Gone Wrong

Destroyed

Hridhi Chatterjee:

A pool of sunlight reached my eyelids like uninvited guests at a party I never hosted. I had never felt the sun burn so hot. So hot. As hot as the glorious afternoons I'd wasted writing a fantasy.

Clink

Clink

Was I home? Back home?

Just like that?

Maybe my mother was back, pulling the curtain in her old ways and whispering to me, just soft enough to not irritate me,

"Wake up. Today's school."

Clink

Clink

Maybe she was worshiping Lakshmi today. Maybe today was Thursday, one of my favorite days of the week.

Clink

Clink

The bell was closer to my ears, closer, too close.

Maybe she was coming. Yes, she might be coming. I told her in my mind,

"Can you come later? I want to sleep a little more. I'm so tired, Ma."

She would have listened. She could read minds.

The footsteps drew closer. Closer and closer. Couldn't ma hear me?

"Hridhi, wake up. It's noon."

No, it was not Ma. It was the devil. f**k me for mistaking him for...my mother.

I snapped my eyes open and almost jumped out of bed. I wasn't even in my room. I was in his room.

"What time is it?" I asked to myself, my hands rummaging for my phone.

"It is 2 PM." said Advik, his hands wrapped in a prayer.

I tried to get up from the bed, his bed to be exact but almost crashed back.

Shackles? Around my hands?

What the hell happened to me?

The shackles were tied with the bedside lamp that was kind of fixed with the wall, making me look like one of the prisoners in those pathetic movies.

"Advik." I shouted.

He didn't respond.

His eyes were still closed, his hands still wrapped in a prayer and drops of water shining in his hair as the sunlight hit him parallel.

"Advik, what is this?"

He finally opened his eyes. I watched as he took a key out of his trouser pocket and unlocked the shackles.

I took a deep breath, feeling my hands for the first time. Oh, how wonderful it would feel to...slap his pretty face?

But I resisted the temptation. It would be a crime to kill a devotee.

But I would kill him later for imprisoning him in his room like this.

Returning back to my room, I took a shower, the water cool against my skin getting rid of his smell from his bedsheets.

I had an exceptionally sharp nostrils. I could smell minor things. Advik always used expensive perfumes thinking it made him look intimidating. But the antiseptics from hospital always got mixed with it. Always.

The smell of sick people, the smell of people surviving it, the smell of new life.

I could smell everything.

It was not pleasant. It wasn't even that bad.

It just had the ability to f**k with my mind.

When I got out of the shower, fully dressed into a comfortable Kamiz, my irritating hair now dripping with cold water, I was greeted with the smell of curry in the air.

Something happened last night. But what happened? Why did my head somehow sting with pain?

That's when I remembered.

Ma.

She was here last night.

And last night suddenly blurred into a flashes of images.

Blood. Glass. Door. Scream. Smile.

Oh, those were just key words.

"Advik," I shouted. I walked towards him. Thank God, he didn't put on his pathetic perfume!

I grabbed his collar.

"You bastard!" I shouted. "Where's my ma? What the hell happened last night?"

He looked at me. in his "I-just-prayed-so-I'm-holy" face.

"I won't be slapping you today, Hridhi," said Advik, his voice exceptionally calm. "I just made a vow. So I kindly request you to get your...fucking hands off me."

I gripped his collar harder.

"Tell me, Advik, I beg you!" I shouted.

"Did I ever say that I won't tell you?" he said.

I backed away.

"So, you fainted last night," said Advik. "You should have told me that you were drunk,"

I tried to remember last night. Jake paid for my drink at the bar. I was thinking that I should buy him another drink someday.

Then I came home, I remembered. And we somehow got into a fight (not the argumentive ones, of course).

Suddenly I looked at my wrist.

My wrist watch.

Fuck!

I never noticed it. I never f*****g noticed it.

How stupid of me!

"The blood," I recalled. "Was yours."

Advik didn't respond. Didn’t even shake his head.

He just stared at the ceiling.

"Advik-"

"I also hit you hard on the ground," said Advik. "That's why you fainted."

"No," I said. "It's definitely not the case."

I paced the living room.

"I never fainted. I wasn’t supposed to faint-"

He didn't look at me when he said,

"Come on, let's have lunch,"

Lunch was quiet as always, like the warm before a cyclone would hit.

"Where are my parents?" I asked.

"Left at 1 PM." he said. "Told me not told wake you up."

"My mother left me sleep till noon?" I asked. "That's impossible."

"Well you wouldn’t wake up-"

He stopped and then pored himself a glass of water.

"Ma cooked it, didn't she?" I asked.

He nodded.

"Just eat. You need to...uh...eat."

But a storm was already brewing inside me.

I needed answers. Real answers. And it looked like Advik was lying.

A simple push wouldn’t...wouldn’t make me faint, right?