The Babymaker

Chapter Ten

I’m just staring in nowhere while lying in the bed. What should I be thinking anyway?

Am I expecting that when I woke up in morning he’s lying beside me? You wish!

While I’m staring in nowhere, everything happened last night flashback in my mind. We are just watching a movie, it’s tragic then I cried. He hugged me then he brushed off my tears that’s why we end up staring at each other. Then boom! We kissed and something happened between us.

And here I am expecting to see him beside me when I wake up? Seriously? Such a stupid woman! He’s not even my boyfriend.

And never will!

I’m a babymaker. This is my use here on Monteverde, that’s my job. I should have s*x with Renz Monteverde and bare a child.

So why the heck am I feeling like this? Why I feel something different for what happened between us last night? There’s nothing special on that, why would be there’s something going to be special on that? Because I’m virgin?

Ugh! I pulled my hair.

I looked at the red stain in the bed. It is the proof that something is taken away from me last night, something that I can never had back. I trace my fingers on that stain. I’m not a virgin anymore. The part of me that I just wanted to give to my future husband is gone.

I touched my belly.

Is there a child inside me now? How fast was it?

I just woke up that my body is hurt and so my private part. Everything happened last night seems fresh in my mind, the strange feeling I felt last night when we connected. Why I always feel different when he spoke, when he is near, just to feel his presence, when I finally felt him and when our lips collide.

I touched my lips, I can still imagine the feeling of his warm lips on mine.

The lips of Renz Monteverde.

Wake up, Apple!

I took a deep breath. “Haa!” I’m already awake yet my senses are not working.

Where is he by the way? Did he already return to his room? When? Last night or before I woke up? What time is it already? Did he felt horrible one me?

Am I not good?

I felt bad about myself but reminding me how Renz took me last night made me forget how horrible I felt about myself.

A lot of people will not understand me, a lot of people will question me when they find out what I did. How will they inform or show to people that the child is from Isabel?

How will they cover up this mistake?

~

I went out of the room after I took a bath. I don’t know where I get my courage to face him today. I should be hiding until now because I can still feel embarrassment for what happened between us last night. It might be my job or purpose here in Monteverde but still can’t face him properly without thinking the scenario last night. I wanted to throw a cold water or bucket of ice so I will feel numb. What happened last night still embarrassing for me.

I went straight to the dining area, it’s time for the lunch already. I overslept… again. I’m sure he’s already in the dining, he’s always on time. It’s a hard time for me to go down the stairs because it still hurt.

I inhaled first before I peek in the dining the area, but no one’s there. There’s no food in the table also.

Is he done already? Or Nanay Lydia has not prepared the food yet? But that’s impossible, it’s already 12 noon.

I went inside the dining area. It’s quiet in here. Where’s Renz? Where’s Nanay Lydia?

“Oh you’re awake already.” I almost jumped in surprise when Nanay spoke.

I looked back from the door and Nanay Lydia greeted me with a smile.

I smiled back. “Good morn---Hmm.. I mean, good afternoon po.”

“Are you hungry already? I didn’t wake you up anymore because Renz instructed me not too.” It’s his instruction not to wake me up? He knew I’m tired from last night?

I just nodded. I’m also hungry already, I don’t have time to feel shy anymore. That’s why I already took the courage to go down here.

“Take a seat already. I’ll get you some food.” I just nodded again and let Nanay to go in the kitchen. Even I wanted to help I can’t, Nanay might notice they way I walk. I don’t know how to lie or make up some stories if she dares to ask me.

I sat in my usual spot even that cold guy is not around. I usually sit in the middle of the dining and I always sit in the left side.

Nanay returned from the kitchen and served the food, I asked her to join me but she said she already ate.

“W-where is Re—Sir Renz?” I gulped. I already took the nerve to ask Nanay Lydia of Renz whereabouts because I can’t stop my curiosity anymore, my eyes were like looking for him. He might be in his room? Doing some works? He usually stays in his room.

“Oh, he left early because he said he needs to get back in Manila already and he’s done for what he needs here.” She answered.

I left dumbfounded. He’s gone. He already returned to Manila. And what, he is done for what he needs here? He’s done with me? He’s done what he needs in me. What am I even thinking? Of course, he is done for what he needs in here… or what he needs in me.

Geez!

What am I expecting anyway? That we will talk about what happened last night!

Shit! Stupid Apple.

I smiled painfully. He’s done with me. What should I expect? Maybe he so eager to finish this because he already wanted to go back in Manila, that’s why he forced himself to do it last night. Maybe he’s so fed up seeing me every day. He might not like what happened between us.

Is he trying to be fussy? I am virgin!

Enough. I don’t have time for dramas. Why should I be melodramatic about it? That’s what should be happened anyway.

I touched my belly part again. What if we made it? What will happen if I’m already pregnant? Or what if I didn’t get pregnant? Will they ask the money back?

My eyes grew wider.

What if I didn’t get pregnant after all? What if they will ask the money back? What? Almost half of the money we agreed is already been use in Maya’s operation then they will pay for follow-up therapy. Hospital bills, medicines and maintenance. What will happen? What will happen to Maya?

My tears fell down and I held my stomach hard. What now?

“Hija? Why are you crying?” I didn’t notice that Nanay Lydia is already nearby me. I quickly wipe off my tears. Why am I crying! I should not cry. I should not be a crybaby.

“Nothing Nay. I just miss my cousin.” Which is true, I really miss my cousin.

I’m surprised when Nanay Lydia hugged me and caressed my head down to my back. I always remember my mother whenever I cry because my mother always caressed my head whenever I cried. But why I’m remembering Renz this time? The time he caressed my head when I cried last night after we watched the movie. That’s what I recall.

“I know why you are here, hija.” My eyes widen in surprised, she knew. I looked up at her.

Did she know something happened between us last night? Did she know what Renz mean that he’s done on what he needs here? Did she think I’m crying because of what happened to us?

I smiled a bit. “Life can be really cruel sometimes, hija. That’s why we need to be strong.” I cried for what she said. I miss my mother, Renz totally vanished in my mind and all I remember is my parents. What are they thinking right now? Did they understand my decisions in life?

Mom. Dad. I miss you. I miss you both so much. I hope you’re here with me.

Nanay Lydia held me tighter so I hugged her back. “Nay. I miss my Mom and Dad. I miss my parents so much. Do you think they can understand me?” I asked while sniffing from my tears.

Nanay just nodded. “Stop crying, dear. I know they can understand you. People my judge you but of all them, your parents will understand you. They both love you. If they are here, I know they will understand you.” I already shared my stories to Nanay Lydia before, I even used that as an alibi why I am in Batangas at Monteverde’s rest house. I don’t know that she already knew. Monteverde must really trust her so much.

If my Mom and Dad are still here, will I still be in this situation?

Am I regretting my decisions already?