Forced marriage to Royal Knight | Jaehyun (18+)
1313 Words
Being a woman, and being one from a noble family, there was only one way in which I could make myself useful. Marriage. And my father had offered me to several knights of the kingdom. All of them had accepted. But the great price, was the best one of them. The first knight of the kingsguard.
I was scared to death of such a marriage. What would I do if he didn't like me? I would bring shame upon my family... what if my father disowned me? On our wedding night, which was only our second encounter, counting the wedding ceremony, I trembled as he came into my chambers.
"I know you don't want me as a husband. But we still have our duties. That being said, I won't force you. If you want me to leave, speak now."
No. I couldn't reject him. Father would have my head. It is my duty as a wife to please my husband. I shook my head.
He leaned in and kissed the crook of my neck, pulling me closer by the waist. When his hand reached the threads holding my gown together, I flinched. He stopped, looking at me, and asked again.
"Do you want me to leave?"
"N-... no."
He pulled his shirt over his head and carefully pulled down my gown. I let him lay me down on the bed before he himself hovered above me like an ominous shadow. I stared at him and his dark hair falling above his dark eyes that softly glanced at my lips and then my neck and collarbone. He bent down and kissed me again.
As soon as his warm lips touched my cold skin I jolted and brought my hands to my chest trying to make myself smaller. He pulled back to look into my eyes and then let his gaze wonder up and down my body. I blushed embarrassed to be looked at and turned my head away. He grabbed my chin with two fingers and made me look at him.
"Are you sure you want to do this?"
I realized I was trembling. Should I tell him I was just scared? No, that would make him feel guilty. I had to do this. I had to make him like me. No words came out so I nodded, trying to smile. The gesture only seemed to make him hesitate even more.
But nonetheless he bent down and kissed my forehead, down to my cheek and then my jawline.
"Hold on to me..."
I did as he told, but the pain was still unbearable. Luckily, I managed to stay quiet and hide my pained expression until it was over, and we fell asleep. And in the morning when I woke up, he was gone, off to fight in a three year long war.
*
The only thing I did day and night was to await his return. What else could I do? I was starting to lose hope, and therefore didn't even anticipate that he would come back at all. I also figured if he did return, I would be informed of it first.
So it came as a near shock when someone one night barged in through the door of our chambers as I was getting ready for bed. I jumped out of my chair and recoiled at the sudden intrusion. When I saw the intruder was my husband, I froze.
He was wearing only a shirt and looked tired, as if he had been traveling nonstop until this point. When he layed eyes on me something sparked in his expression, but when he saw how frightened I was, the spark disappeared. He closed the door and marched up to me. I was careful not to avoid him, even if it meant he would strike me.
But when he lifted his hand and grabbed my wrist angrily, I couldn't help but flinch.
"You could at least pretend to be happy to see me..."
"I- I am. You startled me, that's all."
He looked at his hand around my wrist and let it go, tentatively.
"What am I doing?..." he muttered, and turned away.
I couldn't let him leave like this. It was my fault for getting scared. As he turned away I quietly grabbed his shirt. He stopped and turned around, curious.
"Don't leave..." I whispered.
He looked at me while I nailed my gaze to the floor. Then he took a step closer, searching for my eyes with his own. I finally dared to look up into his deep brown eyes, filled with so much compassion and devotion. It caught me off guard, the way he looked at me. After admiring my face for a few moments he clenched his jaw.
"Damn it. Let me just..." he muttered before leaning forward and placing his lips on mine. I grabbed his shoulders at the unexpected act of love. He gently sat me down on the bed and caressed my thigh, up under the tunic I was wearing.
"Hey-... wait!"
"Jaehyun."
"What?"
"Jaehyun. Not 'hey'. You do know your husbands name don't you?"
Before I could answer he silenced me with another kiss. He then leaned forward with one hand on each side of me and kissed my cheek, moving down to my neck. I curled up into a ball at the sudden approach and he paused and tilted his head up to look at my face.
"You don't want this?"
I suddenly had a flashback to all those years ago on our wedding night. Now I had the chance yet again to say no. A part of me wanted to. I didn't want to feel that pain again. But I thought it was better I got used to it already.
"Y-yes. I do."
He waited a moment but then moved on top of me. The flashback started to become even more vivid and I clenched my muscles uptight. He sighed.
"Just bear it."
I looked up at him surprised and slightly terrified by his words.
"Is that what you're telling yourself?" he continued.
I was surprised yet again but at the same time relieved.
"I won't force you to do anything. I know you must be scared from last time. I'm sorry. I should've held back then. But that night you were simply too irresistable for me to think straight."
I blushed, shocked at his words. He hadn't done anything wrong. I had said yes. When I didn't answer him he started getting up to leave. I grabbed his shirt again.
"Wait."
He stopped.
"I... I wanna try it again."
He returned to his previous stance on top of me.
"If you really want to I'm here for you. But I won't give you a chance to change your mind like last time. If you want me to stop, now is the time to say it."
I shook my head.
"I don't want you to stop. I want..."
I was afraid to ask him. I felt like I shouldn't ask for anything in my position.
"Yes?" he asked while staring at my lips, waiting for me to continue.
"Tell me what you want."
He was so dominant yet I felt like he would kill for me if I asked it of him every time he looked at me.
"I want you to be gentle. Can you... be gentle?... Please?"
He smirked and put a strand of hair behind my ear.
"I'll be as gentle as I can."
He removed my tunic and bent down kissing my chest down my stomach all the way to my waist. I started getting frightened again. What if he couldn't hold back? What if it hurt even more this time?
No. I had to trust him. And I had to trust myself with him.
*Greatly inspired by the comic book series "Under the Oak Tree" by Suji Kim.*
- Writer
