PAINS

1108 Words
Vera's POV. The room was dim, filled with the soft hum of the ceiling fan and the sharp ache pounding behind my eyes spreading up to my head. My body felt heavy, damp with sweat. Every limb throbbed with exhaustion and burning pain. I tried to sit up, but even that sent a sharp pain up my spine. My skin burned, it was definitely fever. I need help and so reached for my phone which was still lying on the nightstand. The screen was lit up with a flood of missed calls and messages, over twenty from Andrew, almost as many from Lara, and several from my mother. My stomach tightened even more, the bad feeling that I felt was stronger even at this moment. I opened my mother’s voice note first, my hands trembling. /Vera, please. Stop behaving like a child. A man is a man. You left the hotel and ran in the rain for what? To prove a point? Listen to me, your father had his own side affairs, and I didn’t destroy my home over it. Because at the end of the day, I’m the main wife. That’s the role you fight for, not throw away./ Another ping came in, from Lara. I stared at the message for what felt like an eternity before I opened it. /Babe I didn’t mean for it to happen like this. I swear, it just happened because Andrew was so broken and frustrated and I was trying to keep him from going to another woman who might destroy your marriage. I did it for you okay, you need to believe me and if you truly trusted me you would have asked what happened. So this is what you thought of me since. I'm hurt Vera and I was here trying to save your marriage./ I let out a single, hollow laugh. The kind that didn’t sound human. She claims she was helping me, helping me by have s*x with my husband, in the hotel room I had spent weeks decorating and planning for our special day. I clicked on the next message, which was from Andrew. I knew it wouldn't be anything good but I just wanted to deal the final blow, the one that would shatter me completely. The words on the screen twisted my stomach into knots and my already broken heart shattered into pieces. /You are so pathetic. You couldn’t keep me interested, and now you want to act like the victim? Please. You’re boring, Vera. Always were. The kitchen was the only place you had value, and even that couldn’t save you. s*x with you was like lying with a corpse. Lara is everything you’re not. She is vibrant, sexy. Interesting. You should actually thank me for putting you out of your misery./ The phone slid from my hand and hit the floor with a dull thud. I sat there, staring into space, just blinking at nothing. The fever made my body feel distant, but the words were so sharp they sliced through the haze. I sat on the floor for a long time, hugging my knees and letting my mind take me back to when this might have started. The memories passed through my mind like a fast paced movie. Andrew laughing as I showed him my children's clinic business plan.“It’s cute you think anyone would invest in this.” Andrew scoffing when I wore a dress I loved. “Are you going to a church vigil or a retirement home?” Andrew turning his back to me in bed. “You’ve put on weight. Try not to suffocate me tonight.” Andrew texting while she cried in the bathroom, bleeding from the loss of an important family member. Andrew comparing her to Lara. Again and again. It was always Lara. The tears came quietly this time, not explosive, but slow and silent, sliding down my cheeks like the rain last night. I could still feel it in my bones, the plain truth.If I stayed, I would die. Not physically, at least not right away, but piece by piece. My spirit would rot away, my mind would go numb and I would become what they always wanted me to be a silent, empty thing. An obedient ghost. I couldn't count on my parents because they would sell me out without thinking twice. I stood up slowly, my were legs still weak. The room tilted, but I held onto the wall and forced myself to breathe. I walked into the bedroom and stared at myself in the mirror. My makeup had long been washed away. My curls were scattered. The beautiful red dress from the night before clung to me like regret. I peeled it off slowly, like shedding skin. Then I reached into my closet and pulled out a soft sweatshirt, jeans, and flat shoes. I dressed like I was preparing for war, not flashy, but solid, practical and barely alive. Then, I reached for a small travel bag and packed with precision, basically my essentials, two changes of clothes, my journals, a folder of important documents, and my phone charger. Toothbrush, lip balm, clean underwear. She didn’t need much. Just enough to start over. I went to the hallway closet and pulled out the small safe Andrew didn’t even know existed, one I had found already installed before we moved in. I put a pin in by myself the year before, quietly, because I had plans for our future. I entered the code, a combination of mine and Andrew's birthday. Inside were the pieces of my future, the parts I had never trusted anyone else to hold or to have knowledge of. The land papers I had bought secretly in my maiden name, meant for the children I never got to raise. The car documents, the one gift I had planned to give Andrew. It was bought with most of the money I had saved up before I stopped working completely. My fixed deposit certificate. The life insurance policy i taken out last year after my old company sent it to me. My pension documents came as well. A flash drive with backup copies of everything. I placed them all carefully into a second folder and zipped it into the bag. Then i stood there for a long moment, staring at the room, the bed, the dresser, the framed wedding photo that mocked me from the wall. I walked to the door, with the bag in hand, and paused taking one last deep breath. Then Vera Davis stepped into the hallway, closed the door behind her, and didn’t look back.
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