I never had feelings for you
1157 Words
I walked into the school with Micah, trying not to gag when he held me. This was it, Mia. You are only doing this for Damien; I tried to tell myself. Yet, I couldn't help the disgust I felt at his touch. I wanted to push him off me, to create as much distance as I could between us, but I had to stay close to him, to make this work.
We had just stepped into the school when my eyes landed on Damien. He was leaning on his locker, laughing with his best friend, only to pause when he noticed me. The smile on his face vanished, replaced by a scowl as he stormed over to me.
“Let's get out of here!”
Before things would get drastic, I took Micah's hand and raced for the stairs, ignoring his questions. I didn't let go until I was certain Damien wouldn't catch up.
“What is going on?” Micah frowned at me, rubbing his wrist.
“Nothing. I just… excuse me, I need to use the bathroom.” Once more, I took to my heels before he could stop me, hastening over to the restroom, only for someone to drag me by the hand into an empty classroom. And that person was none other than a fuming Damien.
Damien slammed the door shut behind us, his eyes blazing with anger. “What are you doing with him?” he growled.
“Let go!” I tried to shake off his grip, but he held firm.
“Damien, let me go.”
“Not until you tell me what's going on,” he snapped, his eyes narrowing.
My heart raced as I struggled to maintain a calm facade, hiding the guilt and anxiety that threatened to betray me. I took a deep breath, attempting to sound nonchalant despite the turmoil inside.
“Damien, I don't have any feelings for you. I was just using you to get close to Micah,” I lied through my teeth, knowing this would come back to bite me in the arse.
Damien's expression turned incredulous, his eyes searching mine for any sign of deception, but I avoided his gaze, fearing my eyes would reveal the truth. “You're using me? For Micah?” he repeated, his voice laced with doubt.
I nodded, trying to look convincing despite the knot forming in my stomach. My palms grew sweaty, and I hoped he wouldn't notice.
“Yes. I've had feelings for Micah for a while now. You were just a distraction. I never loved you. I only used you because I couldn't get the man I loved.”
Damien's face fell, his eyes filling with hurt and anger. I felt a pang of remorse but pushed it aside, focusing on maintaining my charade. “A distraction?” he repeated, his tone heavy with emotion.
I steeled myself, fighting the urge to comfort him. “Yes. You were nothing but a pawn in my game to win Micah over, Damien. My heart belongs to Micah.”
As I spoke, I bit my inner cheek, using the pain to distract myself from the guilt threatening to overwhelm me. My voice trembled slightly, and I hoped he wouldn't notice.
“That's not true!” Damien's grip on my wrist tightened. “There’s no way you can be in love with the school bully!”
My pulse quickened at his words, but I rolled my eyes, feigning indifference. “I don't care. I'm happy with him, and that's all that matters. He makes me feel safe.”
Damien's eyes flashed with anger, and for a moment, I feared he saw through my lie. But then he released my hand and took a step back. “Please tell me you are lying, Mia. Tell me that all this is a prank. That's what it is, right? You don't mean those words, you just —”
“I don't love you. Don't delude yourself into thinking anyone would love someone like you. You are nothing to me. Damien. You are just a f*****g Lycan!”
“That’s not true.” Tears rolled down his cheeks at my remarks. “Please don't do this to me,” he begged, getting down on his knees. “I promise to do anything you want, Mia. I will f*****g do whatever you want me to do if it means you will take back those words. I'm nothing without you, Mia, and you know that.”
“I don't care.” I took a step back. “We were never meant to be. You are a Lycan, and I'm a werewolf. We aren't even supposed to be seen together.”
“But you said you didn't mind that! Have you forgotten the promise you made to me ten years ago? You f*****g vowed never to leave my side!”
I stood frozen, my heart heavy with guilt, as Damien's words cut deep. Ten years ago, I had made that promise, and now I was breaking it. I had to. This was the only way to keep him safe, or else Father would report us to the council.
“I was a child,” I spat, trying to defend myself. “I didn't know what I was saying.”
"No." His face contorted in anguish. “You knew exactly what you were saying,” he whispered, his voice cracking. “You promised to love me, no matter what. You promised to be there for me! You f*****g said we would grow old together. What happened to the kids we planned to have? What happened to the dreams we shared?”
“That was nothing.” I shook my head, desperate to maintain my charade. “It was nothing but a childish fantasy,” I lied, my voice cold. “I've grown up, Damien. I have different priorities now.”
The tears streaming down Damien's face broke my heart, but I couldn't afford to show weakness.
“Then what about last night when we slept together? You said —”
“They were all lies. Micah confessed his feelings last night, so I wanted to sleep with you one last time before I break it off with you.”
“Mia —”
“Let's pretend we don't know each other from now on,” I said, turning to walk away.
“Mia!” he called out, his tone raw with emotion. “Please don't do this to me. Don't hurt me anymore than you have done. Please,” he begged.
I didn't look back. I strode out of the classroom, leaving Damien's shattered heart behind.
But as I stepped into the busy hallway, I couldn't shake the feeling that I had just made a grave mistake. Was it worth it? Was keeping him safe worth breaking his heart?
It is.
I sniffed back tears. I had to do this. It was for his safety.
- Writer
