his towel and buried himself inside of me with one harsh thrust.

The pain was immediate and almost blinding, tearing a gasp from me. A sound he probably misjudged for pleasure because he grunted his appreciation as he began to move…in and out,in and out…

I slipped into my head just as the headboard began to bang against the wall repeatedly; I reached so far down,I pulled out a memory.

It was of a young girl–perhaps four or five—sliding an amethyst ring with a rose gold band onto her finger, a huge smile on her face….a smile I wished was mine.

“Mazikeen…!” came an older woman's sharp voice just before I saw her face.

Beautiful…. She was extremely breathtaking.

“How many times have I told you to stop stealing and wearing my ring?”

She gently took the little girl's hand and took off the ring.

“But mama…it's really pretty. Can I really not have it?”

Pretty lady chuckled as she ruffled the girl's hair. “No,baby….you can't have my engagement ring. But trust me,one day…a really special man's going to give you one just like this…just like your papa gave me this.”

“Are you sure,mama? What if no one wants to give me one?”

She smiled again then squatted down to eye level with the girl. “I'm completely sure,baby. A lot of people are going to want to give you the world.”

Graylin's loud groan—as he climaxed—snapped me back into the present,his back bowing as his hips rocked against mine harshly.

I let out a sigh when he finally pulled out and pushed up to a sitting position. His skin coated with a sheen of sweat and his bangs sticking to his damp forehead.

“You should go take a shower,” he panted, then smirked, reaching down to tuck a lock of hair behind my ear as his gaze softened in a way that made me want to wrap my arms around him.

“Maybe we can take one together?” I whispered and his smile widened as he stood up fully,reached down and pulled me to my feet. “I love you,Maze…always.”

I swallow my 'you don't act like it,' response as I let him lead me into the bathroom.