I am Broken

Chapter 11- Willow POV

            I battled with my thoughts as I sat alone in my room, my heart was waning and my head was confused, my life never seemed to be my own and I no longer lived for myself, was I selfish to want it all to stop, I wanted to take my last breath and fade away as if I was nothing but I knew I couldn’t, I had to fight but I didn’t know how much fight I had left all these people pulling me in different directions and I wasn’t sure if I wanted to go down any one of those paths anymore, I always thought I would live my life freely, have a job, help the government when I could, heal people and find love when I was ready but now it just seemed everyone wanted to use me.

              My head sank in to my knees as a tear left my eyes, my body was exhausted and didn’t know how else to express my emotions, there was a slight breeze that made me lift my heavy head from my lap, the most luring pair of red eyes looked at me, but there was no shock, no worry but excitement and I couldn’t understand why, his smile was breath taking and I didn’t know why, my voice was shaky as I spoke “who are you?” he stepped closer but I didn’t move, my heart beat quickened but it wasn’t fear, it was happiness, contempt and safety and I didn’t know why.

              “I am Demetrius, god of the vampires, I have been watching you your whole life, I’m sorry I failed to protect you again” he sat on the edge of my bed, I couldn’t take my eyes of his “again? I don’t understand, I have never met you in my life” he chuckled a little “you haven’t met me in this life, I had to keep my distance, but you knew me very well in your past life” I felt like I was going further and further down the rabbit hole “my past life?” I asked.   

               “I’m not supposed to tell you of your past life, but I will say we were once betrothed and I lost you in the most brutal of way and for that I am sorry, but my sisters and I brought you back to bring back the balance of the world but I could feel your pain and I could not stay away any longer” I part of me felt like I knew him but It was like a memory you always struggle to remember and it hurt to keep trying “I don’t know if I can be anyone’s savour anymore, I’m so tired” he pulled me into a hug and I didn’t argue “that’s okay Willow, you can’t be everything for everyone, why do you think I stayed out of your life as much as it killed me, I had my chance with you and I will again but now is not the time, you have two men who love and cherish you and will help you find your purpose” 

                  “Do you mean Jake and Alex?” I asked “precisely, I picked them for you personally but I never expected Jake to become what he has but we cannot control everything” I held on to him tighter “but Alex cheated on me I felt it” I explained to him, he pulled me away slightly and my eyes fell on his again “he did not cheat on you my dear, Jake had relations with a woman and now he is a wolf both of you will feel the pull, it is different for humans, you will feel the subtle pull to your soul mate but nothing like wolves feel, that was my sisters gift them, each of us gift our kind differently”

                   I was stunned for a moment, he was telling me that Jake was also my mate, I had two, it felt greedy but I couldn’t not explain as much as I tried I love both of them equally, he sighed before he pulled away from me and stood “I cannot persuade you in the direction you should go but I know you, even if you have a different name you are still her and you will do what you think is right” I didn’t want him to leave, he felt like home “this is still so unclear, but I trust you so I will believe what you say and hang on, will I ever see you again?”

                He sighed before he answered “in time it will become clear and the choices you will have to make will not be easy but trust in yourself and you will know what to do, I will always be here for you but you will not see me again in the life time but I will wait for you in death and then the choice will be yours” I felt sadness but I understood, we were not meant to be in this lifetime and from my understand it was my choice to join him in the next.

            Without saying another word, he was gone, my heart sank when I couldn’t clearly remember his face but I knew why he had done that, he did it for me, I didn’t want me to wait for him and live my with happiness and love in my heart and for that I was grateful, his eyes quickly faded but his words stuck in my head and I was happy he didn’t take them too but they were a reminder of what I must do, a knock at my door drew mw form my thoughts “come in!” 

              Mia opened the door, I was happy to see her it was better than seeing someone else “hay Mia, are you okay?” I asked her “I’m fine, thanks are you feeling any better?” I nodded in reply “do you think you are up for coming to dinner?” she asked, and I really wasn’t ready, but I felt more confident, and I was hungry so one diner wouldn’t hurt “yeah, but I don’t really know what to wear could you help me?” I asked her and a smile grew across her face, like she had never had a girlfriend before “I would love to Willow, I know what would look amazing on you, because everyone will be there, we like to dress up a bit”  

            She ran to my closet and pulled out a beautiful green dress, and placed it on my bed, it looked like it would hug my figure and had to be honest I could wait to try it on, she had good style. I took myself to the shower whist she got ready to do my hair and make-up, the water was refreshing and once I was finished, I readied myself for the military operation that had to happened to get me ready. Once she completed, her magic and staired at myself in the mirror, I looked like I did the night it all began, the night I met Alex and Jake the night my life forever changed, would tonight be the same?