QUEST FOR LOVE

Chapter - 82

Anamika , I just cannot see you in this condition.. You should have thought before taking this step .

You thought the decision which you took for Ananya was absolutely wrong.  Why did you even believe Raj , do you even know how is he keeping Ananya.

Is Ananya happy there?

I am clueless my friend . I do not have any idea.

Whhat should I do now?

You do not even know this.

What should I do now.

Anamika I said you several times , he is not a good guy for you .He does not deserves you . you deserve someone better .  In fact way better than him. but you did not believe me . I had that idea how bad he is . I have been seeing that since years , he has been doing that with other colleagues too.

But you took this the other way . I so wish , you would have believed me then things would have been better.

I did not know that he is like this Jindal . yes! You warned me but I was so fool that I did not believe you. I know I should have believed you . I should not have doubted on your intentions. But I could not the situations were not in my favor. If I had believed you that time things would not have been the way it is.

He said me that you love me that is why you do not want us to be together. You tell me what should have I done? I was blind in love Jindal . Instead of believing my childhood friend , I believed him . Instead of doing write things , I did all wrong . Things can never be justified.

I should have not done that. 

But I was angry with you too. Why did you not confess about your feelings to me? 

You never ever confessed about your feelings to me. I was taken aback. You should have said to me about this . I know was surprised , but you could have just attempted . But you never tried once .

You just imagine how can I just confess about my feelings to you , when I know you love someone else . My feelings just cannot be reason for your bad. I did not want things to complicate . I am ok with one sided emotions . I never wanted things to complicate .

Yes! I love you but that does not mean that you are suppose to reciprocate. My feelings are mine .

I was just concerned about my friend that time . Even if someone else was there , I would have tried to explain to that person about this.

Yes! I will not deny that I loved you , in fact I love you now too. But tell me one thing? Have I ever crossed my limit? I love you that does not mean, I will hamper your love. I was happy to hear that you are in love . but at the same time when I got to know it is Raj Singhania whom you love , I did not believe it .

It was quite difficult for me to believe this . I just could not take this . I never wanted my friend to fall in a trap. I knew from the very first that he is not good for you . he will not bring happiness to your life . All your happiness will be gone . the minutes pleasure will not be there in future. But time had its own way .

Raj he has been my colleagues. He is not at all good when it comes to emotions . he will sell himself also to become successful . That is it . I have been seeing him  buttering colleagues , seniors just to gain favor from them.

At first he will shout at his juniors , do irritate them , pretend as in that he does not likes them. This instigates the co workers they want to give reply to him. As a result he gets attention. This is what he wants. He has hunger of getting attention.

Same he did to you. The whole world knows that he is not interested in girls and is career oriented. But this is not the truth. He does things only for himself .

He has that superb way to escape from the blames of victim. As a result he plays the blame game fantastically . Too much fun for him.

He does it in a such way that people will have mercy on him . And think that he is right. Which is not the case. He is absolutely wrong.

Do you second me Anamika?

Yes , yes , yes ! a hundred , to , thousand times…

 If ever I had the clue that he is like this , I would not have come to him. I took my time but could not judge him correctly . I was so fool.

I will not say that loving him was my mistake but blindly loving him was my mistake …

At that phase of time , I used to believe him only . no one else.

This is where I went wrong . I did not know what to do and what to not . I so wish I would have believed you . but it is my bad that I did not .

I am so sorry Jindal my bff, I did not believe you.

I am sorry Anamika , I did not make things better for you . I am so useless . if I wanted I could have dine things better for you. But I did not do so . I went away . Instead of disheartening , I could have just thought of doing things for yo .

Friends are not like this . they care for each other . I failed in friendship . I did not care for you . I should have waited here only , and made things clear to you . After all you are my best friend .

So what you did not believe me but I should have made you believe me . I should have tried my best .

But I did not .

I just cannot be called as your friend .

Shut up Jindal.

You have done so much for me . who does so much for anyone . do not even say sorry to me .

If I will count what you have done for me , I will never ever conclude . I alive in this world it is just because of you . I would have ended myself if you were not here . you always got my back . it was so difficult for me , you were always there . You never left me.

You made me strong . you gave me strength to fight . I just cannot thank you . thank you is very small thing for you . you deserve more than that .

You do not need to be thank you or sorry Anamika . I have been knowing you since my childhood .. You are my bestfriend. If i will not do things for my bff then for whom will I do?

I did nothing great ok....

No , no ... no matter what you say. I know what you did and not . If you were not there , it was not been so easy for me .

I would have ended up no where . It is you , because of whom I have reasons to live .

Your child Snehil , he is is your child . But I love him as mine . I do not consider him different from Ananya . He gave me reasons to live . He is the for reason for my happiness . 

We know we are not real son and mother . But for me he is more than anything.

If that time I would have not met Snehil , I really do not know what would have been the scene. Coz after losing Ananya to Raj , I was shattered . It was quite difficult for me to take things . Snehil gave me life .

After meeting Snehil , I got new world . He completed me .

I know not what the future is going to be . Whether  Ananya will be with me or not . But one thing will never change . Snehil is my son , he will be my son only . Though I did not give birth to him but he is mine .

The moment he says me mumma , I feel it . 

I feel completed. I just feel that I cannot live without Snehil.

Snehil is not only my son but also my friend . We share each and everything which other like friends do . We rarely hide anything from each other.

No one can say that he is not my son by seeing us together . Such pure is our bond . 

He trusts me I trust him.

But the only thing which bothers me is that what will happen when he comes to know the reality? That I am not his real mother. Will he love me the way he does now I wonder.