FORBIDDEN FEELINGS

His Alter Ego

Ryan unhooked his tie and threw it carelessly by his bedside.He threw himself on the bed and the softness of the bed met his tired body’s need,he knew he needed a shower but he felt too lazy to move a muscle.

The display on the news made him chuckle as his fainting moment was perfectly recorded and replayed all over.The speculations on the internet were not enough that the television shows joined in his mockery.

“Sadly enough,I am not photogenic at all,I look better in person”, he said mockingly to himself in a bid to hide the sorrow behind his eyes.

It has been a week since his fainting incident at the Crescent Orphanage founders award but the news wasn't dying down fast as his management team had predicted.He looked down at his bandaged wrist which escalated the news further.

He had to explain severally that he didn't slit his wrist,he wasn't trying to commit suicide but instead his pity party seem to enlarge in population.The more reason he liked it better that the stunning therapist didn't seem to be in tune.

Emma Hale was divergent,she had read his mind so fast that he almost assumed she was a spy of some sort or ridiculous enough,a magician.He smiled coyly knowing she was in for a bumpy ride with him when her secretary accepted his offer to have her booked for the whole of the next day.

A knock sounded on his bedroom door and before he could respond,his stepbrother pushed the door open.

“I think you forgot something Edward”, Ryan said with obvious disdain.

“What?” Edward questioned, confused.

“Your manners i***t! I have warned you severally against barging into my room”, Ryan thundered.

“Relax brother,if you are worried about exposing your porcelain jar skin to me,you can be rest assured I am no gay”.

Edward's teasing silenced him,Ryan knew he could never win against that nut job of a brother he has.Despite his continuous effort over the years to stay hostile towards Edward and prevent their closeness,the carefree personality the younger man possesses had always won him over.

“I never said I have a porcelain jar skin”, Ryan muttered under his breath.

“But all the girls think so,don't you see how your list of admirers keeps piling up?And by the way, you actually do have great skin”.

Ryan ignored his gabbrish and started unbuttoning his shirt.Edward sat on his bed with an amused expression on his childish face.

“Why are you smirking?”

“Dad just sent you a terrible gift”, Edward responded, still smiling.

Ryan stopped undressing,his instinct told him Edward's next word will jab his heart.He had always known his father would do anything to favor his company even if it takes sacrificing his children's happiness.

“What is it this time?”

Edward handed him a fancy envelope and he could tell it was an invitation of some sort before opening it.

“You are to attend the prime minister’s daughter's third wedding and make as many friends as possible,chase away the rumours and possibly get yourself a girlfriend”.

“Delusional old man”, Ryan muttered, throwing the envelope on the bed.

“And before you ask me to go in your stead,he warned me against it or else my allowance will be withdrawn and my cards will be invalidated”. Edward explained.

“I can pay your allowance and get you another card”, Ryan said pleadingly indirectly.

Edward turned his face away from him,he knew he could barely get over the temptation to help Ryan everytime.

“I could get kicked out this time around,I am an illegitimate son remember”.

Edward's word hit him,it was true their father refused vehemently despite all pleas to list Edward as his heir, partly because his mother was black and also the illicit affair that led to his birth almost ruined his marriage to Ryan's mother.

There was an awkward silence between them.Edward sensing that Ryan had taken his word seriously laughed heartily and stood off the bed,he made for the door still laughing.

Ryan shook his head at Edward's weirdness, the only person he knew that would make a joke out of his own misfortune was his half brother.He hoped his innocence would continue all his life.

Being born into a family like theirs was a misfortune on its own.There were too many secrets that had to stay buried for life to go smoothly.Too many tears that had to be concealed from public view.

One of the preventive measures was this wedding party he had to forcefully attend.

“Just three hours! I will waste just three hours of my precious time over there”.

Ryan said to himself reassuringly, his mind drifted to the inevitable.How he had to answer to pity and critics with a fake smile plastered on his face for three hours at the wedding hall.

He tried to get it off his head as he slammed the door which Edward left open and made his way into the shower.He was about to switch on the hand shower when he heard his phone ringing ferociously.

Mr Connor, his father, was his best bet at such persistence,he ignored it and took his shower hastily as his mind was still on it.He wrapped a soft white towel around his lower body covering his genitals and made for the bedroom.

The caller id was strange,it was an international call,he was about to dial the number when the call came through again,he picked it up instantly.

“I thought you were intentionally ignoring my call”, the caller’s deep voice said, skipping pleasantries.

“Who are you?”

The voice sounded so familiar yet he couldn't place it.He had been getting too many sympathy calls lately but something about this voice unsettles him.

“How could you not recognize your best friend's voice”, the caller responded enthusiastically.

Ryan felt his body sag,he staggered backward and his hand trembled.

“Alex!” He affirmed suspiciously rather than questioned.

“Bang! I guess you have missed me as much as I do you,I will be returning to Los Angeles in a few days time after twenty years in exile, I will ensure I meet with you first”.

Alex’s word petrified him,he dropped the phone on the floor and held his heart while he struggled to breathe.

“Hello! Hello! Hello!” Alex went on and eventually gave up dropping the call.

Ryan thought of his usual coping mechanism,to think of something pleasant.He scanned through his memory but nothing seemed to be worth it until…..he stumbled on one.

Emma Hale’s soft voice! His quickened breath lowered and he sat on his bed still clutching his chest but it had stopped hurting. His eyes widened as it dawned on him. She was right, her voice saved him just now!

“You have to heal me Emma Hale”.