Office Hours

Let's make a deal

Ellie knew that avoiding him at all costs wasn’t doing anything good for the tension that hung in the air between them — it was only deepening it. Every time she stepped into his classroom, she felt his presence like a burning weight on her skin. The way his gaze lingered on her, cautious but heavy, made her chest tighten.

Yeah, she slept with her professor. It wasn't a big deal. They were both adults.

That’s what she kept telling herself. Over and over. Like a broken record that refused to shut off.

But every time she thought about it — about him — a pang of heat and shame crept up her spine. And worse, she couldn’t decide which feeling was stronger.

“Oh my god,” she groaned into her pillow, face down and muffled. “THIS IS A DISASTER!”

Without thinking, she kicked her feet wildly against her mattress, as though physically expelling the embarrassment from her body. Her fists twisted into the sheets, and she wished the bed would simply swallow her whole.

God, whoever is out there, just put me out of my misery! Whatever I did wrong in this lifetime, just forgive me already!

Her mind flashed to that night — the rough drag of his hands down her spine, the way his mouth found her pulse point, the low groan in his throat when she pulled him closer. Ellie squeezed her eyes shut, her face now burning with something between frustration and desire.

“No, no, no — stop thinking about it!” she scolded herself, rolling onto her back and staring hard at the ceiling. “It was one night. One stupid, impulsive night. It didn’t mean anything.”

But why did it feel like it did?

The worst part was walking into his class the following Tuesday. Ellie thought she could handle it — act like nothing happened. But the moment she stepped into the room and locked eyes with William Henson standing at the podium, her stomach flipped.

He faltered when he saw her — just for a second — but it was long enough for her to catch it. She quickly looked away and found an empty seat in the back. Out of sight, out of mind, she thought.

But William’s voice still reached her. Deep. Smooth. The same voice that once whispered her name in the dark.

“Earth to Ellie!”

A loud knock on her door snapped her out of her downward spiral. Ellie jolted upright in her bed, her heart still hammering.

“Ellie, the hell is wrong with you now?”

Cassie, her best friend, stood in the doorway, one hand on her hip, concern mixed with impatience plastered across her face. Ellie scrambled to look normal, but her tangled sheets and wild hair told a different story.

“Uh — nothing,” Ellie croaked. “Just… thinking.”

Cassie narrowed her eyes. “About what? You’ve been holed up here for hours, and I’ve been knocking forever.”

Ellie groaned, flopping back onto her bed. “It’s just… school stuff. Midterms. Papers. You know, the usual.”

“Bullshit,” Cassie deadpanned. “You look like you’ve seen a ghost.” She padded over, sitting on the edge of Ellie’s bed and rubbing slow circles on her back. “C’mon. Talk to me.”

Ellie’s throat tightened. Should I tell her? Would Cassie judge her if she admitted she had slept with their professor — and worse — liked it?

“It’s nothing, I swear.” Ellie forced a smile. “Just… overthinking.”

Cassie didn’t buy it. “Ellie, you’re the most put-together person I know. You don’t do ‘overthinking.’ You do, like, detailed mental spreadsheets.”

Ellie let out a short, dry laugh. “Not this time.”

Cassie studied her for a beat, then brightened. “Okay, you know what you need? A night out. You and me. No studying, no stress — just drinks, bad decisions, and greasy food afterward.”

Ellie hesitated. “I don’t know, Cass…”

“Nope! No excuses.” Cassie stood, already pulling Ellie up by the arm. “You’ve clearly got something eating you alive, and the best cure is distraction. So, we’re going out. End of discussion.”

Ellie finally relented, managing a weak smile. “Fine. But if I get drunk and cry about my GPA, you’re carrying me home.”

Cassie laughed. “Deal.”

Hours later, Ellie found herself pressed up against a crowded bar, a cocktail in hand, and a tiny buzz already in her system. The loud music and flashing lights did a decent job of dulling her thoughts, and for once — she didn’t feel suffocated by her own guilt.

“You having fun yet?” Cassie yelled over the music, grinning as she sipped her drink.

“Yeah,” Ellie admitted, forcing a smile. “This is exactly what I needed.”

But deep down, she knew it wasn’t true. The tension still simmered underneath her skin, like an itch she couldn’t scratch. Because no amount of alcohol could erase the memory of William’s touch or the way she had clung to him that night like he was something she was never meant to have.

She hated herself for still wanting it.

“I’m getting another drink,” Cassie declared, nudging Ellie’s arm. “Stay here. Try not to drown in existential dread.”

Ellie snorted. “I’ll do my best.”

As Cassie disappeared into the crowd, Ellie exhaled slowly, trying to savor the brief moment of peace. Her mind wandered again — What if I never slept with him? Would things be normal? Would she be able to sit in his classroom without her heart racing every time he said her name?

And God, what did he think of her now?

“Ellie?”

The voice jolted her like a lightning bolt. Her head whipped around — and there he was. William. Standing just a few feet away, his hands shoved in his pockets, looking just as conflicted as she felt.

Her stomach dropped. “Oh. Hi.”

“Hi,” he said awkwardly, his voice barely audible over the music.

“What… are you doing here?” she asked, trying to sound casual but failing miserably.

William hesitated. “I, uh… came with some friends. Didn’t expect to see you here.”

Ellie laughed dryly. “Yeah, well. Me neither.”

An awkward silence stretched between them. Ellie’s heart thudded painfully in her chest. Say something normal. Say anything.

“How’ve you been?” William finally asked.

“Good. Busy. You?”

“Same.”

More silence. God, this was awful.

William’s gaze dropped to her hands, where she clutched her cocktail like it was her lifeline. “I didn’t know you… went out much.”

“I don’t,” Ellie admitted. “Cassie sort of dragged me here.”

William smiled faintly. “Smart friend.”

Her stomach flipped. Stop it, she scolded herself. He’s your professor. It was one night. Move on.

But then he stepped closer, his voice low. “Ellie… can we talk?”

Her throat dried. “About what?”

William hesitated. “That night.”

Ellie froze. “There’s nothing to talk about. It was just a mistake.”

His jaw clenched. “Was it?”

She felt her heart c***k right down the middle. “It has to be.”

And before he could respond, she turned and walked back into the crowd — praying the music was loud enough to drown out her own heartbeat.