Chapter 3
1380 Words
Our kiss is rough and passionate. It's filled with love and heartache. There is so much heartache that I can taste the salt from our tears.
Years and years of love is flowing through our kisses and is flooding our bodies with desire.
Fuck, it's been so long since I have had a girl's lips pressed against mine that so many emotions are rising through me.
Unfortunately, as much as I would love to make love to her, I can't.
I drawback, breathing heavy, "I don't wanna be your weakness, Mary. I want to be your strength."
I wipe her tears away. "If this were before our lives had fallen apart, I would have shown you how much I love you. But, not while you're in this mind frame." I flop onto my back, ignoring the raging hard b***r I have, and draw Mary onto my chest.
"As numb as I have been lately, I had to see if I could still feel something." She states as she tosses her leg Over my waist and her arm over my stomach.
"Did you feel something?" I ask, as I tug her closer.
"I always feel with you, Riley." I hope I can still make her feel when her world comes tumbling down.
When that day comes, Mary will fall, and she's going to fall f*****g hard. I'm unsure if I'l be able to pull her up. Admittedly, I will try with all my f*****g might.
I'll be her crutch and will forever let her lean on me.
If she breaks, I'll put her back together, regardless of how long it f*****g takes.
I have a feeling that when Latt passes away, I'm going to lose my best friend too.
Mary is my heart. Always has been. And that will never change.
Furthermore, when her mother leaves her, I'll remind her of how much I love her every day, to show her she isn't alone and never will be.
I have been by her side from day one, and that is where I plan to be forever.
Importantly, Latt trusts me. And, I'l never break her trust. I'l be Mary's strength when she needs it.
Il carry her pain and mine.
Ill show her that fairy tales exist. Even in our saddest moments, I'll show her that my love will carry her through the good times and the bad.
Mary pov....
"You've had it long enough, Jeremy."A smile tugs at his lips, "Pass the blunt," I suggest as I hold my hand out.
"Here, birthday, girl." He teases as he takes one last drag before handing it over.
Instead of spending my eighteenth birthday with my family, I'm spending it with my friend. Surely,
Jeremy is the friend my mother would warn me to stay clear of. But, at this moment, I need him.
Moreover, I crave what he can offer.
Furthermore, Jeremy knows where to go to find the good s**t that provides me with the escape I've been searching for lately. And right now, that's just what I need.
I need the escape to mute out the real world because right now, all I endure is pain. I need something to wipe out that pain and Jeremy does just that.
Formerly, I knew Jeremy from school yet, I've never really hung out with him unless we were working on a class project together or within school property, but since we've graduated, things have changed. Of course, my family isn't happy about it, but they've given me space tonight since it is my birthday.
As a matter of fact, Mom encouraged me to go out and have fun tonight but ordered me to be safe.
Clearly, she wouldn't accept no for an answer, or I wouldn't be with Jeremy at the moment.
If my mother weren't so sick, I would have laughed in her face when she instructed me to enjoy myself. How the hell can I have fun when she's at home dying?
Sadly, being safe is the last thing I worry about because she is my main concern. I realize my mother is going to die, and each day, it becomes harder to watch. Honestly, I wish it were me instead of her because she doesn't deserve this.
Currently, I'm out living a double life while mom remains at home, bedridden. One that she knows nothing about. If mom was aware of what I was doing, I know she'd be upset.
Certainly, she would have given me the mother and daughter talk that I've grown to love.
The same thing that happened to my father is happening to her. And, every day I feel like I'm slowly dying with her.
Instead of crying again, I hit the blunt, and cough a little as the weed smoke fills my lungs. Straight away, Jeremy hands me his glass of 'Rum and Coke.' Without hesitation, I gulp it down, then hit the blunt again.
"Let's get this party started." Jeremy hollers as he blasts his stereo. I can't stop the giggle that slips past my lips. Perhaps, it's the m*******a, or the fact there is nobody here except Jeremy and me.
Once he plops down on the chair, I sit on his lap and rotate my hips in circles while I continuously puff the blunt.
Needless to say, Riley was angry when I left the house. Unfortunately, that didn't stop me. Instead of staying with him, I slammed my car door shut in his face and pulled off.
Riley wanted to celebrate my eighteenth with me like he has every year, by taking me to a fancy restaurant located Downtown. But, I rejected him. Before I had left, he reminded of how I only turn eighteen once, and how I should do it big.
However, Riley can't give me the escape I need. Riley is home.
Riley is love.
He's a reminder of everything bad, and how nothing lasts forever. Riley wants to love me, but that's the last thing I want.
Everybody I love dies. For that reason, I need an escape, not love. And, Riley can't give that to me. Or he refuses to. In truth, I'm unsure of which one it is.
Presumably, it's because he allows his love to interfere, so I've distanced myself from him.
Truthfully Ive distanced myself from everybody except for my mother.
Lazily, Jeremy glides his hands down my arms and removes the blunt from between my fingers.
"How are you holding up, Mary?"
Abruptly, I remove myself from Jeremy's lap,
"None of that, Jeremy." I take another swig of the 'Rum and Coke,' and feel the burn as it slides down my chest.
Jeremy studies me for a minute, "Im worried about you." He hands the blunt back to me,
"You're changing." He declares.
"The only time I don't hurt is when I'm with you."
I give him the empty glass, and he refills it. "I'd like to leave all the sadness at home and enjoy myself when Im with you."
"So, you're using me?" He questions as he pours the soda.
"No." I flop on his bed, "I like you as a friend Jeremy," I admit.
"Only a friend?" He sips our drink. I place the blunt in the ashtray and ignore him.
"What if I told you I liked you more than a friend?" He questions, keeping his voice firm.
"Then, I'd say we have problems." I'm not looking for a relationship because only one boy owns my heart. And, if Riley didn't push me away, I wouldn't even be here.
Though, I refuse to tell Jeremy that. "Im gonna go," I state as someone bangs on Jeremy's door.
"Was you expecting company?" I investigate.
"No." Jeremy strolls over toward me, and places a kiss on my cheek, "Anytime you need to talk, I'm here." He kisses the corner of my mouth, "Ill even let you use me, birthday girl." He pulls me into a hug, "Are you coming over tomorrow?" He asks.
"Probably not." I draw back, "Mom needs me."I spoke truthfully. I only came out for a little while tonight because she pleaded with me to enjoy my birthday. If it weren't for that, I'd be home with my mother. Alas, she wouldn't rest until I agreed to leave.
- Writer
