QUEST FOR LOVE

Chapter - 84

I so wish things would have been the way I thought . But it did not happen the way I thought. What to do now . Why should I think about her . She will never ever get to know about my feelings . I will not let her know about it. I will make sure that she never gets to know about this. I will do everything possible to make her stay way from me . She will never come to know that I Iove her. Yes! , it is the best thing to do. I just cannot cause more.

I just came to your house , faked my personality . Disguised myself and went on doing my own things . Which was not required . If I really wanted things to be better.

I just could have went with the flow .

Samar said me several times , just go with the flow . Do not run....

Do not jump to conclusions . But I did not listen to him. I just went my way only. 

As it is there are many things to deal in her life, why to bother her more . I do not have any right o do so . In this I do not want to enter her life again. And cause more problem .I know she does not loves me . And I am pretty much sure that she will never ever love me . I do not hope or expect anything from her . That is why I went there . But I might have created more chaos in her life . Then it was better to leave that place. Staying there was useless.

Yes! I know , I should have not gone there, just because of me there will be problems created. But what to do. I just cannot stay there. I could have said about the truth to Ananya , but I know she might be having other issues to deal . I do not wanted to hamper life more . I just cannot be reason for her problems . I can live my life staying away from her . Even if she does not loves me , but I cannot live with the guilt of causing damage to her life.

I will never be able to forgive myself. I should not have entered her life this way , and come away from there in this way. But yeah this problem is for a short term . She will be happy after some days . At least a day problem is better than a full life problem . The thing which I did more wrong is lying to uncle.  I really do not know what he might be thinking about me . Will he forgive me for what I did? How will I meet him in future . Like if we happen to coincide in future . What will I say to him. Why did I do so. Yes I have kept the rent money there. But there is ethics and which I did not follow. I know he will never trust me. I have also written sorry letter. 

Uncle I hope you do not feel ,bad. I am extremely sorry for my act. I know what I did is not done but I just cannot carry with what I did before. Doing one mistake was enough , repeating it again and again is not at all done .

That is why I opted this.

I so wish you will forgive me . I so wish you will forget what I did. I so wish that all the things which I did can be undone . 

But I know it cannot be done so .

I hope when in future when we meet , we do not have harsh feelings for each other .  I do hope so.