BLAMELESS SORROWS

23. Night walk.

Axel's Point of View.

I stand behind the gate waiting for Tilbe to come back home. She called a few minutes back saying that she is nearly by the gate. So currently Iam standing leaning by the gate, feeling the cold breeze of the night which seems to be shaking me awake, both physically and mentally.

The scene is pleasant here, and also Iam not standing by the main gate but other smaller one by the side. Through this one we can went back to our home quicker.

The palace light softly lighted the place where Iam and besides the moon is shinning beautifully tonight in all its glory. So it's quite bright for a night, softly lighted everywhere.

Just as I was standing there I heard a car zoom in making me go rigid in nervousness. Cause I know that just besides this wall there is someone else other than Tilbe too. Someone I can end up hurting.

I heard the car doors opening and there there were sound of people shuffling out.

And then I heard Tilbe voice.

Tilbe: Thank you for thr ride Vann and you too Sis Ri, thanks for the night.

Then I heard a man voice, which must be Vann.

Vann: Tilbe, are you sure you can go back from here alone? We are here anyway, why don't I drop you off till your home?

It seems Tilbe shake her head in a no cause there was no sound from her but someone else speak up, this time a female voice which must be Sis To or Heri.

Heri: Yes, you live quite far away from the main palace, don't you? And the path towards there is like a forest, so dark and thick. Let us drop you Tilbe.

I chuckle at how much they seem to care about Tilbe while also questioning my action as my heart skip a beat hearing the soft pleasant voice, words filled with warm and care which I grave. Weirdly I want to keep on hearing her soft gentle voice, it give me peace in myself strangely.

Then I heard Tilbe again.

Tilbe: Someone will be there to pick me up, so it's okay. And besides it's not like there is anything or anyone inside the palace, so I'll be fine.

There was a short moment of quite silence following this but then the girl speak up again making me listen eagerly.

Heri: Are you sure someone is here to pick you up, call them to know if they are here. Let us wait together.

That bring me out of my enjoying her soft voice. And I quickly texted Little Gift that I am besides the gate, not willing for them to know someone is there which will be followed by Tilbe's awkward explanation of why I can't meet them.

Thankfully Tilbe seems to have got my message.

Tilbe: That was a message that they he is there by the main palace, I'll have to go in now.

Vann: Who is here to pick you up anyway, it feels like you are hiding a treasure by your home with how secretive you are about your house and who live there.

Oh yeah, even Vann has never been by our house, its just Tilbe going to there every time, making me feel bad.

Tilbe: You will be shock if only you know how great of a treasure Iam hiding.

That instantly put a small smile on my face, leave it to Tilbe to make a curious person more curious and make va sad and lonely person like me always feel special and appreciated making me happy all the time.

Anyway after they greet their goodbyes, Tilbe open the small door by the gate which is to let people pass. She open and step in and immediately smile when she saw me standing at the corner of the gate.

But before she can come in, someone caught her hand and someone come in or rather Heri come in halfway making me hide myself more beside the tree behind me.

Tilbe look at her confusedly while Heri raise her scarf making Tilbe make an Oh face, while Heri smile at her and put the scarf neatly on her.

While I look at her profile mesmerised, her brown hair once again flying here and there with the breeze while her milky white skin glowing by the gaze of the moon. Her smile so warm and comforting, that it suck me in to her. While her eye look like a deep shade of silver because of the reflection from the moon, making me unable to see it's real colour.

And while I was gazing at her although unable to see her full face, entranced by her beauty she wish Tilbe goodnight and walk out, away from my gaze making me grave to see her face again. Graving for that weird peace and happiness I got when I look at her.

But I was brought out of my trance seeing as Tilbe is coming towards me, but even this time before she reach me a guy rush in and softly kiss her forehead quickly making both me and Tilbe shock.

Vann: Good night Little one.

Tilbe: Good night.

And Tilbe look at him with a bright smile while Vann look at her in pure love and adoration and with one last look went out of the gate, the gate finally closing.

Tilbe: Hey Ax.

I smile at her antics but wish her back as well.

Axel: Hey Little Gift, how was your night?

She stop and think about it for a while.

Wow, she must have one hell of an eventful night if she can't even describe it without thinking it through.

Tilbe: It was eventful, Sis Ri and Galen keep on flirting I think, while Vann keeps on shouting at them, while me I eat fruits and look at them.

I ruffled her head awed at her explanation, but weirdly my heart feel slightly uncomfortable thinking about Heri with Galen, but I don't know why. And Iam not courageous enough to know, so I decide to divert my mind elsewhere.

Axel: Tilbe should we walk back home and not ride?

She think about it for a bit but then nod her head agreeing with me.

So we went towards the small trail which is completely lighted with street lamp in every short interval, looking so bright.

This small trail lead back to home and it's about twenty minutes walk if we walk through this.

And I need the time to talk to Little gift, she has been avoiding me keenly this day not willing to talk with me about the subject she know I will bring up.

But if we walk she have no where to run, so perfect plan for me.

And besides I want to take a walk with her too, enjoying the starlight night graced by the beauty of the moon shining gracefully. All the tree standing calmly resting as the midnight comes, and the soft breeze sawing softly tunning a soft sound like music, pleasant to hear.

Axel: It really is a peaceful night!

Tilbe nod along agreeing with me.

Axel: You also know Iam not leaving you alone till I got my answers right?

She sigh as I said that, not really surprised by what Iam saying.

Tilbe: I know! Actually Iam quite ready to answer everything now, I consider it quite lucky and great on my part that I avoid you for that long!

I look at her in disbelieve while she look at me proudly, proud of her own action.

Axel: You really are one cheeky gift!

She chuckled at my words when I said that.

Axel: It's been so long since that day, but it seems like it is never going to leave us alone.

She suck in her breath as I said that.

Tilbe: Because that day, a part of you died with no plan of coming back. I heard that people with a Tama live like everyone of us, going out and mingling with everyone outside Iklu. So why can't you do that as well?

Axel: Because Iam blessed with the eye of truth. Like before, I can clearly see the sincere love and adoration the boy had for you, and the warm sincere care the girl had for you.

And maybe it's because of the comforting warm and care I saw in her feeling, that Iam so attracted towards her even before I can see her face clearly.

Axel: But just like I can see the truth I can always see lies and false pretty clearly. And because I can know what people are feeling truly and has no doubt in my head and can open up wholeheartedly, I tend to love and hate people all too quickly and too deeply for my Tama's comfort. So, I can't have the courage to go out.

She look at me and said nothing just walking on, hiding her gaze from me.

Axel: You know, that day when the beast attack. All I can think about was whether the little girl who is always nagging me making sure Iam okay is okay? Whether the pain she goes through is too much for her little self, will she give up, what can I do to save her and nothing else, I don't even know what pain I go through because I keep on thinking of only those.

She stop walking listening to me speak with her back on me.

Axel: The only thing I can vividly remember of that day was the fear that I might lose my most loved one and nothing else. That fear is instilled so deeply in my heart that, I can't grow to hate the Tama that I have. You said that if I take the Tama as a curse then you will think that you brought the curse to me right?

She just stand there her head now down with no answer.

Axel: Well if you still feel guilty about my Tama, then does that mean you admit that Iam a curse?

As I said that she whipped back her face quickly shaking her head left to right in a no, violently with tears streaming down her face.

And then she start to cry loudly standing in the middle of trail surrounded on both side by the tree, the moon shining down on her while the street like sparkle on her tears. I look at her not going and comforting as I want her to vent out her unhappiness.

Tilbe(crying): I just thought that if I had died that day, then nothing if this sort will have happen. Ax, you are not like you anymore. You don't smile, you don't laugh or look happy doing anything. Always cooped up inside with nothing to do, we could have avoided this if I had died, if I had just died nothing wi...

I went towards her and hug her tightly, her cries scaring me at this point, her words stabbing me each second.

Axel: Like you said nothing will have happen if you had died cause I will have died as well. You Tilbe are the gift of life you blessed me with in the darkest moment of my life and without you I will never have survived.

She whimpered and clung to me more and more.

Tilbe: But you could have gone out and have all the fun and do all kind of things unlike now, if I had been d..

Axel: Shss! it's not nice to say such thing like that. And like I have said I will have died too if something had happened to you that day. And besides how am I not happy? Iam very much happy, you are always with me that you don't even give me a chance to think about any unhappy thought.

She sniffled as I said that, while still clinging to me more and more.

Tilbe: Really?

I chuckled at that, I guess my change in mood this past few month and the dull feeling I always have, has caught up to her making her think of all this weird stuff.

Axel: Really. Always remember, you are my gift which is the most precious to me and my only precious little sister and the person I love the most.

She nod her head cutely while sniffling here and there.

Axel: I was happy and could make it through all this year's and it's all thanks to you little gift, please know that none of this is your fault and that you life is worth everything that I could offer in this world.

And like that with those sincere word, I had a thought that I should also make more effort to be happy and to live so that my loved one can be happy as well.