Butterfly Kisses

I

It was a cold dreary afternoon, my boots are in a puddle of tears above me. It is currently 12:05 my train is late. I'm not mad that my train is late but grateful. It's another minute I get to watch each individual raindrop hit the floor. That's why I love winter so much.  Actually, it is quite simple. I can relate to how quiet it gets when it snows, the leafless trees, and the grey skies. Winter is the only time when I don't feel like my heart is constantly about to give way. I always feel so trapped and alone. winter lets me escape, being alone comforts me. If someone tried to help, I would push him away out of fear. But now all I need is someone to be there for me not out of pity, but because they know about the sleepless nights and the constant heartache that I go through every day. I just need someone to understand my only source of comfort is gone and now I feel more alone than ever. I cry all night and then I'm too tired to do anything during the day. To think that all this pain and sorrow that I am feeling is all over a YouTube channel makes me feel stupid, but it's true. I never realized until now how much they helped me stay on track and be happy. But now it's just constant pain and pain that won't go away.

My train arrives...