THE GUILT SPIRAL
1074 Words
Adien’s Pov
Rose left my office slamming the door loudly. I walked slowly to the glass of water on my table, and drank the water while still in disbelief. Rose was the mate I rejected, how did I not know this? I should have known, I mean the signs were there, crystal clear--- the way my wolf would react when she was around me, her aura, that confidence, her scent were the same as that night. (He kept replaying the small details in his mind, he was this close to knowing but he choose not to see).
I clenched my fist breaking the glass into small pieces causing thick blood to flow from my injured hands but I didn’t feel any pain, maybe because I was already feeling worst heartache or because I didn’t care at that moment.
I remember that night, the night of the ceremony, when I rejected her, I was expecting her to crawl and beg like other omega would when they get rejected but she just stood there with her chin held high, so powerful, the way she looked at me when I told her she wasn’t strong enough to be my mate and luna of the pack---I saw it in her eyes, that silent snort, like she was mocking me, like she was trying to tell me that I was the one who doesn’t deserve to be her alpha and the most amusing part, was how my wolf wasn’t even angry, just silence like it was submitting. When she walked out of that hall, she never looked back.
He realized that he didn't just reject a stranger. He rejected her twice--- once publicly, once privately, by falling for the version of her he thought was new, while unknowingly chasing what he'd thrown away. ‘she didn’t deserve that’.
My wolf was restless, ashamed and guilty making me feel dizzy and nauseous. I sat on the couch when Corner came surprised at the mess.
“Are you ok sir? You hand is bleeding, should we go to the hospital?” corner said worried
I looked at my bleeding hands before replying “No need to visit the hospital, its just a minor injury…just get me the first aid, ill take care of it myself”
“ok sir” Corner hurried to get first aid
After cleaning my wound, I told Corner to do a background check on Rose. I already know now who she is, but I needed to know the weight of what I’ve done, ‘I was a coward and she didn’t deserve what I did to her, she has every right to be angry and even hate me’
"Find out everything about Rose Miles. Who she was before she came here. Her history with the pack."
“Ok sir”.
AT NIGHT
Rose had just finished taking her shower and ready to go to bed, when everything came back, she sat on her bed and poured out. She cried bitterly. She cried uncontrolled. She let it all out, all the pain and doubt she felt. she tried to hold it in all day, not wanting to break down in the presence of Adien or people, and now she finally let it all out.
She picked up her phone to call Kira, after a ring Kira answered the call
“hey”
“hey Rose, you ok? You sound weird”
Hearing Kira’s voice, she couldn’t hold it in and cried again
“baby girl what happened? Who hurt you? Is it Adien? What happened? Talk to me”
“I told him… I told him the truth and I left”
There was silence for a while before she asked
“What was his reaction?”
“I don’t know, I didn’t stay to see…. I just left”
“Rose you should have stayed and talked to him, you can’t keep running forever”
“what if he doesn’t want me?”
“ if he doesn’t want you then you both talk it out, it won't take anything from you or him ”
Rose could barely speak through her tears.
“It ok, I’m proud of you Babygirl, you choose yourself and that’s what matters. Stop crying ok”
“I was so scared he would ask me to leave or get angry so I left, I don’t want to break down in his presence. I don’t anyone to see me this vulnerable… well except you though”
They both chuckled
“But Rose, you love him don’t you”
“Of course I do, If I didn’t, I won't be crying alone in my room.”
“when I walked out from his office, I really hoped he would chase after me, beg me or even give me any excuse--- I swear at that point, I would have believed anything he said to me even if he was lying. I really love that man Kira, it hurts”
“I know it hurt, that’s why I’m proud of you, trust me everything will be fine ok”
“ok… I have to sleep early, I don’t know if I still have work tomorrow or if ill be fired”
“I don’t think he will be so petty to do that”
“you think so?”
“I know so, he won't fire you. He doesn’t look like someone who would do that”
“how does he look like then?”
“like someone who will do anything to get what he wants, so he won't fire you”
“whatever…. I’m going to bed. Goodnight”
“Goodnight. Don’t cry anymore”
“I won't.”
After the call, Rose lied staring up at the ceiling. she finds herself checking her phone. He hasn't texted. And that silence is worse than anything he could have said.•
Rose replayed her own confession, wondering if she should have said it differently, ‘No I did the right thing’ and immediately catching herself
In Adien’s Room
Adien was also lying on his bed staring up at the ceiling, then he picked his phone, went through the chat history with rose, read through it again and again. He tried typing something but deleted it because he felt like it wasn’t the right thing to do.
Both of them awake at the same time, in the same city, both alone, without either knowing it.
- Writer
