His little mate

Chapter 17

I did not know what to say or do. We just came back from a really tiring hike and a rouge attack. And he wanted to shower, after I told him about my problem with it. So I just looked at him with a blank expression on my face. “I know it is probably the last thing you want to do. But we are both really dirty and sweaty because of the hike. So it is better to have a quick shower before we go to bed. I am not going to force you to do anything. Not even the exercise Daniel gave us to help you, we will start with that one tomorrow. I just want you and me to be clean before we go to sleep.” He told me. And I was glad he would not force me to do anything. But also kind of scared because I would still have to go into the shower. “Can I just wash myself quickly and then get out of the shower?” I asked him. And he nodded his head. “Tonight I am going to take everything I can, but tomorrow we are going to start with getting you comfortable with the shower.” He told me. And I just nodded my head. We both took a short shower and went to bed.

The next morning I woke up early with a pit in my stomach, Marcus was going to make me shower. I looked at Marcus thinking that if he were still asleep I could escape this. But he was already awake. “Good morning little mate.” He said before he kissed me. “Lets get started with the shower, shall we.” He told me. I swallowed the lump in my throat and nodded my head. We both got up and he took me into the closet to get some clothes. He decided we should match. He gave me the other pair of clothes that he gave me yesterday. White jeans, a black hoody, white socks with black boots. He took out the same but instead of boots he took sneakers. He took my free hand and let me to the bathroom. He could feel that I was nervous and he tried to calm me down by making circles with his thumb on my hand, and it worked a little. He kept doing it until I had calmed down enough. He walked with me towards the shower and he looked into my eyes. “I am right here next to you. I am going to turn around so you are more comfortable with me being in the same room. But I am right here and you are safe. Nothing is going to happen to you in the shower. I promise you.” He told me and I believed and trusted him. “I know, and I trust you.” I told him with a small smile on my face. And he gave me a really big one back. He gave me a big and soft kiss that made my legs weak and then he turned me around so I was facing the shower. He also turned around and I took a deep breath. I undressed myself and I got into the shower and I turned it on and I went under it. I kept thinking he was close by and that nothing was going to happen to me. “Are you alright little mate?” he asked me. “Yes I am alright, can you keep talking to me?” I asked him. “Sure what do you want to talk about?” he asked and I did not know what to answer. So I looked around me and I saw the shampoo and a question popped into my head “How do I wash my hear? How do I use the shampoo?” I asked him. And it was quiet for a second. Before I heard him laughing, this made me blush a little. “That is not funny, it is a serious question” I told him, and he just kept this little sniffle that was kind of cute. “I can explain it to you or I can help you with it.” He told me. And I was shocked that he wanted to help me wash my hair. “Mmhh maybe you try to explain it first and if I do not understand you help me?” I told him. “Alright. Well you start with putting a little shampoo onto your hands. Then” “Which bottle do I use?” I asked him looking at all the diverent ones. “You can use the purple one.” He told me. And I looked but there where two of those. So I was trying to figure out which one. So I took the one that said shampoo. “Alright then you put it on your hand and massage it on top of you head into your hair.” He told me so I did just that but it came into my eyes and it stung a little. “OUCH!” it slipped out of my mouth before I could help it. “What is going on?” He asked me I could feel that he was just outside and ready to come in. “Nothing it just came into my eyes.” I told him quickly. “Alright just turn around, so you face the shower wall that is opposite of the door.” He told me, and I did. He waited twenty seconds before he opened the door. I panicked a little because he just came into the shower with me and he could see my entire body. I felt scared but then he touched my back. “Calm down, I am still in my underwear and I am just going to help you wash your hair and then I am going to leave you back alone in the shower.” He told me. So I took some deep breaths and I let him do whatever it took to wash my hair. He did what he told me to do with the shampoo and massaged my scalp, it felt really good. He took his time and the I saw his arm reach in front of me and I held my breath because I did nit know what he was doing. “Relax little mate. I did not think you would be comfortable to turn around so I am taking the shower head to was the shampoo out.” He told me, I did what he told me and I relaxed a little. He washed my hair and within a few minutes he was done. He placed the shower head back but instead of going out of the shower he stayed in it, with me. “What are you doing?” I asked him. “I am not done yet, I still need to use the other purple bottle for your hair.” He told me, and I was a little confused, “Why do I need two bottles of shampoo?” I asked him. “I do not know that it is just what my mom told me to get you, so I did and I do not question her because she is a woman and my mom, so…” I giggled at that and I let him do the other bottle. He put it in my hair, but not on my head. “Why are you avoiding my head?” I asked him and I heard him stifle a laugh. “Because this is for your hair that is not on your head, it is a conditioner.” He told me, and I did not question him about it anymore. After he put it in my hair he just waited. “According to my mother I have to wait a little before I wash it out, so… is there something you would like to do today? After we see my family off?” He asked me and I had to think a little because I really did not know. “I do not know anything I want to do, why do you ask?” I told him honestly. “Well I have a little pack work to be done, but it can wait until tomorrow, if you want to do anything.” He told me, and then he took the shower head and washed out the conditioner. “No, you can do your pack work. I will find something to do, you do not have to worry about me.” I told him. “Alright, then I will do it right after my family has left so we can spend some time. I am taking you shopping with me tomorrow by the way. I have asked my mom for al you sizes and she gave them to me on a piece of paper, she is a natural at that. She knows someone’s size by just looking at the person.” He told me and I wanted to protest, because I did not want him to spent any money on me. But he would not have it. “I am done with you hair little mate, if you wash your body then I am going out of the cabin. When your done just say so and then I will leave the bathroom to leave you to get dressed.” He told me and he left the shower. I was a little stunned, but I was now alone in the shower, and somehow I felt cold, even though the shower was warm. So I finished quickly and I told Marcus I was done. I heard him leave the bathroom and I looked outside to see if he was really gone, and he was. “That was a little scary Hope, was it not?” I asked her. “No I thought it was amazing and sweet, he really cares about us and Dexter is also super sweet. They both cannot wait until you allow them to mark us and fully mate.” She told me and this stilled my movement. I was busy putting on my jeans when she dropped the mating bomb. “Do they really want to mate with us?” I asked her. “Of course they want to mate with us, they already love us. And I know that you also love them, or at least starting to.” She told me. And this got me thinking, do I really love them? And the answer was yes, yes I do. But was I ready for the mark and mate. No I was not. “Hope, I know they are more than ready for the mate and mark, and you too for that matter. But I am not ready. And I promise that as soon as I am ready for one of them, or both, I will not let you wait any longer than necessary.” I told her. “I know, and we are all going to wait until you are ready. We both went through something traumatising and, well, if I am honest with you. I am also feeling the effects of our past. This shower we just had for example, it was the longest we had in our entire live, and the first one we enjoyed. And it was something new for me. And I loved it, especially when Marcus washed our hair. It was heaven.” She told me, and it made me laugh, because she was totally right. When I was fully dressed I left the bathroom and I saw Marcus already showered and dressed sitting on the bed. He looked at me and he stood up and he took my hand. “The pack wants to say goodbye to my family so we are having breakfast downstairs with the pack before we see them off.” He told me, and I nodded my head. “How long was I in the shower?” I asked him. He smiled at me while we were walking downstairs. “We were in there for ten minutes but you were in there alone for ten minutes, so that makes it twenty I guess.” He told me, and I just looked at him with my mouth an open. I was in the shower for twenty minutes, and nothing happened to me. This shocked me a little. But I was also happy, so I gave him my biggest smile and a hug. He pulled back from me after a minute and he pulled me in for a passionate kiss. When we reached downstairs everybody was already sitting. He pulled me with him while greeting everybody. I have not met so many members of the pack at the same time yet, and it made me nervous. Marcus sensed my uneasiness and he started to make circles on the back of my hand, and it calmed me down a little. He pulled me with him to two chairs that were at the head of the table and he made me sit down on one of them while he took the other one. “Welcome everyone. As you all know I have found my mate.” This got some cheers from his pack and made me smile a little while fumbling with the hem of my hoody. He waited for everyone to calm down. “But we are not here to meat her today, my parents are going back home today and this breakfast is for them. But I will be having a pack meeting in a few days to which the entire pack is invited and you can meet our new luna there. It will be more a party then a meeting. Now I have talked enough. Enjoy your breakfast.” That is what he needed his speech with. “Marcus?” I asked carefully, “Yes little mate” he told me. “It is not that I do not want to be luna. But why did you no tell me about this?” I asked him really nervous. And he sensed it. “Hey, you do not have to worry. It is just a little get to getter to meet you. No strings attached.” He told me. I nodded my head, but I was suddenly not hungry anymore, not that I was ever hungry. Marcus noticed I was not eating and he put some thing on my plate, some toast, bacon, and eggs. And he looked at me in a way that said if you do not finish I will put more on it. And on that note I started to eat, slowly. After half an hour everybody was finished. I was starting to stand up to take away my plate and help the other omega’s when Marcus pulled me down and told me to stay in the chair. And after a few minutes al of the plates and other essentials where gone and everything was clean. The pack-members had left to do what they do everyday. I looked at Marcus “Why could I not help them, when it is something I always do?” I asked him. “Because you do not have to.” He simply told me and with that he stood up and he gave me his hand so I could grab it. I followed his example and I took his hand. He walked me to the front door and I saw his family putting everything into a car. The twins were already in the car, waiting for the car to leave and go home. I took my hand from Marcus and I quickly walked back inside to get them what I made for them. I came back a few minutes later with a stack of boxes I asked Marcus if I could use them. I gave everyone of them a container with there favourite snack in it.  When I came to his mother she pulled me into a hug. I was startled at first but I adapted and I hugged her back, kind of. When she let me go she looked me in the eyes and told me something I never thought I would ever hear someone say to me. “Thank you, for everything you have done for my boy. I could not have asked for a better daughter in law then you. I already see you as my real daughter.” She told me before she left to the car. Marcus stood beside me and together we waved at them until they where out of sight. I was still a little stunned by what his mother had said to me, but I focused on what Marcus was saying to me. “Hey little mate, I am going to finish my pack-work. You can do whatever you want to do until you are done. I only ask you to tell me where you are. So if you go outside you tell me so I know where you are.” He told me and I nodded my head. “Can I stay outside? I want to walk in the garden.” I asked him. And he just looked at me with a sly smile on his face. “What did I just tell you. You do not have to ask me permission to do anything. I just want to know where you are little mate. So lets try this again, yes?” he told me, and I looked at him with a confused face, I did not know what he meant by that. “What do you mean?” I asked him. “I mean that you do not have to ask me anything just do whatever you want and tell me where you are, I am not going to stop you, as long as you stay on the territory.” He told me, and then I knew what he meant. “I am going to be outside in the garden, and later I you are not done yet but I am done walking I am going back inside.” I told him. And he gave me a big smile, that said that I said it right, so I gave him a smile back. He gave me a big, long, and breath-taking kiss, before he left me to do his duty. I started to walk outside to the garden. And I started to talk to Hope about what we were talking about this morning, the mark and mating. “Do you really think that he means everything he tells me, about loving me?” I asked Hope because that was my deepest doubt. “Yes, I truly believe he and Dexter truly love us. And I love them to. And I know somewhere deep down you are starting to love them to.” She told me and it made me think. Am I already in love with them? Am I just in denial because I am scared he will turn out like Max in the end? Or is it just my insecurity’s about myself because I am not good enough for him. “Stop that thought right there! We are good enough for them, they do not want anybody else, and I do not want anybody else either!” Hope told me, and I could not help but think about it more. Al my live I had bee treated less than thrash because I was not worth more. But now I am being treated like someone else. And I like it, but it also makes me nervous. “There is no need to make yourself nervous, they love us and we love them. His pack, the ones that know you, also really like you. We are home here. You do not have to worry about anything.” Hope told me. And I listened to her, because deep down I knew she was right, I was just stuck in the past. And I needed to get my head out of the past. I was walking in the garden and I had not noticed time slipping by. I saw that a few hours had already past since we had said goodbye to Marcus his parents. And I noticed the kids running outside playing in the leaves. I stopped walking and I just looked at them with a small smile on my face. I imagined that the kids would be mine and Marcus, and that we were watching the happily together. This thought made my smile drop, do I really want children with Marcus? Do I want children at all? “Do you want pups Hope?” I asked her. “Honestly, yes. I can not wait until I can play with my pups.” She told me. And I agreed with her. Pups would be amazing. I stayed watching the kids for ten more minutes until I walked back inside. I looked around trying to figure out where to go next. And I decided to explore a part of the house I had not been yet, Marcus had told me I could go anywhere I wanted. So that is what I did. I walked towards the big staircase in the hall and I chose to go up. Because downstairs where the dungeons, cells, and anything bad in my experience, so I went upstairs, I had also pretty much covered the entire ground floor. On the first floor I found guest rooms and rooms of pack members that lived in the packhouse. I also found a movie room, a gym, and multiple bathrooms. I went to the second floor and there I found the same as the floor before except that there was no movie room, but a game room. On the third floor I found the Delta-floor like Marcus told me, and I skipped it, because I did not want to intrude anyone’s privacy, I did the same with the third floor, the beta-floor. And then I was on the top floor. The place where Marcus and I stayed. I started to explore it more. I found out that next to our room, the rooms for his family and the kitchen, there where still a couple rooms left. I knew one was his office and the other was mine. And then I found four more doors. Two of them let to spare rooms and one was a small bathroom. And the fourth one let to a staircase, so there was an attic. This made me curious. “Shall we check it ou Hope?” I asked her, a little nervous if I could. “Well he said we could go anywhere, and I am really curious, just like you are.” So I followed her advice. We went up the stairs. It went around in a circle and when I was on the top I saw a door, it looked like a very old door. I tried to open it, I pulled and I pushed but the door was locked. I looked for a key, and for the first-time luck was on my side. There was hanging a key next to the door. So I took the key and I unlocked the door. I took a deep breath and I opened the door. But what I saw inside took my breath away. I looked around with an open mouth. It looked like a torture room, but at the same time it did not. It was red with black and had a lot of wooden items in it. It had a really big bed in the middle of the room. The room was round. And the bed was surrounded by cabinets and on the wall there were hanging whips and there was some kind of swing hanging from the ceiling, it looked like a swing but it only had some ropes of leather. There where a lot of mirrors and some kind of cross was positioned behind the head of the bed. I was walking around the room now. I found another door. I opened it. It was a bathroom. It had a walk-in shower, a bathtub, a toilet, a sink, and cabinets, it looked like a normal bathroom. But when I walked closer I saw that it had mirrors on the ceiling. It also had some weird things in the cabinets. I closed the door and walked back into the room. I was fascinated by the room. I started to open some cabinets and I found some weird stuff. I found some cuffs and weird looking sticks. I picked one up and it had a button. I pushed the button and it started to fibre. And I quickly pushed the button again to turn it off. I put it back and I picked up some clams and I looked at them before putting them back. It also had collars and rope. And a lot of other stuff. I put everything back and closed the cabinet. I stumbled back and I hid my head I turned around and I saw that it was some piece of wood with three holes in it hanging from the ceiling. I walked away from it and I turned around and I saw some weird looking benches and a couch. I walked towards it and looked at it. “That is a spanking bench.” I heard Marcus his voice from behind me, and I jumped at his voice. I turned around and I looked at him. Afraid I had done something wrong. He took a step towards me and I took one back, or at least I tried to, but I was stuck my back was against the ‘spanking bench’ like he called it. “Easy, you have not done anything wrong. Calm down little mate.” He told me while he kept coming closer to me. I started to shake a little. This room was really weird. He gave me a sad smile, which told me he was sad because I kept trying to get away from him. So I closed my eyes and I started to take deep breaths to calm myself down, and it worked when I opened my eyes I saw that he was standing one step away from me. He looked into my eyes and when he saw I was calm he gave me a careful smile. He took the last step and he took me in his arms. I felt save and warm the second he did that. “I did not want you to find out like this. I wanted you to feel completely comfortable with me and Dexter. I also wanted you to feel save with me. Save enough to let me dominate you. Because that is what I am, a dominant. And you are standing in my special room. That I made for me and my mate.” He told me he pulled back a little before he looked in my eyes. And I was confused, because I did not know what he meant by dominant and special room. “What do you mean? What is a dominant? What would you do to me in this room?” I asked him because I knew that he build this room for him and me. He looked at me and he turned me around he kept hugging me like his live depended on it, he led me to the couch and he sat me down. And than he started to explain. “I mean that I like to be in control of you, in the bedroom, when we are having s*x and making love together. I want to use al the stuff you can find in this room on you to pleasure you. But when you disobey me I want to punish you. Nothing like Max did to you I promise you. It would be little things and you say when it is enough. And if you do not want something we will not do it. The bench that you just saw is one way to punish you. I would lay you over it, naked, and the I would start to spank your butt. And you would have to count every slap I gave your butt. That is a way to punish, there are way more but it is the least painful way. And to pleasure you I would use my toys.” I was to stunned to say anything. He took my hand and he walked me to the cabinet that I had just looked in and he opened it.  He took one of the weird sticks, “This is a dildo. I would use it by putting it in your p***y, mouth or butt and I would move it and turn it on.” He told me, and I was starting to get where he was going with everything. He picked up one of the clams. “This is a n****e-clam. I would put it on your n****e and it would give you pleasure.” He stopped showing me more stuff and he grabbed my hand and looked in my eyes. “Please say something, I know this is to early, but please say something!” he told me and I looked at him. I took my hands away from his and I saw his face fall, but before he could do or say anything I hugged him. Not because I was happy with the room or his intentions, but because I needed it.